Here's How Runners Can Dodge Trump Talk This Thanksgiving: 2024 Edition
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Readers, way back in 2016 I published an article titled Here's How Runners Can Dodge Trump Talk This Thanksgiving, in which I offered various Potentially Explosive remarks followed by clever ways that runners could defuse them before they led to something ugly.
In 2021, I published an updated version, titled Here’s How Runners Can Dodge Political Talk This Thanksgiving. Same deal, but more expansive.
In 2023, I did it again, with Here's How Runners Can Dodge Trump Talk This Thanksgiving: 2023 Edition.
It’s one year later, and—HAHAHA THIS IS AWESOME!—here we are. So here you go.
Happy Thanksgiving. And good luck.
Potentially Explosive Remark: "I can’t take four more years of Trump. It’s exhausting."
Your Response: “Oh, as a runner I know a thing or two about exhaustion, ha ha! When I trained for my last race, my weekly mileage peaked at __ miles. I was tired all the time.”
Potentially Explosive Remark: “Trump is gonna eliminate the Department of Education, and I say it’s about time.”
Your Response: “Well here’s a little education for everyone: Did you know that the women’s marathon wasn’t an Olympic event until 1984? And it was won by Joan Benoit Samuelson—an American!”
Potentially Explosive Remark: “Trump’s cabinet picks are totally unqualified. The only thing they have going for them is that they’re loyal to Trump.”
Your Response: “True story: I used to think the term ‘trompe l'oeil’ was pronounced ‘tromp loyal.’ I also used to mispronounce ‘Saucony.’ And oh, hey—how do you guys pronounce a-d-i-d-a-s’? Let’s go around the table!”
Potentially Explosive Remark: “I can’t wait to get all these illegals deported.”
Your Response: “You know what should be illegal? People who line up at the front of a race with friggin’ jogging strollers. I mean, come on!”
Potentially Explosive Remark: “Trump’s tariff proposals will make inflation worse.”
Your Response: “Uh … I know I can work a ‘running economy’ comment in here somehow. Give me a sec.”
Potentially Explosive Remark: “People need to calm down about the abortion thing. Trump has said he doesn’t support a nationwide ban.”
Your Response: “Oh, you hit a nerve there! I had to abort my plans for a spring marathon earlier this year, thanks to a stupid injury only a few weeks before race day. Argh!”
Potentially Explosive Remark: “Trump is a fascist, and that’s not an opinion—it’s an objective truth. He ticks every single box of the definition.”
Your Response: “Oh my God, I just shit myself—a phenomenon you see with surprising frequency in marathon runners! Will you excuse me for a minute?”
