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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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October 24, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #116: 'Happiness'

October 24, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #116: 'Happiness'

Save 20% with promo code GURU20!

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October 24, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Gear
Comics, Wisdom, Consumerism, Happiness
October 16, 2024

Down-on-His-Luck Runner Reduced to Begging for Kudos

October 16, 2024/ Mark Remy
Down-on-His-Luck Runner Reduced to Begging for Kudos

Fellow runners avoid eye contact as they pass forlorn man.

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October 16, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Down and out, Kudos, Begging
October 11, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #115: 'Hammer'

October 11, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #115: 'Hammer'

Runner smash!

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October 11, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Motor, Ped, Hammer
October 09, 2024

‘I Don’t Care About Pace, or Mileage, or PRs, or About Life Itself, Because in the End It’s All Meaningless,’ Says Nihilist Runner

October 09, 2024/ Mark Remy
‘I Don’t Care About Pace, or Mileage, or PRs, or About Life Itself, Because in the End It’s All Meaningless,’ Says Nihilist Runner

Local man takes long view.

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October 09, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Nihilism, Existential dread, Bleakness, Futility, The void, PR, Pace, Milea
October 07, 2024

Thousands of Runners Somehow Survive Portland Marathon, Fox News Reports

October 07, 2024/ Mark Remy
Thousands of Runners Somehow Survive Portland Marathon, Fox News Reports

From 2,400 miles away, broadcaster marvels at courage of athletes.

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October 07, 2024/ Mark Remy/
September 26, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #114: 'Vacillation'

September 26, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #114: 'Vacillation'

On the OTHER other hand...

Read More
September 26, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Motivation, Vacillation, Rest
September 25, 2024

Boston Marathon Applicant Delighted to Learn He Qualified ... for a Bank of America® Unlimited Cash Rewards Credit Card!

September 25, 2024/ Mark Remy
Boston Marathon Applicant Delighted to Learn He Qualified ... for a Bank of America® Unlimited Cash Rewards Credit Card!

Local runner characterizes messages as a "good news, bad news kind of thing.”

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September 25, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
September 18, 2024

Cybertruck Owner Thinks Local Runner’s Thumbs-Up Is Sincere

September 18, 2024/ Mark Remy
Cybertruck Owner Thinks Local Runner’s Thumbs-Up Is Sincere

Man behind wheel fails to grasp irony.

Read More
September 18, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Thumbs up, Irony, Ha ha, Ridicule, Cybertruck, Elon Musk
September 16, 2024

Local Lumbering Oaf Takes First Place in 5K's Lumbering Oaf Division

September 16, 2024/ Mark Remy
Local Lumbering Oaf Takes First Place in 5K's Lumbering Oaf Division

Shambling man out-lumbers fellow oaf to finish line.

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September 16, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Racing, 5K, Lumbering, Oaf
September 12, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #113: 'Realistic Treadmill'

September 12, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #113: 'Realistic Treadmill'

But are the geese treated humanely?

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September 12, 2024/ Mark Remy/
September 11, 2024

Marathon Investigation Narc in Starting Corral Already Has 3 Runners on Tape Discussing Their Plans to Cheat

September 11, 2024/ Mark Remy
Marathon Investigation Narc in Starting Corral Already Has 3 Runners on Tape Discussing Their Plans to Cheat

Watchdog website's use of undercover agent pays off.

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September 11, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Cheating, Narc, Evidence
September 04, 2024

Ladies Can’t Help But Notice Local Runner’s Leg Muscles, Local Runner Imagines

September 04, 2024/ Mark Remy
Ladies Can’t Help But Notice Local Runner’s Leg Muscles, Local Runner Imagines

Man subtly flexes calves for benefit of onlookers.

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September 04, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
PR, Ladies, Racing, Attraction
August 29, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #112: 'BINGO'

August 29, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #112: 'BINGO'

Who says they have to be boring?

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August 29, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
BINGO, Marathons, Comics
August 28, 2024

Chilling Photo Captures Runners' Final Moments Before Fatal Head-On Collision

August 28, 2024/ Mark Remy
Chilling Photo Captures Runners' Final Moments Before Fatal Head-On Collision

Witnesses describe scene of "absolute horror."

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August 28, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Pedestrian safety, Fireball, Chill, Stock photos, Collision, Oh the humanity, Horror
August 19, 2024

OUTRAGE ALERT! These Runners Are Furious After a Wormhole on Their Marathon Course Sent Them Tumbling Through Space and Time Into Another Dimension Populated by Enormous Ants

August 19, 2024/ Mark Remy
OUTRAGE ALERT! These Runners Are Furious After a Wormhole on Their Marathon Course Sent Them Tumbling Through Space and Time Into Another Dimension Populated by Enormous Ants

Organizers blame “human error” for lapse.

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August 19, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Outrage, Giant ants, Wormhole
August 15, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #111: 'Early'

August 15, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #111: 'Early'

Actually, it’s already past his bedtime.

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August 15, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Comics, Early bird, Training, Wee hours
August 12, 2024

IOC Faces Backlash Over Bank of America Logo on Olympic Marathon Medals

August 12, 2024/ Mark Remy
IOC Faces Backlash Over Bank of America Logo on Olympic Marathon Medals

Officials defend decision, call branding “very subtle.”

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August 12, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Olympics, Medals, Bank of America, Sponsorships, Money, Complaints, Marathons
August 12, 2024

Kipchoge Retires From Running to Pursue Lifelong Dream of Playing Drums in a Rush Tribute Band

August 12, 2024/ Mark Remy
Kipchoge Retires From Running to Pursue Lifelong Dream of Playing Drums in a Rush Tribute Band

Marathon legend is “no Neil Peart,” but vows to chase his dream.

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August 12, 2024/ Mark Remy/
August 06, 2024

Lonely Runner Wishes HE Had a Running Mate to Announce

August 06, 2024/ Mark Remy
Lonely Runner Wishes HE Had a Running Mate to Announce

Lack of partner leaves local man sad.

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August 06, 2024/ Mark Remy/
August 05, 2024

Olympic Marathoners Annoyed That Race Website Doesn’t List Start Time

August 05, 2024/ Mark Remy
Olympic Marathoners Annoyed That Race Website Doesn’t List Start Time

“One thing every runner will actually want to know” is missing, runners complain.

Read More
August 05, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Olympics, Marathons, Web design, Annoyance
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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