Guy Who’s Always Late for Runs Is Late for Run
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A local man who is habitually late in meeting friends for group runs is late for meeting friends for a group run, Dumb Runner has learned.
Steve Colbert, 34, agreed days ago to meet three friends at 7:00 this morning for a run; as of 7:08, he still had not shown up.
“Dammit, Steve,” said Jon Batiste, 38, one of the three waiting for Colbert.
“Come on, man.”
“Come on, man,” said Jen Spyra, 33, another of the group, looking at her watch.
Baptiste and Spyra had both arrived at their predetermined meeting place at 6:52 and 6:54, respectively; Louis Cato, 35, the third runner awaiting Colbert, arrived at 7:01, apologizing for being late.
According to all three, Colbert has a long history of keeping his running partners waiting.
“I don’t think he’s ever been on time,” Spyra told Dumb Runner. “Like, ever.”
“If Steve is ‘only’ five minutes late, we cheer,” said Batiste, who added that the group had tried various ways to address Colbert’s chronic tardiness in the past.
“Once, (the three of us) decided to start giving Steve a fake meeting time,” he said. “So if we wanted to start a run at 8:00, we would tell Steve we were meeting at 7:50, figuring he would show up around 8:00, give or take, and we’d all be happy.”
That strategy worked twice, said Batiste.
“After that,” he said, “Steve caught on that the real start time was 10 minutes later than the one we were telling him, and he adjusted his schedule accordingly.”
At last report, Colbert’s companions were still waiting.
