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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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July 02, 2025

Runner Complaining About Summer Weather Can’t Wait to Start Complaining About Winter Weather

July 02, 2025/ Mark Remy
Runner Complaining About Summer Weather Can’t Wait to Start Complaining About Winter Weather

Local man eager to switch things up.

Read More
July 02, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Summer, Winter, Complaints, Bad weather
June 25, 2025

Report: Great, These Assholes Again

June 25, 2025/ Mark Remy
Report: Great, These Assholes Again

Local runner wonders what their deal is, anyway.

Read More
June 25, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Track, Assholes, Couple, Etiquette, Annoyance
June 23, 2025

‘Any Advice?’ Runner With Compound Fracture Asks Facebook Running Group

June 23, 2025/ Mark Remy
‘Any Advice?’ Runner With Compound Fracture Asks Facebook Running Group

Fellow runners suggest stretches, dietary supplements, new shoes.

Read More
June 23, 2025/ Mark Remy/
June 20, 2025

Dumb Runner Illustrated #131: 'Storytime'

June 20, 2025/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #131: 'Storytime'

Only 350 pages to go!

Read More
June 20, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Jack Daniels, Boo, Storytime, Children
June 18, 2025

Headphone-Wearing Runner’s Off-Leash Dog Also Wearing Headphones

June 18, 2025/ Mark Remy
Headphone-Wearing Runner’s Off-Leash Dog Also Wearing Headphones

Both creatures unaware of surroundings.

Read More
June 18, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Dogs, Trail, Headphones, Running with music, Etiquette, Obliviousness
June 16, 2025

OUTRAGE ALERT! This Member of the Slow AF Running Club Is Not Slow as Fuck

June 16, 2025/ Mark Remy
OUTRAGE ALERT! This Member of the Slow AF Running Club Is Not Slow as Fuck

Investigation reveals 5K PR of 24:33.

Read More
June 16, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Slow, Fuck, Running club, Impostor, Fraud
June 11, 2025

Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Worry About Really Muscly Kangaroos?

June 11, 2025/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Worry About Really Muscly Kangaroos?

Yes, and doubly so if you’re near a body of water.

Read More
June 11, 2025/ Mark Remy/
Australia, Kangaroos, Dr. Dumb, Bodies of water
June 05, 2025

Dumb Runner Illustrated #130: 'Why'

June 05, 2025/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #130: 'Why'

“Well …”

Read More
June 05, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Marathons, Why, Good questions
June 04, 2025

Local Runner Works Story of Shitting Self in Marathon Into Yet Another Conversation

June 04, 2025/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Works Story of Shitting Self in Marathon Into Yet Another Conversation

New coworker taken aback.

Read More
June 04, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Shitting oneself, Chitchat, Guy you work with
May 28, 2025

OPINION: Stop Shaming Newbies Who Don't Know What ‘5’ Means, or How Numerals Work in General

May 28, 2025/ Mark Remy
OPINION: Stop Shaming Newbies Who Don't Know What ‘5’ Means, or How Numerals Work in General

Do better, gatekeepers.

Read More
May 28, 2025/ Mark Remy/
New runners, Marathons, Rodents
May 22, 2025

Dumb Runner Illustrated #129: 'Recovery'

May 22, 2025/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #129: 'Recovery'

Take a hike, Brian—and then recover from that hike!

Read More
May 22, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Recovery, Marketing, Ma, Brian, Comics
May 21, 2025

Local Runner Grateful for Little Wave From Motorist Who Nearly Hit Her

May 21, 2025/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Grateful for Little Wave From Motorist Who Nearly Hit Her

Woman appreciates feeble gesture.

Read More
May 21, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Pedestrian safety, Motorists, Distraction, Smartphone
May 19, 2025

American Runner Bound for Canada Happy About Favorable Mile/Kilometer Exchange Rate

May 19, 2025/ Mark Remy
American Runner Bound for Canada Happy About Favorable Mile/Kilometer Exchange Rate

Local man intends to “load up on long runs” during visit.

Read More
May 19, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Canada, Metric system, Exchange rate, Travel
May 14, 2025

Runner Has Ironman Calf Tattoo of Runner With Ironman Calf Tattoo

May 14, 2025/ Mark Remy
Runner Has Ironman Calf Tattoo of Runner With Ironman Calf Tattoo

Meta image shared on Meta social media platforms.

Read More
May 14, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Tattoos, Ironman, Irony
May 12, 2025

SAD! This Woman Has Hundreds of Mid-Run Selfies But Isn’t on Social Media So All She Can Do Is Walk Around Showing Them to People on Her Phone

May 12, 2025/ Mark Remy
SAD! This Woman Has Hundreds of Mid-Run Selfies But Isn’t on Social Media So All She Can Do Is Walk Around Showing Them to People on Her Phone

Strangers show little interest in local runner’s photos.

Read More
May 12, 2025/ Mark Remy/
May 08, 2025

Dumb Runner Illustrated #128: 'Break'

May 08, 2025/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #128: 'Break'

You are not alone.

Read More
May 08, 2025/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Comics, Insanity, Current events, Coping mechanism, Friends, Politics
May 07, 2025

Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Worry About Psycho Ostriches?

May 07, 2025/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Worry About Psycho Ostriches?

Short answer: Absolutely.

Read More
May 07, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Dr. Dumb, Ostriches, Worry, Anxiety, Threats, Qu'est-ce que c'est?
May 05, 2025

Trump Signs Executive Order Barring Triathlon Transitions

May 05, 2025/ Mark Remy
Trump Signs Executive Order Barring Triathlon Transitions

New directive flummoxes athletes and event directors alike.

Read More
May 05, 2025/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Triathlon, Donald Trump, Executive orders
April 30, 2025

Local Jogger Getting Pretty Good at Guessing Time and Manner of Death

April 30, 2025/ Mark Remy
Local Jogger Getting Pretty Good at Guessing Time and Manner of Death

Self-taught expert says she can spot blunt-force trauma from 20 feet away.

Read More
April 30, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Joggers, Dead body, Death, Blunt-force trauma
April 28, 2025

New Signs Will Alert Drivers to Intersections Where They Really Do Need to Stop

April 28, 2025/ Mark Remy
New Signs Will Alert Drivers to Intersections Where They Really Do Need to Stop

“Really Red” traffic light may be next, officials say.

Read More
April 28, 2025/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Pedestrian safety, Stop signs, Motorists
  • Next
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    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
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    • Who Is Dumb Runner?
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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