Here's How Runners Can Dodge Trump Talk This Thanksgiving: 2023 Edition
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Readers, way back in 2016—remember 2016?—I published an article titled Here's How Runners Can Dodge Trump Talk This Thanksgiving, in which I offered various Potentially Explosive remarks followed by clever ways that runners could defuse them before they led to something ugly.
In 2021, I published an updated version, titled Here’s How Runners Can Dodge Political Talk This Thanksgiving. Same deal, but more expansive.
Now it’s 2023 and here we are! With these articles just as relevant as ever! ISN’T IT WONDERFUL!?! Ha ha ha! Everything is so normal and good, and I am happy!
Anyway, here is yet another version, tailored to more recent political developments.
Happy Thanksgiving. And good luck.
Potentially Explosive Remark: "I’ve lost track of all the trials Trump is involved in."
Your Response: “Speaking of trials, the U.S. Olympic Marathon Trials will be in Orlando next year, and they originally wanted to start at noon! Can you imagine how hot that would have been? What genius made that decision, right?”
Potentially Explosive Remark: "All of these legal issues he’s facing are B.S., made up by the Biden Department of Injustice."
Your Response: “The word legal is interesting. You guys ever hear of these ‘super’ running shoes? Crazy stack heights, carbon plates, and stuff? Some of them are so wacky, they’re ‘illegal’ to wear in races. What do you guys think?”
Potentially Explosive Remark: "Trump and his whole family are criminals."
Your Response: “I’ll tell you what’s criminal: What they’re charging for races these days! Like, $120 for a half-marathon? Seriously?”
Potentially Explosive Remark: “Judges keep giving Trump these gag orders, because I guess the First Amendment doesn’t apply to Republicans.”
Your Response: “True story: I nearly gagged when I took a swig of Gatorade in this 5K I did a while back. The lemon-lime flavor? Whoever made that stuff mixed it WAY too strong. I mean, it was like syrup. Ugh.”
Potentially Explosive Remark: “Trump called his opponents ‘vermin,’ and his spokesperson said their ‘entire existence will be crushed when President Trump returns to the White House.’”
Your Response: ”You know what I recently crushed? My last half-marathon! Wait a sec, let me read you my splits…”
Potentially Explosive Remark: “Trump is a fascist.”
Your Response: “Oh, here’s something funny: Back when I first started running, I thought plantar fasciitis was pronounced plantar fascist. Ha! I’ll tell you what, though—there’s nothing amusing about plantar fasciitis. Nope. Do not recommend.”
Potentially Explosive Remark: “Trump was the best president in our nation’s history.”
Your Response: “HEY, LET’S TALK ABOUT RUNNING!”
