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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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    • NEW BOOK! "The Running Dictionary"
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February 17, 2026

No Finishers at 2026 Barkley Marathons as Earth Opens Its Mouth to Swallow Shrieking Participants Into the Realm of the Dead Before Closing Over Them Forever

February 17, 2026/ Mark Remy
No Finishers at 2026 Barkley Marathons as Earth Opens Its Mouth to Swallow Shrieking Participants Into the Realm of the Dead Before Closing Over Them Forever

“The course wins again” as runners perish in biblical fashion.

Read More
February 17, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Barkley Marathons, Biblical, Bowels of the earth
February 16, 2026

Minnesota Native Takes Gold in Long-Run-on-Snow-Covered-Ice Event at Winter Olympics

February 16, 2026/ Mark Remy
Minnesota Native Takes Gold in Long-Run-on-Snow-Covered-Ice Event at Winter Olympics

African runners languish in brutal conditions.

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February 16, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Minnesota, Olympics, Cold, Snow, Ice, Winter
February 11, 2026

Local Man Pops Out for Gallon of Milk in Vehicle the Size of Studio Apartment

February 11, 2026/ Mark Remy
Local Man Pops Out for Gallon of Milk in Vehicle the Size of Studio Apartment

Bloated vehicle sprawls across two parking spaces.

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February 11, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Pedestrian safety, Motorists, Traffic, Milk, Trucks
February 09, 2026

TRAGIC! He Sold His Marathon Medals to Buy His Wife a Set of Combs; She Sold Her Hair to Buy Him a Medal Display Rack

February 09, 2026/ Mark Remy
TRAGIC! He Sold His Marathon Medals to Buy His Wife a Set of Combs; She Sold Her Hair to Buy Him a Medal Display Rack

Cosmic irony strikes cash-strapped couple.

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February 09, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Irony, Tragedy, Gifts, Couple, Magi
February 06, 2026

Dumb Runner Illustrated #146: ‘Eyes’

February 06, 2026/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #146: ‘Eyes’

And yes, they’re real.

Read More
February 06, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Gear
Comics, Ogling, Running shoes
February 05, 2026

Report: Weeping Runner Has Either Run Too Far, or Not Far Enough

February 05, 2026/ Mark Remy
Report: Weeping Runner Has Either Run Too Far, or Not Far Enough

Source of woman’s sadness remains a mystery.

Read More
February 05, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Weeping, Crying, Distance, Emotional collapse
February 02, 2026

Badly Hungover Runner About to Learn He Registered for 50-Miler Last Night

February 02, 2026/ Mark Remy
Badly Hungover Runner About to Learn He Registered for 50-Miler Last Night

Nonrefundable entry fee expected to compound man’s headache.

Read More
February 02, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Alcohol, Hangover, Bad ideas, Ultras, Regret
January 26, 2026

Local Man Runs Mainly to Prepare for Possibility That He May Someday Be Released on Remote Private Island and Hunted for Sport

January 26, 2026/ Mark Remy
Local Man Runs Mainly to Prepare for Possibility That He May Someday Be Released on Remote Private Island and Hunted for Sport

General health and fitness take a backseat to surviving hypothetical scenario.

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January 26, 2026/ Mark Remy/
January 23, 2026

Dumb Runner Illustrated #145: ‘Exclusive’

January 23, 2026/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #145: ‘Exclusive’

Sometimes, running is bad for your heart.

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January 23, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Running partner, Heartbreak, Comics
January 22, 2026

Marathon Website Fails to Mention Shitty 7-Mile Stretch of Course on Remote Multi-Use Path

January 22, 2026/ Mark Remy
Marathon Website Fails to Mention Shitty 7-Mile Stretch of Course on Remote Multi-Use Path

Desolate out-and-back is conspicuously absent from promotional photos.

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January 22, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Marketing, Bleakness, Rocky and Bullwinkle
January 20, 2026

Report: 70% of Partner Stretches Lead to Super-Hot Sex

January 20, 2026/ Mark Remy
Report: 70% of Partner Stretches Lead to Super-Hot Sex

Study authors surprised by sexy findings.

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January 20, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Yoga, Hot, Sex, Flexibility
January 14, 2026

Goth Marathoner Struggles to Reconcile Joy of Running With Aesthetic of Sullen, Macabre Darkness

January 14, 2026/ Mark Remy
Goth Marathoner Struggles to Reconcile Joy of Running With Aesthetic of Sullen, Macabre Darkness

Runner’s high clashes with overall vibe of theatrical melancholy.

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January 14, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Goth, Aesthetic sensibilities, Runner's high, Enjoyment, Dissonance
January 08, 2026

Dumb Runner Illustrated #144: ‘Answers’

January 08, 2026/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #144: ‘Answers’

That driver wasn’t curious at all!

Read More
January 08, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Pedestrian safety, Motorists, Bird, Get off the road, Anger
January 07, 2026

‘This Isn’t So Bad,’ Says Runner Who Has Taken Self-Deception to a Magical New Place

January 07, 2026/ Mark Remy
‘This Isn’t So Bad,’ Says Runner Who Has Taken Self-Deception to a Magical New Place

“Could be worse,” delusional man repeatedly tells self.

Read More
January 07, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Winter, Ice beard, Self deception, Delirium, Delusion, Bad weather
January 05, 2026

Fast Runner, Slow Runner Somehow Make Relationship Work

January 05, 2026/ Mark Remy
Fast Runner, Slow Runner Somehow Make Relationship Work

Mismatched couple find a way to bridge differences.

Read More
January 05, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Relationships, Fast runners, Slow runners, Couple, Dating, Pace
December 23, 2025

The 10 Most Popular Dumb Runner Articles of 2025

December 23, 2025/ Mark Remy
The 10 Most Popular Dumb Runner Articles of 2025

Here’s what you weirdos liked most this year.

Read More
December 23, 2025/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
2025, Most Popular, Dumb
December 22, 2025

Student Driver Hits Student Runner

December 22, 2025/ Mark Remy
Student Driver Hits Student Runner

Instructor takes off one point.

Read More
December 22, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Pedestrian safety, Motorists, Whoops
December 18, 2025

Dumb Runner Illustrated #143: 'Go'

December 18, 2025/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #143: 'Go'

Putting the “pee” in PR.

Read More
December 18, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, PR, Pee, Diapers, Puns
December 17, 2025

Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Be Worried About Peeing ‘Blood’?

December 17, 2025/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Be Worried About Peeing ‘Blood’?

Yes. Yes, you “should.”

Read More
December 17, 2025/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Dr. Dumb, Pee, Blood, Medical advice, Social media
December 15, 2025

Semiconscious Woman Makes Strong Case for Skipping Morning Run

December 15, 2025/ Mark Remy
Semiconscious Woman Makes Strong Case for Skipping Morning Run

Local runner decides to stay put.

Read More
December 15, 2025/ Mark Remy/
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    • NEW BOOK! "The Running Dictionary"
    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
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    • 2026 Wall Calendar
  • Support Dumb Runner/
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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