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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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May 22, 2025

Dumb Runner Illustrated #129: 'Recovery'

May 22, 2025/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #129: 'Recovery'

Take a hike, Brian—and then recover from that hike!

Read More
May 22, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Recovery, Marketing, Ma, Brian, Comics
May 21, 2025

Local Runner Grateful for Little Wave From Motorist Who Nearly Hit Her

May 21, 2025/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Grateful for Little Wave From Motorist Who Nearly Hit Her

Woman appreciates feeble gesture.

Read More
May 21, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Pedestrian safety, Motorists, Distraction, Smartphone
May 19, 2025

American Runner Bound for Canada Happy About Favorable Mile/Kilometer Exchange Rate

May 19, 2025/ Mark Remy
American Runner Bound for Canada Happy About Favorable Mile/Kilometer Exchange Rate

Local man intends to “load up on long runs” during visit.

Read More
May 19, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Canada, Metric system, Exchange rate, Travel
May 14, 2025

Runner Has Ironman Calf Tattoo of Runner With Ironman Calf Tattoo

May 14, 2025/ Mark Remy
Runner Has Ironman Calf Tattoo of Runner With Ironman Calf Tattoo

Meta image shared on Meta social media platforms.

Read More
May 14, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Tattoos, Ironman, Irony
May 12, 2025

SAD! This Woman Has Hundreds of Mid-Run Selfies But Isn’t on Social Media So All She Can Do Is Walk Around Showing Them to People on Her Phone

May 12, 2025/ Mark Remy
SAD! This Woman Has Hundreds of Mid-Run Selfies But Isn’t on Social Media So All She Can Do Is Walk Around Showing Them to People on Her Phone

Strangers show little interest in local runner’s photos.

Read More
May 12, 2025/ Mark Remy/
May 08, 2025

Dumb Runner Illustrated #128: 'Break'

May 08, 2025/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #128: 'Break'

You are not alone.

Read More
May 08, 2025/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Comics, Insanity, Current events, Coping mechanism, Friends, Politics
May 07, 2025

Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Worry About Psycho Ostriches?

May 07, 2025/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Worry About Psycho Ostriches?

Short answer: Absolutely.

Read More
May 07, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Dr. Dumb, Ostriches, Worry, Anxiety, Threats, Qu'est-ce que c'est?
May 05, 2025

Trump Signs Executive Order Barring Triathlon Transitions

May 05, 2025/ Mark Remy
Trump Signs Executive Order Barring Triathlon Transitions

New directive flummoxes athletes and event directors alike.

Read More
May 05, 2025/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Triathlon, Donald Trump, Executive orders
April 30, 2025

Local Jogger Getting Pretty Good at Guessing Time and Manner of Death

April 30, 2025/ Mark Remy
Local Jogger Getting Pretty Good at Guessing Time and Manner of Death

Self-taught expert says she can spot blunt-force trauma from 20 feet away.

Read More
April 30, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Joggers, Dead body, Death, Blunt-force trauma
April 28, 2025

New Signs Will Alert Drivers to Intersections Where They Really Do Need to Stop

April 28, 2025/ Mark Remy
New Signs Will Alert Drivers to Intersections Where They Really Do Need to Stop

“Really Red” traffic light may be next, officials say.

Read More
April 28, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Pedestrian safety, Stop signs, Motorists
April 24, 2025

Dumb Runner Illustrated #127: 'Foul'

April 24, 2025/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #127: 'Foul'

Just watch your step.

Read More
April 24, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Foul, Mara, Racing
April 16, 2025

Report: Boston-Bound Runner Is All ‘Hopkinton This’ and ‘Wellesley That,’ Blah Blah Blah

April 16, 2025/ Mark Remy
Report: Boston-Bound Runner Is All ‘Hopkinton This’ and ‘Wellesley That,’ Blah Blah Blah

List of marathon-related references nearly exhausted.

Read More
April 16, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Boston Marathon, Hopkinton, Wellesley
April 14, 2025

Running a Marathon Turns Your Brain Awesome, Researchers Find

April 14, 2025/ Mark Remy
Running a Marathon Turns Your Brain Awesome, Researchers Find

Awesomeness levels nearly quintuple after just one marathon, study finds.

Read More
April 14, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Research, Aweomeness, Brains
April 10, 2025

Dumb Runner Illustrated #126: 'Half'

April 10, 2025/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #126: 'Half'

But you didn’t hear it from me.

Read More
April 10, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Half-marathon, Racing, Comics, Watercooler
April 09, 2025

Local Runner Blames Poor Marathon Performance on DEI

April 09, 2025/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Blames Poor Marathon Performance on DEI

Link remains unclear.

Read More
April 09, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Blame, DEI
April 02, 2025

Deceased Runner Drowned in Own Data, Autopsy Finds

April 02, 2025/ Mark Remy
Deceased Runner Drowned in Own Data, Autopsy Finds

Fitness stats and data “just too much” for local man, says medical examiner.

Read More
April 02, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Data, Death, Autopsy, Garmin, Strava
March 31, 2025

Indecisive Runner Causes Quarter-Mile Backup at Marathon Aid Station

March 31, 2025/ Mark Remy
Indecisive Runner Causes Quarter-Mile Backup at Marathon Aid Station

“They all look so good,” says dithering man. 

Read More
March 31, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Aid station, Water, Cup, Indecision, Backup, Marathons
March 20, 2025

Final Two Runners at Barkley Marathons Forced to Engage in Kirk-vs.-Spock-Style Fight to Death

March 20, 2025/ Mark Remy
Final Two Runners at Barkley Marathons Forced to Engage in Kirk-vs.-Spock-Style Fight to Death

Hyper-dramatic music adds element of suspense.

Read More
March 20, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
March 17, 2025

‘I Can’t Run Without Music,’ Says Man Who Labels Self UNSTOPPABLE

March 17, 2025/ Mark Remy
‘I Can’t Run Without Music,’ Says Man Who Labels Self UNSTOPPABLE

Contradiction eludes self-styled badass.

Read More
March 17, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Motivation, Badass, Running with music, Tough
March 10, 2025

Trump Announces 25% Tariffs on Kudos From Canada and Mexico

March 10, 2025/ Mark Remy
Trump Announces 25% Tariffs on Kudos From Canada and Mexico

No one sure how this will work.

Read More
March 10, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Strava, Kudos, Donald Trump, Tariffs
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    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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