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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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August 16, 2021

Woman Who Just DNF’d Her First Marathon Figures She Has Nothing Left to Prove

August 16, 2021/ Mark Remy
Woman Who Just DNF’d Her First Marathon Figures She Has Nothing Left to Prove

Local runner crosses “attempt marathon” off her bucket list.

Read More
August 16, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Marathons, DNF, Quitting, Goals, Ice cream
August 04, 2021

Ironman Finisher Goes 5 Days Without Mentioning It, Shattering Previous Record

August 04, 2021/ Mark Remy
Ironman Finisher Goes 5 Days Without Mentioning It, Shattering Previous Record

Local man sets a high bar for fellow triathletes.

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August 04, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Ironman, Triathlon, Talk, Shut up, Racing
July 30, 2021

Dumb Runner Illustrated #23: 'Dread'

July 30, 2021/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #23: 'Dread'

It’s funny ’cause it’s true.

Read More
July 30, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Treadmill, Dread, Running humor, Comedy, TWSS
July 28, 2021

Local Man Not Sure Whether Pain From Running or Just Being Old

July 28, 2021/ Mark Remy
Local Man Not Sure Whether Pain From Running or Just Being Old

Definitive answer remains elusive for longtime runner.

Read More
July 28, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Pain, Aging, Mysteries, Seniors
July 26, 2021

Nun Running Marathon Has Surprisingly Foul Mouth

July 26, 2021/ Mark Remy
Nun Running Marathon Has Surprisingly Foul Mouth

Language deteriorates over the course of the race.

Read More
July 26, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Nun, Foul language, Surprise
July 22, 2021

Dumb Runner Illustrated #22: 'Heartbreak'

July 22, 2021/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #22: 'Heartbreak'

Just when you think you know someone.

Read More
July 22, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Dating, Shoes, Heartbreak
July 19, 2021

Louisiana’s ‘Broken Bridge 10K’ Claims 39 More Victims

July 19, 2021/ Mark Remy
Louisiana’s ‘Broken Bridge 10K’ Claims 39 More Victims

Weekend fatalities push event’s 25-year death toll past 1,000.

Read More
July 19, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Florida, 10K, Road race, Bri, Death
July 16, 2021

Dumb Runner Illustrated #21: 'Emergency'

July 16, 2021/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #21: 'Emergency'

You wouldn’t like me when I’m hangry.

Read More
July 16, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Food, Hangry, 911
July 12, 2021

Local Runners Protest Olympic Cannabis Ban by Sitting on Roof, Getting Totally Baked

July 12, 2021/ Mark Remy
Local Runners Protest Olympic Cannabis Ban by Sitting on Roof, Getting Totally Baked

Friends register their outrage over sprinter’s suspension.

Read More
July 12, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Doping, Cannabis, Marijuana, Baked, Runner's high, Olympics
July 05, 2021

Coyote Attacks on Runners Getting More Sophisticated, Warns National Park Service

July 05, 2021/ Mark Remy
Coyote Attacks on Runners Getting More Sophisticated, Warns National Park Service

Trompe-l'œil tunnels, falling anvils worry officials.

Read More
July 05, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Injuries, Coyotes, National Parks, Trompe-l'œil
July 02, 2021

Orange-Fingered Runner Tests Positive for Flamin’ Hot® Cheese Flavor

July 02, 2021/ Mark Remy
Orange-Fingered Runner Tests Positive for Flamin’ Hot® Cheese Flavor

One-month suspension sparks furor among fans.

Read More
July 02, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Doping, Track meets, Furor, Social media, Drug test, Flamin' Hot
July 01, 2021

Dumb Runner Illustrated #20: 'Legend'

July 01, 2021/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #20: 'Legend'

Stop. You’re killing me.

Read More
July 01, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Comics, Pheidippides, Clichés, Legends
June 30, 2021

High School Runner Loses Shoe 1 Mile From Finish Line and Quits, Because What’s He Supposed to Do? Run With Just One Shoe?

June 30, 2021/ Mark Remy
High School Runner Loses Shoe 1 Mile From Finish Line and Quits, Because What’s He Supposed to Do? Run With Just One Shoe?

Teen figured he had “literally no other option.”

Read More
June 30, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Motivation, Satire
Track meets, Track, Shoes
June 28, 2021

Simone Biles Emerges as Surprise Winner of Women’s 10,000m at Olympic Track Trials

June 28, 2021/ Mark Remy
Simone Biles Emerges as Surprise Winner of Women’s 10,000m at Olympic Track Trials

Even outside her discipline, champion gymnast continues to amaze.

Read More
June 28, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Olympics, Track meets, Simone Biles, 5000m
June 21, 2021

Fully Attentive Drivers Theoretically Possible, New Research Suggests

June 21, 2021/ Mark Remy
Fully Attentive Drivers Theoretically Possible, New Research Suggests

Computer modeling produces images of motorist with eyes ahead, both hands on wheel.

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June 21, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
3D, Motorists, Distraction, Pedestrian safety, Science
June 16, 2021

Homophobe Horrified to Learn Fellow Runners Think He’s Celebrating Pride Month

June 16, 2021/ Mark Remy
Homophobe Horrified to Learn Fellow Runners Think He’s Celebrating Pride Month

For local man, shirt conveys an unintended message.

Read More
June 16, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Rainbows, Pride, Homophobes
June 14, 2021

Proposed Auto-Safety Feature Would Keep Pedestrians, Cyclists Away With Painful Ultrasonic Waves

June 14, 2021/ Mark Remy
Proposed Auto-Safety Feature Would Keep Pedestrians, Cyclists Away With Painful Ultrasonic Waves

“Excruciating” sensation would encourage vulnerable road user to stay away.

Read More
June 14, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Pedestrian safety, Motorists, Auto industry, Cycling, Traffic
June 10, 2021

Dumb Runner Illustrated #19: 'Whisper'

June 10, 2021/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #19: 'Whisper'

Some truths are too dangerous to be uttered aloud.

Read More
June 10, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Comics, Virtual race, Marathons, Race director
June 09, 2021

Company Name a Real Misnomer, Local Runner Finds

June 09, 2021/ Mark Remy
Company Name a Real Misnomer, Local Runner Finds

“Nothing sweet about it,” says user of portable toilet.

Read More
June 09, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Porta potty, Misnomer, Poop
June 03, 2021

Dumb Runner Illustrated #18: 'Sticker'

June 03, 2021/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #18: 'Sticker'

Sooner or later, your past will catch up to you.

Read More
June 03, 2021/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Marathons, Police, Motorists, Stickers, 26.2, Misrepresentation
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    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
    • "C is for Chafing" picture book
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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