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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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    • NEW BOOK! "The Running Dictionary"
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January 26, 2026

Local Man Runs Mainly to Prepare for Possibility That He May Someday Be Released on Remote Private Island and Hunted for Sport

January 26, 2026/ Mark Remy
Local Man Runs Mainly to Prepare for Possibility That He May Someday Be Released on Remote Private Island and Hunted for Sport

General health and fitness take a backseat to surviving hypothetical scenario.

Read More
January 26, 2026/ Mark Remy/
January 23, 2026

Dumb Runner Illustrated #145: ‘Exclusive’

January 23, 2026/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #145: ‘Exclusive’

Sometimes, running is bad for your heart.

Read More
January 23, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Running partner, Heartbreak, Comics
January 22, 2026

Marathon Website Fails to Mention Shitty 7-Mile Stretch of Course on Remote Multi-Use Path

January 22, 2026/ Mark Remy
Marathon Website Fails to Mention Shitty 7-Mile Stretch of Course on Remote Multi-Use Path

Desolate out-and-back is conspicuously absent from promotional photos.

Read More
January 22, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Marketing, Bleakness, Rocky and Bullwinkle
January 20, 2026

Report: 70% of Partner Stretches Lead to Super-Hot Sex

January 20, 2026/ Mark Remy
Report: 70% of Partner Stretches Lead to Super-Hot Sex

Study authors surprised by sexy findings.

Read More
January 20, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Yoga, Hot, Sex, Flexibility
January 14, 2026

Goth Marathoner Struggles to Reconcile Joy of Running With Aesthetic of Sullen, Macabre Darkness

January 14, 2026/ Mark Remy
Goth Marathoner Struggles to Reconcile Joy of Running With Aesthetic of Sullen, Macabre Darkness

Runner’s high clashes with overall vibe of theatrical melancholy.

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January 14, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Goth, Aesthetic sensibilities, Runner's high, Enjoyment, Dissonance
January 08, 2026

Dumb Runner Illustrated #144: ‘Answers’

January 08, 2026/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #144: ‘Answers’

That driver wasn’t curious at all!

Read More
January 08, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Pedestrian safety, Motorists, Bird, Get off the road, Anger
January 07, 2026

‘This Isn’t So Bad,’ Says Runner Who Has Taken Self-Deception to a Magical New Place

January 07, 2026/ Mark Remy
‘This Isn’t So Bad,’ Says Runner Who Has Taken Self-Deception to a Magical New Place

“Could be worse,” delusional man repeatedly tells self.

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January 07, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Winter, Ice beard, Self deception, Delirium, Delusion, Bad weather
January 05, 2026

Fast Runner, Slow Runner Somehow Make Relationship Work

January 05, 2026/ Mark Remy
Fast Runner, Slow Runner Somehow Make Relationship Work

Mismatched couple find a way to bridge differences.

Read More
January 05, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Relationships, Fast runners, Slow runners, Couple, Dating, Pace
December 23, 2025

The 10 Most Popular Dumb Runner Articles of 2025

December 23, 2025/ Mark Remy
The 10 Most Popular Dumb Runner Articles of 2025

Here’s what you weirdos liked most this year.

Read More
December 23, 2025/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
2025, Most Popular, Dumb
December 22, 2025

Student Driver Hits Student Runner

December 22, 2025/ Mark Remy
Student Driver Hits Student Runner

Instructor takes off one point.

Read More
December 22, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Pedestrian safety, Motorists, Whoops
December 18, 2025

Dumb Runner Illustrated #143: 'Go'

December 18, 2025/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #143: 'Go'

Putting the “pee” in PR.

Read More
December 18, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, PR, Pee, Diapers, Puns
December 17, 2025

Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Be Worried About Peeing ‘Blood’?

December 17, 2025/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Be Worried About Peeing ‘Blood’?

Yes. Yes, you “should.”

Read More
December 17, 2025/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Dr. Dumb, Pee, Blood, Medical advice, Social media
December 15, 2025

Semiconscious Woman Makes Strong Case for Skipping Morning Run

December 15, 2025/ Mark Remy
Semiconscious Woman Makes Strong Case for Skipping Morning Run

Local runner decides to stay put.

Read More
December 15, 2025/ Mark Remy/
December 08, 2025

Freezing, Exhausted Runner Told to Go to Dagobah System

December 08, 2025/ Mark Remy
Freezing, Exhausted Runner Told to Go to Dagobah System

Delirious woman makes mental note.

Read More
December 08, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Training
Winter, Snow, Delirium, Star Wars, Obi Wan Kenobi, Dagobah
December 04, 2025

Dumb Runner Illustrated #142: 'Interrogation'

December 04, 2025/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #142: 'Interrogation'

Also, he traipsed down some stairs, no problem.

Read More
December 04, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Police, Interrogation, Busted, Recovery
December 03, 2025

‘Nice View,’ Says Asexual Man Running Behind Woman, Referring to Gorgeous Seascape

December 03, 2025/ Mark Remy
‘Nice View,’ Says Asexual Man Running Behind Woman, Referring to Gorgeous Seascape

Natural beauty elicits sincere admiration.

Read More
December 03, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Nature, Beauty, View, Respect, Gender equity
December 01, 2025

Running Bad for Your Health, Says Sedentary Relative Well on His Way to Second Heart Attack

December 01, 2025/ Mark Remy
Running Bad for Your Health, Says Sedentary Relative Well on His Way to Second Heart Attack

Cousin cites something he saw online, plus “common sense.”

Read More
December 01, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Sedentary, Hidden Health Risks, Relatives, Unsolicited advice
November 26, 2025

Report: Canadian Runner Is Sorry

November 26, 2025/ Mark Remy
Report: Canadian Runner Is Sorry

Apologies offered in broad variety of situations.

Read More
November 26, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Canada, Sorry
November 24, 2025

Local Owl Really Beating Self Up for Thinking Ponytail Was Some Sort of Prey

November 24, 2025/ Mark Remy
Local Owl Really Beating Self Up for Thinking Ponytail Was Some Sort of Prey

In hindsight, bouncing bunch of hair looks nothing like a rodent.

Read More
November 24, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Ponytail, Owls, Haircut, Predator
November 17, 2025

Emotionally Numb Runner Does 12x400 Track Workout Just to Feel Something

November 17, 2025/ Mark Remy
Emotionally Numb Runner Does 12x400 Track Workout Just to Feel Something

Desired effect kicks in almost immediately.

Read More
November 17, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Training
Track, Emotional collapse, Current events, Masochism
  • Next
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  • Running 101/
  • SHOP/
    • NEW BOOK! "The Running Dictionary"
    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
    • "C is for Chafing" picture book
    • "The Runner's Rule Book"
    • 2026 Wall Calendar
  • Support Dumb Runner/
  • INFO/
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  • SEARCH/

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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