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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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January 13, 2025

Macabre Metaphor Lost on Elderly Runners

January 13, 2025/ Mark Remy
Macabre Metaphor Lost on Elderly Runners

Local seniors near the end.

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January 13, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Elders, Seniors, Finish Line, Metaphors, Death
January 10, 2025

Dumb Runner Illustrated #120: 'Pterodactylus'

January 10, 2025/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #120: 'Pterodactylus'

Are you ready to RAAAAWK?

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January 10, 2025/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Pterodactyls, Comi, Fantasy, Bro, Knees
January 06, 2025

‘Safety Is a Shared Responsibility,’ Says Traffic Officer Whose Tips Are Aimed 100% at Pedestrians and Cyclists

January 06, 2025/ Mark Remy
‘Safety Is a Shared Responsibility,’ Says Traffic Officer Whose Tips Are Aimed 100% at Pedestrians and Cyclists

Advice completely ignores role of people operating huge, powerful machines.

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January 06, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Pedestrian safety, Police, Traffic, Motorists, Media
January 01, 2025

Easy Morning Run Somehow Makes Hangover Worse

January 01, 2025/ Mark Remy
Easy Morning Run Somehow Makes Hangover Worse

Local woman unsure whether to give up drinking, or running, or both.

Read More
January 01, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Alcohol, Hangover, Regret
December 31, 2024

Runner Who Started Year With No Fitness Goals Ends Year Perfectly Happy

December 31, 2024/ Mark Remy
Runner Who Started Year With No Fitness Goals Ends Year Perfectly Happy

Local woman has no idea how much “progress” she’s made.

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December 31, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Training, Goals, Happiness
December 30, 2024

The 10 Most Popular Dumb Runner Articles of 2024

December 30, 2024/ Mark Remy
The 10 Most Popular Dumb Runner Articles of 2024

In a year of dumb content, these were the least objectionable.

Read More
December 30, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
2024, Most Popular, Dumb
December 20, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #119: 'Join Us'

December 20, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #119: 'Join Us'

Some of the runs are as short as eight miles!

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December 20, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Running cl, Pace, Intimidation, Begi
December 18, 2024

Report: Local Runner’s Feet Have Never Looked Better

December 18, 2024/ Mark Remy
Report: Local Runner’s Feet Have Never Looked Better

Local woman feels “ready for sandal season.”

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December 18, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Feet, Relativity, Toenails
December 16, 2024

Local Runner Deals With Holiday Weight Gain by Not Giving a Shit

December 16, 2024/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Deals With Holiday Weight Gain by Not Giving a Shit

Woman recognizes annual fluctuation as normal and not a big deal.

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December 16, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Weight, Weight gain, Weight loss, Holidays
December 11, 2024

Ex-Marathoner Lured Out of Retirement for One Final Caper

December 11, 2024/ Mark Remy
Ex-Marathoner Lured Out of Retirement for One Final Caper

Old friends tell local man, “We can’t do this without you.”

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December 11, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathon, Retirement, Caper
December 05, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #118: 'Catching Up'

December 05, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #118: 'Catching Up'

Good conversation distracts from the pain.

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December 05, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Motivation
Injuries, Running buddy, Catching up, Comics
November 27, 2024

Here's How Runners Can Dodge Trump Talk This Thanksgiving: 2024 Edition

November 27, 2024/ Mark Remy
Here's How Runners Can Dodge Trump Talk This Thanksgiving: 2024 Edition

Here we go again, folks.

Read More
November 27, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Donald Trump, Thanksgiving, Family
November 20, 2024

EXCLUSIVE: Jake Paul Set to Fight Eliud Kipchoge

November 20, 2024/ Mark Remy
EXCLUSIVE: Jake Paul Set to Fight Eliud Kipchoge

Netflix, Runner’s World team up to present test of strength vs. endurance.

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November 20, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Eliud Kipchoge, Jake Paul, Boxing, Sponsorships, Runner's World, Netflix, Slaughter
November 18, 2024

Hearst Launches Magazine Aimed at Sarcastic Runners

November 18, 2024/ Mark Remy
Hearst Launches Magazine Aimed at Sarcastic Runners

Target market described as “dedicated runners who are also total wise-asses.”

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November 18, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Media, Magazines, Sarcasm
November 15, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #117: 'Fire'

November 15, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #117: 'Fire'

Well, she could. But it would be so boring!

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November 15, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Fire, Airpods, Ear, Running with music
November 13, 2024

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Pushes to Ban Women’s Running, Citing Uterine Health

November 13, 2024/ Mark Remy
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Pushes to Ban Women’s Running, Citing Uterine Health

Controversial figure cites dubious “research.”

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November 13, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Politics, Women's running, Uterus, Plausible
November 11, 2024

SAD! This Runner Has Perfect Form, But Nobody Ever Notices

November 11, 2024/ Mark Remy
SAD! This Runner Has Perfect Form, But Nobody Ever Notices

Local man starting to wonder why he even bothers.

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November 11, 2024/ Mark Remy/
November 04, 2024

Local Man Just Out For a Run, Tra-La-La, Like Everything Is Perfectly Normal

November 04, 2024/ Mark Remy
Local Man Just Out For a Run, Tra-La-La, Like Everything Is Perfectly Normal

Runner bopping along without a care in the world, sources say.

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November 04, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
News, Emotional collapse, Politics
October 30, 2024

Stylist Flummoxed by Customer Asking for ‘Runner Haircut’

October 30, 2024/ Mark Remy
Stylist Flummoxed by Customer Asking for ‘Runner Haircut’

“You know … like a runner,” customer says.

Read More
October 30, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Haircut, Flummoxed, Unclear
October 28, 2024

Sexy Runner Dressing as Even Sexier Runner for Halloween

October 28, 2024/ Mark Remy
Sexy Runner Dressing as Even Sexier Runner for Halloween

Friends describe costume as “not a heavy lift” for local woman.

Read More
October 28, 2024/ Mark Remy/
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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