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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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November 20, 2024

EXCLUSIVE: Jake Paul Set to Fight Eliud Kipchoge

November 20, 2024/ Mark Remy
EXCLUSIVE: Jake Paul Set to Fight Eliud Kipchoge

Netflix, Runner’s World team up to present test of strength vs. endurance.

Read More
November 20, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Eliud Kipchoge, Jake Paul, Boxing, Sponsorships, Runner's World, Netflix, Slaughter
November 18, 2024

Hearst Launches Magazine Aimed at Sarcastic Runners

November 18, 2024/ Mark Remy
Hearst Launches Magazine Aimed at Sarcastic Runners

Target market described as “dedicated runners who are also total wise-asses.”

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November 18, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Media, Magazines, Sarcasm
November 15, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #117: 'Fire'

November 15, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #117: 'Fire'

Well, she could. But it would be so boring!

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November 15, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Fire, Airpods, Ear, Running with music
November 13, 2024

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Pushes to Ban Women’s Running, Citing Uterine Health

November 13, 2024/ Mark Remy
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Pushes to Ban Women’s Running, Citing Uterine Health

Controversial figure cites dubious “research.”

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November 13, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Politics, Women's running, Uterus, Plausible
November 04, 2024

Local Man Just Out For a Run, Tra-La-La, Like Everything Is Perfectly Normal

November 04, 2024/ Mark Remy
Local Man Just Out For a Run, Tra-La-La, Like Everything Is Perfectly Normal

Runner bopping along without a care in the world, sources say.

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November 04, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
News, Emotional collapse, Politics
October 30, 2024

Stylist Flummoxed by Customer Asking for ‘Runner Haircut’

October 30, 2024/ Mark Remy
Stylist Flummoxed by Customer Asking for ‘Runner Haircut’

“You know … like a runner,” customer says.

Read More
October 30, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Haircut, Flummoxed, Unclear
October 24, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #116: 'Happiness'

October 24, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #116: 'Happiness'

Save 20% with promo code GURU20!

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October 24, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Gear
Comics, Wisdom, Consumerism, Happiness
October 16, 2024

Down-on-His-Luck Runner Reduced to Begging for Kudos

October 16, 2024/ Mark Remy
Down-on-His-Luck Runner Reduced to Begging for Kudos

Fellow runners avoid eye contact as they pass forlorn man.

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October 16, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Down and out, Kudos, Begging
October 11, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #115: 'Hammer'

October 11, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #115: 'Hammer'

Runner smash!

Read More
October 11, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Motor, Ped, Hammer
October 09, 2024

‘I Don’t Care About Pace, or Mileage, or PRs, or About Life Itself, Because in the End It’s All Meaningless,’ Says Nihilist Runner

October 09, 2024/ Mark Remy
‘I Don’t Care About Pace, or Mileage, or PRs, or About Life Itself, Because in the End It’s All Meaningless,’ Says Nihilist Runner

Local man takes long view.

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October 09, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Nihilism, Existential dread, Bleakness, Futility, The void, PR, Pace, Milea
September 26, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #114: 'Vacillation'

September 26, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #114: 'Vacillation'

On the OTHER other hand...

Read More
September 26, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Motivation, Vacillation, Rest
September 25, 2024

Boston Marathon Applicant Delighted to Learn He Qualified ... for a Bank of America® Unlimited Cash Rewards Credit Card!

September 25, 2024/ Mark Remy
Boston Marathon Applicant Delighted to Learn He Qualified ... for a Bank of America® Unlimited Cash Rewards Credit Card!

Local runner characterizes messages as a "good news, bad news kind of thing.”

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September 25, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
September 18, 2024

Cybertruck Owner Thinks Local Runner’s Thumbs-Up Is Sincere

September 18, 2024/ Mark Remy
Cybertruck Owner Thinks Local Runner’s Thumbs-Up Is Sincere

Man behind wheel fails to grasp irony.

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September 18, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Thumbs up, Irony, Ha ha, Ridicule, Cybertruck, Elon Musk
September 16, 2024

Local Lumbering Oaf Takes First Place in 5K's Lumbering Oaf Division

September 16, 2024/ Mark Remy
Local Lumbering Oaf Takes First Place in 5K's Lumbering Oaf Division

Shambling man out-lumbers fellow oaf to finish line.

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September 16, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Racing, 5K, Lumbering, Oaf
September 11, 2024

Marathon Investigation Narc in Starting Corral Already Has 3 Runners on Tape Discussing Their Plans to Cheat

September 11, 2024/ Mark Remy
Marathon Investigation Narc in Starting Corral Already Has 3 Runners on Tape Discussing Their Plans to Cheat

Watchdog website's use of undercover agent pays off.

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September 11, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Cheating, Narc, Evidence
September 04, 2024

Ladies Can’t Help But Notice Local Runner’s Leg Muscles, Local Runner Imagines

September 04, 2024/ Mark Remy
Ladies Can’t Help But Notice Local Runner’s Leg Muscles, Local Runner Imagines

Man subtly flexes calves for benefit of onlookers.

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September 04, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
PR, Ladies, Racing, Attraction
August 28, 2024

Chilling Photo Captures Runners' Final Moments Before Fatal Head-On Collision

August 28, 2024/ Mark Remy
Chilling Photo Captures Runners' Final Moments Before Fatal Head-On Collision

Witnesses describe scene of "absolute horror."

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August 28, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Pedestrian safety, Fireball, Chill, Stock photos, Collision, Oh the humanity, Horror
August 19, 2024

OUTRAGE ALERT! These Runners Are Furious After a Wormhole on Their Marathon Course Sent Them Tumbling Through Space and Time Into Another Dimension Populated by Enormous Ants

August 19, 2024/ Mark Remy
OUTRAGE ALERT! These Runners Are Furious After a Wormhole on Their Marathon Course Sent Them Tumbling Through Space and Time Into Another Dimension Populated by Enormous Ants

Organizers blame “human error” for lapse.

Read More
August 19, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Outrage, Giant ants, Wormhole
August 12, 2024

IOC Faces Backlash Over Bank of America Logo on Olympic Marathon Medals

August 12, 2024/ Mark Remy
IOC Faces Backlash Over Bank of America Logo on Olympic Marathon Medals

Officials defend decision, call branding “very subtle.”

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August 12, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Olympics, Medals, Bank of America, Sponsorships, Money, Complaints, Marathons
August 05, 2024

Olympic Marathoners Annoyed That Race Website Doesn’t List Start Time

August 05, 2024/ Mark Remy
Olympic Marathoners Annoyed That Race Website Doesn’t List Start Time

“One thing every runner will actually want to know” is missing, runners complain.

Read More
August 05, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Olympics, Marathons, Web design, Annoyance
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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