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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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April 20, 2026

Cryptic Street Sign Leaves Local Motorist Baffled

April 20, 2026/ Mark Remy
Cryptic Street Sign Leaves Local Motorist Baffled

Driver puzzles over meaning of all-caps message as he rolls through red light.

Read More
April 20, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Motorists, Pedestrian safety, Signs, Bafflement, Traffic
April 17, 2026

New Sign at Boston Nike Store Somehow Makes Things Worse

April 17, 2026/ Mark Remy
New Sign at Boston Nike Store Somehow Makes Things Worse

“How could we be anti-walker?” brand spokesperson says.

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April 17, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Nike, Self-inflicted wound, Marketing
April 16, 2026

Dumb Runner Illustrated #151: ‘Mallet’

April 16, 2026/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #151: ‘Mallet’

Terrible photos are available for a small additional fee.

Read More
April 16, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Marathons, Belt sander, Mallets, Gatorade
April 15, 2026

Boston Marathon Says Runners Who End Race at Heartbreak Hill Can Still Get Finisher’s Medal

April 15, 2026/ Mark Remy
Boston Marathon Says Runners Who End Race at Heartbreak Hill Can Still Get Finisher’s Medal

Organizers say decision is meant to keep runners safe.

Read More
April 15, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Boston Marathon, Finisher's medal, Los Angeles Marathon, Heartbreak
April 13, 2026

Local Runner Frustrated to Be Stuck Again in Rush Hour Traffic

April 13, 2026/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Frustrated to Be Stuck Again in Rush Hour Traffic

“Honk!” man shouts at drivers in front of him.

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April 13, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Traffic, Motorists, Gridlock, Frustration
April 06, 2026

‘I’m Not Blaming the Victim,’ Says Man Preparing to Blame the Victim

April 06, 2026/ Mark Remy
‘I’m Not Blaming the Victim,’ Says Man Preparing to Blame the Victim

Pedestrian should have “watched where she was going,” man writes.

Read More
April 06, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comments, Pedestrian safety, Motorists, Victim blaming
April 02, 2026

Dumb Runner Illustrated #150: ‘Inspiration’

April 02, 2026/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #150: ‘Inspiration’

“Wait, do you know what selfie means?”

Read More
April 02, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Old, Youth, Aging, Inspiration
March 30, 2026

Runner’s Foot Rejects Implanted Carbon Plate

March 30, 2026/ Mark Remy
Runner’s Foot Rejects Implanted Carbon Plate

First-of-its-kind surgery ends in failure, but doctors vow to press on.

Read More
March 30, 2026/ Mark Remy/
March 20, 2026

Dumb Runner Illustrated #149: ‘Strategy’

March 20, 2026/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #149: ‘Strategy’

Good luck!

Read More
March 20, 2026/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Marathons, Strategy, Comics
March 18, 2026

TRAGIC! Just 1 Mile from the Finish, Dozens of Runners in This Greek Marathon Were Led Off Course by Indescribably Beautiful Female Singing

March 18, 2026/ Mark Remy
TRAGIC! Just 1 Mile from the Finish, Dozens of Runners in This Greek Marathon Were Led Off Course by Indescribably Beautiful Female Singing

Thousands of others finish safely, thanks to plugged ears.

Read More
March 18, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Literature, Greece, Homer, Sirens, Beeswax, Running with music
March 11, 2026

In Cost-Cutting Move, Runner’s World Eliminates Vowels

March 11, 2026/ Mark Remy
In Cost-Cutting Move, Runner’s World Eliminates Vowels

“Rdrs wll hrdl knw th dffrnc,” publisher says in a statement.

Read More
March 11, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Runner's World, Media, Vowels, Money
March 09, 2026

‘It’s Not You, It’s Us,’ NYC Marathon Tells Rejected Applicant

March 09, 2026/ Mark Remy
‘It’s Not You, It’s Us,’ NYC Marathon Tells Rejected Applicant

Patronizing email only makes things worse.

Read More
March 09, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Rejection, New York City Marathon, Heartbreak
March 06, 2026

BREAKING: L.A. Marathon Organizers Wondering Whether It Too Late to Claim Website Was Hacked

March 06, 2026/ Mark Remy
BREAKING: L.A. Marathon Organizers Wondering Whether It Too Late to Claim Website Was Hacked

Finisher’s medal backlash leaves staffers feeling besieged.

Read More
March 06, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Los Angeles Marathon, Crisis management, DNF, Finisher's medal
March 06, 2026

Dumb Runner Illustrated #148: ‘Gift’

March 06, 2026/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #148: ‘Gift’

It’s the thought that counts.

Read More
March 06, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Gifts for Runners, Strava
March 04, 2026

Running Ultramarathons May Tucker You Out, Study Warns

March 04, 2026/ Mark Remy
Running Ultramarathons May Tucker You Out, Study Warns

Further study is needed, researchers say.

Read More
March 04, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Ultras, Research, Science, Tuckered out, Hidden Health Risks
March 02, 2026

EXCLUSIVE: God Calls Jeff Galloway ‘Super Nice Guy,’ Promises to Try Walk Breaks

March 02, 2026/ Mark Remy
EXCLUSIVE: God Calls Jeff Galloway ‘Super Nice Guy,’ Promises to Try Walk Breaks

Running icon wins over another convert.

Read More
March 02, 2026/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Galloway, God, Heaven, R.I.P., Run/walk
February 23, 2026

Local Runner Pastes Toenail Into Marathon Keepsake Album

February 23, 2026/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Pastes Toenail Into Marathon Keepsake Album

Tough, blackened shard takes its place among other mementos.

Read More
February 23, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Toenails, Keepsakes, Scrapbook, Memories, Marathons
February 20, 2026

Dumb Runner Illustrated #147: ‘Almost’

February 20, 2026/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #147: ‘Almost’

That kind of endurance doesn’t just happen.

Read More
February 20, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Spectator, Almost there
February 17, 2026

No Finishers at 2026 Barkley Marathons as Earth Opens Its Mouth to Swallow Shrieking Participants Into the Realm of the Dead Before Closing Over Them Forever

February 17, 2026/ Mark Remy
No Finishers at 2026 Barkley Marathons as Earth Opens Its Mouth to Swallow Shrieking Participants Into the Realm of the Dead Before Closing Over Them Forever

“The course wins again” as runners perish in biblical fashion.

Read More
February 17, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Barkley Marathons, Biblical, Bowels of the earth
February 16, 2026

Minnesota Native Takes Gold in Long-Run-on-Snow-Covered-Ice Event at Winter Olympics

February 16, 2026/ Mark Remy
Minnesota Native Takes Gold in Long-Run-on-Snow-Covered-Ice Event at Winter Olympics

African runners languish in brutal conditions.

Read More
February 16, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Minnesota, Olympics, Cold, Snow, Ice, Winter
  • Next
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    • NEW BOOK! "The Running Dictionary"
    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
    • "C is for Chafing" picture book
    • "The Runner's Rule Book"
  • Support Dumb Runner/
  • INFO/
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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