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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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May 30, 2018

Ask Dr. Dumb: Will Ambien Make Me a Racist Runner?

May 30, 2018/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Will Ambien Make Me a Racist Runner?

The popular sleeping drug is in the news. Here’s what you need to know.

Read More
May 30, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Ambien, Racism, Current events, Pharmaceuticals, Side effects, Meds, Dr. Dumb
May 15, 2018

Jogging Robot Finds Dead Body

May 15, 2018/ Mark Remy
Jogging Robot Finds Dead Body

Discovery is grim, but also a milestone.

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May 15, 2018/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Robots, Joggers, Jogging, Boston Dynamics, Dead body
May 06, 2018

Cartoon Tortoise Fails Doping Test

May 06, 2018/ Mark Remy
Cartoon Tortoise Fails Doping Test

Fabled character is latest to test positive for banned substances.

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May 06, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Doping, Drug test, Turtle, Fables
May 02, 2018

Study: Nation's Motorists Too Busy to Look Right Before Making Right Turns

May 02, 2018/ Mark Remy
Study: Nation's Motorists Too Busy to Look Right Before Making Right Turns

Research solves a mystery that’s bedeviled pedestrians for decades.

Read More
May 02, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Motorists, Busy, Research, Safety
April 17, 2018

'I'm Never Doing This Again,' Says Man Who Will Do This Again

April 17, 2018/ Mark Remy
'I'm Never Doing This Again,' Says Man Who Will Do This Again

Marathon runner's finish-line declaration a flat-out lie.

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April 17, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Motivation
Marathons, Lies
April 12, 2018

Monument on Boston Marathon Course Marks Exact Spot Where Kathrine Switzer's Uterus Fell Out

April 12, 2018/ Mark Remy
Monument on Boston Marathon Course Marks Exact Spot Where Kathrine Switzer's Uterus Fell Out

In 1967, she became the first woman to officially run the race—but it came at a steep price.

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April 12, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Boston Marathon, Kathrine Switzer, Women's running, Uterus, Statue
April 11, 2018

Boston Marathon Forecast Calls for Bullshit Weather

April 11, 2018/ Mark Remy
Boston Marathon Forecast Calls for Bullshit Weather

Reaction among runners has not been good.

Read More
April 11, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Real
Boston Marathon, Weather, Forecast, Bullshit
April 11, 2018

Ask Dr. Dumb: Runners vs. Little Girls on Bikes

April 11, 2018/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Runners vs. Little Girls on Bikes

A legal case out of Canada offers a few lessons.

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April 11, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Real, Satire, News
Cycling, Girls, Children, Lawyer, Sue
April 09, 2018

Dave McGillivray to Personally Pick Up Every Boston Marathon Visitor at Airport

April 09, 2018/ Mark Remy
Dave McGillivray to Personally Pick Up Every Boston Marathon Visitor at Airport

"That's Dave for you," said one longtime acquaintance. "Always willing to go the extra mile.

Read More
April 09, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Dave McGillivray, Boston Marathon, Air travel
April 01, 2018

Runner's World to Replace Print Magazine With Monthly CD-ROM

April 01, 2018/ Mark Remy
Runner's World to Replace Print Magazine With Monthly CD-ROM

Industry experts applaud “bold initiative.“

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April 01, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Runner's World, CD-ROM, 1990s, Publishing, Magazines
March 18, 2018

Idiot Race Director Uses Four-Leaf Clover in Shamrock 5K Banner

March 18, 2018/ Mark Remy
Idiot Race Director Uses Four-Leaf Clover in Shamrock 5K Banner

Dozens leave event in disgust.

 

Read More
March 18, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Shamrock, Racing, 5K, Race director
March 11, 2018

New Magazine Targets Runners Plagued by Injury

March 11, 2018/ Mark Remy
New Magazine Targets Runners Plagued by Injury

Chronically Injured Runner debuts in May.

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March 11, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Injuries, Publishing, Magazines, Magazine covers, Satire
February 12, 2018

Fun Run Isn't

February 12, 2018/ Mark Remy
Fun Run Isn't

Some call noncompetitive, untimed event "the opposite of fun."

 

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February 12, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Fun run, Lack of fun, Bored
February 06, 2018

10,000m Runner Shows Up at Winter Olympics By Mistake

February 06, 2018/ Mark Remy
10,000m Runner Shows Up at Winter Olympics By Mistake

"My face is red," says Finnish athlete.

Read More
February 06, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Olympics, Mistakes, South Korea, Embarrassment
February 04, 2018

Runner Whizzing in Middle of Nowhere Apparently Afraid Someone Might See Penis

February 04, 2018/ Mark Remy
Runner Whizzing in Middle of Nowhere Apparently Afraid Someone Might See Penis

Despite total isolation, man seeks relief just inches from large bushy tree.

Read More
February 04, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Urine, Penis, Trail running, Middle of nowhere
January 31, 2018

ISIS Claims Responsibility for U.S. Military Members Being Called 'Joggers'

January 31, 2018/ Mark Remy
ISIS Claims Responsibility for U.S. Military Members Being Called 'Joggers'

Terror group says it will "stop at nothing to degrade and demean American militants who run for sport."

Read More
January 31, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Training
Strava, Military, Jogging, Joggers, ISIS, Youtube
January 15, 2018

Dog Clueless About Pace, Heart Rate, Foot Strike

January 15, 2018/ Mark Remy
Dog Clueless About Pace, Heart Rate, Foot Strike

Oblivious creature inspires pity in onlookers.

Read More
January 15, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Dogs, Pace, Heart rate, Foot strike
January 10, 2018

Running Partner Won't Shut Up About Running

January 10, 2018/ Mark Remy
Running Partner Won't Shut Up About Running

Man's conversational habits threaten a friendship.

Read More
January 10, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Running, Training, Running partner, Shut up
December 20, 2017

Ask Dr. Dumb: What's the Deal With Ghost Joggers?

December 20, 2017/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: What's the Deal With Ghost Joggers?

Yes, they are a thing, if the Stoke Sentinel is to be believed. (Which it is.)

Read More
December 20, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Real, Satire, News
Ghosts, Jogging, Paranormal, Dr. Dumb
December 11, 2017

Year in Review: Our 10 Most Popular Articles of 2017

December 11, 2017/ Mark Remy
Year in Review: Our 10 Most Popular Articles of 2017

Number 6 will blow your mind! (Not really.) (But you should read the list anyway.)

Read More
December 11, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
2017, Most Popular
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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