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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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January 08, 2024

Sex the Night Before a Marathon Is Fine, Says National Association of Horny Marathoners

January 08, 2024/ Mark Remy
Sex the Night Before a Marathon Is Fine, Says National Association of Horny Marathoners

“In fact, it’s great,” group reports.

Read More
January 08, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Sex, Marathons, Research, Hot action
January 03, 2024

Local Kid Doesn’t Need This Kind of Pressure

January 03, 2024/ Mark Remy
Local Kid Doesn’t Need This Kind of Pressure

Toddler has enough to deal with, sources say.

Read More
January 03, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Baby, Marathons, Pressure, Parenthood, Family
December 27, 2023

The Most Popular Dumb Runner Articles of 2023

December 27, 2023/ Mark Remy
The Most Popular Dumb Runner Articles of 2023

For reasons known only to you, here’s what you liked.

Read More
December 27, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
2023, Most Popular
December 22, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #95: 'Misfits'

December 22, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #95: 'Misfits'

WE’RE ALL MISFITS.

Read More
December 22, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Gear
Christmas, Gear, Nostalgia, Misfits, Lost, Jelly
December 07, 2023

Dumb Runner Field Guide #4: How to Wear Brand-New Running Shoes

December 07, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Field Guide #4: How to Wear Brand-New Running Shoes

Might as well jump.

Read More
December 07, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Dumb Runner Field Guide, New Shoes, Mud runs, Ballet
December 06, 2023

Marathon Investigation Agents Capture Local Runner in Predawn Raid

December 06, 2023/ Mark Remy
Marathon Investigation Agents Capture Local Runner in Predawn Raid

Alleged race cheat’s shoes, phone, and laptop are seized.

Read More
December 06, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Cheating, Marathon Investigator, Predawn raid
December 01, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #94: 'Model'

December 01, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #94: 'Model'

You’ll buy it, but you won’t like it.

Read More
December 01, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Running shoes, Shoes, New Shoes, Consumerism, Annoyance
November 29, 2023

Striking Runners Demand Shorter Hours, Better Running Conditions

November 29, 2023/ Mark Remy
Striking Runners Demand Shorter Hours, Better Running Conditions

Endurance athletes ride wave of pro-union sentiment.

Read More
November 29, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Unions, Labor, Strike
November 15, 2023

Here's How Runners Can Dodge Trump Talk This Thanksgiving: 2023 Edition

November 15, 2023/ Mark Remy
Here's How Runners Can Dodge Trump Talk This Thanksgiving: 2023 Edition

He’s still around! Ha ha! Isn’t that great?

Read More
November 15, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Donald Trump, Thanksgiving, Socially awkward, Family
November 13, 2023

Local Dog’s Race Photos Way Better Than Yours

November 13, 2023/ Mark Remy
Local Dog’s Race Photos Way Better Than Yours

“Like, by a lot,” says source.

Read More
November 13, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Race photos, Dogs, Racing, Good boy
November 08, 2023

‘I Race to Compete With Myself,’ Says Man Who, Days Ago, Almost Puked Trying to Beat Total Stranger to Finish Line at Local 5K

November 08, 2023/ Mark Remy
‘I Race to Compete With Myself,’ Says Man Who, Days Ago, Almost Puked Trying to Beat Total Stranger to Finish Line at Local 5K

Local runner was vying for 67th place.

Read More
November 08, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Racing, Goals, Competition, Self awareness
October 30, 2023

City's Weirdos Excited for NYC Marathon Weekend

October 30, 2023/ Mark Remy
City's Weirdos Excited for NYC Marathon Weekend

"I look forward to it all year," says filthy guy dressed as wizard in Times Square.

Read More
October 30, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
New York City Marathon, Weirdos, NYC
October 27, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #93: 'STOP'

October 27, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #93: 'STOP'

The return of Super Runner Lady!

Read More
October 27, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Super Runner Lady, Dumb Runner Illustrated, Comics, Pedestrian safety
October 25, 2023

Ask Dr. Dumb: Can Drivers Honk at Me While I’m Jogging?

October 25, 2023/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Can Drivers Honk at Me While I’m Jogging?

Great news: No, they can’t!

Read More
October 25, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Motorists, Honking, Dr. Dumb, Laws
October 23, 2023

7 Dumb Runner Halloween Costumes That Absolutely Nobody Will Get: 2023 Edition

October 23, 2023/ Mark Remy
7 Dumb Runner Halloween Costumes That Absolutely Nobody Will Get: 2023 Edition

Don’t have an incredibly esoteric costume yet? Relax, I got you!

Read More
October 23, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Costumes, Halloween, Trick or treat, Esoterica
October 19, 2023

Dumb Runner Field Guide #2: How to Greet Fellow Runners

October 19, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Field Guide #2: How to Greet Fellow Runners

Sometimes, communication is a one-way street.

Read More
October 19, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Dumb Runner Field Guide, Etiquette, Greetings
October 18, 2023

What You Need to Know About the 2023 New York City Marathon, From a Pathological Liar

October 18, 2023/ Mark Remy
What You Need to Know About the 2023 New York City Marathon, From a Pathological Liar

The popular Thanksgiving Day event expects a field of 640,000.

Read More
October 18, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
New York City Marathon, Pathological lying
October 12, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #92: 'Shattered'

October 12, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #92: 'Shattered'

Try changing “iteration” to “version.”

Read More
October 12, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Gear
Comics, Shoes, Gear, World Record, Marathons, Media, Journalism, Verbs
October 11, 2023

Report: Kelvin Kiptum Telling People He Ran '2-Hour Marathon,' Leaving Out the '35 Seconds' Part

October 11, 2023/ Mark Remy
Report: Kelvin Kiptum Telling People He Ran '2-Hour Marathon,' Leaving Out the '35 Seconds' Part

Rounding down “not cool,” experts say.

Read More
October 11, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Kelvin Kiptum, Marathons, World Record, PR, Etiquette
September 29, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #91: 'Essentials'

September 29, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #91: 'Essentials'

This is why you make a list.

Read More
September 29, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Gear
Comics, Gear, New runners, Consumerism, Dammit
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    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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