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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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July 10, 2023

Local Runner Can’t Believe Doctor Didn't Mention His Low Resting Heart Rate

July 10, 2023/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Can’t Believe Doctor Didn't Mention His Low Resting Heart Rate

“Not even a raised eyebrow,” reports man.

Read More
July 10, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Heart rate, Disappointment, Wow
July 03, 2023

‘Joggers Should Wear Bright Clothing,’ Tweets Driver

July 03, 2023/ Mark Remy
‘Joggers Should Wear Bright Clothing,’ Tweets Driver

Local man shares thoughts at 45 mph.

Read More
July 03, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Motorists, Pedestrian safety, Twitter, Smartphone
June 30, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #84: 'Cup'

June 30, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #84: 'Cup'

This could go one of two ways.

Read More
June 30, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Grail, Choices, Eternal life, Cup, Carpenter
June 28, 2023

New Fitness Craze Combines Running, Listening to World Around You

June 28, 2023/ Mark Remy
New Fitness Craze Combines Running, Listening to World Around You

“I heard so much stuff.”

Read More
June 28, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Earbuds, Fads, Running with music, Podcasts, Awareness
June 20, 2023

Guy Who’s Always Late for Runs Is Late for Run

June 20, 2023/ Mark Remy
Guy Who’s Always Late for Runs Is Late for Run

Again.

Read More
June 20, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Tardiness, Group runs, Etiquette, Time management, Annoyance
June 19, 2023

Local Dog Could Not Be Happier With How Today’s Run Went

June 19, 2023/ Mark Remy
Local Dog Could Not Be Happier With How Today’s Run Went

Canine “cannot believe her good fortune.”

Read More
June 19, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Dogs, Happiness, Good boy
June 15, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #83: 'Cheap'

June 15, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #83: 'Cheap'

He can’t afford not to buy them.

Read More
June 15, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Gear
Comics, New Shoes, Money, Relationships, Cycling
June 07, 2023

Local Runner Found Guilty of Lining Up Near 7:00/Mile Banner at Half-Marathon Start When He Can’t Run Anywhere Near a 7-Minute Mile

June 07, 2023/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Found Guilty of Lining Up Near 7:00/Mile Banner at Half-Marathon Start When He Can’t Run Anywhere Near a 7-Minute Mile

Man is first to be tried under strict new law.

Read More
June 07, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Racing, Pace, Court, Guilt
June 02, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #82: 'Plan'

June 02, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #82: 'Plan'

Not all heroes wear capes. But this one does.

Read More
June 02, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Marathons, Training, Catwoman, Sub-3:00
May 30, 2023

Report: Whimpering, Twitching Man Must Be Dreaming He’s Running

May 30, 2023/ Mark Remy
Report: Whimpering, Twitching Man Must Be Dreaming He’s Running

Spouse records video of “adorable” scene.

Read More
May 30, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Napping, Couch, Dreams, Sleep, Whimpering
May 18, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #81: 'Sweat'

May 18, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #81: 'Sweat'

Maybe no one will notice.

Read More
May 18, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Lunch run, Meetings, Perspiration
May 15, 2023

Peloton Recalls 300,000 Bikes Due to Risk of Suddenly Breaking Free From Base, Zooming Forward and Crashing Through Wall, Leaving Peloton-Bike-and-Rider-Shaped Hole

May 15, 2023/ Mark Remy
Peloton Recalls 300,000 Bikes Due to Risk of Suddenly Breaking Free From Base, Zooming Forward and Crashing Through Wall, Leaving Peloton-Bike-and-Rider-Shaped Hole

At least 14 cases have been reported, company says.

Read More
May 15, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Gear, Satire
Peloton, Recall, Wall hole
May 08, 2023

‘Running Before Work Gives Me Energy All Day Long,’ Says Man Everyone Hates

May 08, 2023/ Mark Remy
‘Running Before Work Gives Me Energy All Day Long,’ Says Man Everyone Hates

“Oh, God,” says officemate. “Here he comes.”

Read More
May 08, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Guy you work with, Morning run, Hate
May 05, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #80: 'Dope'

May 05, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #80: 'Dope'

The more you know…

Read More
May 05, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
EPO, Doping, Triathlon, Online shopping
April 26, 2023

2:56 Is Local Man’s Marathon PR, Local Man Announces at 2:56

April 26, 2023/ Mark Remy
2:56 Is Local Man’s Marathon PR, Local Man Announces at 2:56

Statement met with lukewarm response.

Read More
April 26, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Watch, Marathons, PR, Lukewarm
April 24, 2023

2024 Boston Marathon Will Have Special Cheering Sections for Black Fans, B.A.A. Says

April 24, 2023/ Mark Remy
2024 Boston Marathon Will Have Special Cheering Sections for Black Fans, B.A.A. Says

Dedicated sections will be “equal” to those for whites, statement says.

Read More
April 24, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
B.A.A., Boston Marathon, Racism, Police, Plessy, Ferguson
April 21, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #79: 'Fish'

April 21, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #79: 'Fish'

Run it off.

Read More
April 21, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Injuries, Fish oil, Advice
April 18, 2023

Flustered Kipchoge Locks Self Out of Boston Airbnb

April 18, 2023/ Mark Remy
Flustered Kipchoge Locks Self Out of Boston Airbnb

Legendary marathoner can’t catch a break.

Read More
April 18, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Boston Marathon, Eliud Kipchoge, Vacation rental, Locks, Irritants
April 12, 2023

Facing Backlash, Boston Marathon Officials Insist Mascot ‘Not Hurt Permanently’ by Screw-In Horn

April 12, 2023/ Mark Remy
Facing Backlash, Boston Marathon Officials Insist Mascot ‘Not Hurt Permanently’ by Screw-In Horn

Side effects are limited to mild confusion and drooling, statement says.

Read More
April 12, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Unicorns, Boston Marathon, B.A.A., Horse, Animal cruelty, Online firestorm
April 06, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #78: 'Bear'

April 06, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #78: 'Bear'

Now who’s laughing?

Read More
April 06, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Bear, Jokes, Mauling
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    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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