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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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    • NEW BOOK! "The Running Dictionary"
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    • "C is for Chafing" picture book
    • "The Runner's Rule Book"
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July 30, 2026

Dumb Runner Illustrated #158: ‘Matrimony'

July 30, 2026/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #158: ‘Matrimony'

Hey, these ceremonies can be long.

Read More
July 30, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Marriage, Weddings, Objections, Trail running, Hydration
July 27, 2026

Ultra Race Director Acknowledges Course May Have Been Poorly Marked

July 27, 2026/ Mark Remy
Ultra Race Director Acknowledges Course May Have Been Poorly Marked

Event will also consider adding more aid stations.

Read More
July 27, 2026/ Mark Remy/
July 21, 2026

Ask Dr. Dumb: How Can I Avoid Being GORED IN THE FACE?

July 21, 2026/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: How Can I Avoid Being GORED IN THE FACE?

Steer clear of Spain, for starters.

Read More
July 21, 2026/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Bull, Gore, Dr. Dumb, Face, Threats
July 16, 2026

Dumb Runner Illustrated #157: ‘Sympathy'

July 16, 2026/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #157: ‘Sympathy'

“And bring me a little snack?”

Read More
July 16, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Sympathetic pregnancy, Massage, Couch, Relationships
July 14, 2026

Organizers Say Twin Cities Marathon Will Move to Air-Conditioned Mall Beginning in 2028

July 14, 2026/ Mark Remy
Organizers Say Twin Cities Marathon Will Move to Air-Conditioned Mall Beginning in 2028

Officials cite steadily rising temperatures for decision to move event indoors.

Read More
July 14, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Twin Cities, Marathons, Heat, Climate change, Mall
July 07, 2026

Colorado Health Authorities Confirm 12 New Cases of Runner’s Mouth

July 07, 2026/ Mark Remy
Colorado Health Authorities Confirm 12 New Cases of Runner’s Mouth

Doctors alarmed by resurgence of a condition once thought eliminated.

Read More
July 07, 2026/ Mark Remy/
June 29, 2026

Sports Scientist’s Wife Sick of Hearing How Sex and Isolated Anthropometric Measures Do Not Explain Individual Differences in Responsiveness to Advanced Footwear Technology in Highly Trained Runners

June 29, 2026/ Mark Remy
Sports Scientist’s Wife Sick of Hearing How Sex and Isolated Anthropometric Measures Do Not Explain Individual Differences in Responsiveness to Advanced Footwear Technology in Highly Trained Runners

Local woman nears breaking point.

Read More
June 29, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Science, Research, Relationships, Isolated Anthropometric Measures
June 22, 2026

Survey Finds Just 5% of Treadmill Users Get ‘Stop This Crazy Thing!’ Reference

June 22, 2026/ Mark Remy
Survey Finds Just 5% of Treadmill Users Get ‘Stop This Crazy Thing!’ Reference

Classic cartoon experts sound the alarm.

Read More
June 22, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Nostalgia, Old, Cartoon violence, TV, Jetsons
June 18, 2026

Dumb Runner Illustrated #155: ‘Lady'

June 18, 2026/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #155: ‘Lady'

Watch out for your uterus!

Read More
June 18, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Doctor's office, Seniors, Old, Uterus
June 09, 2026

‘Perfect Weather for a Marathon,’ Says Spectator Standing Perfectly Still on Hot, Cloudless Morning

June 09, 2026/ Mark Remy
‘Perfect Weather for a Marathon,’ Says Spectator Standing Perfectly Still on Hot, Cloudless Morning

Local man is not a runner, sources say.

Read More
June 09, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Spectator, Weather
June 05, 2026

Dumb Runner Illustrated #154: ‘Horror'

June 05, 2026/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #154: ‘Horror'

He wanted a mission. And for his sins, they gave him one.

Read More
June 05, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Apocalypse Now, Speedwork, Horror
May 21, 2026

Dumb Runner Illustrated #153: ‘Trauma'

May 21, 2026/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #153: ‘Trauma'

Not all scars are visible.

Read More
May 21, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Motorists, Minor inconvenience, Pedes, Trauma
May 18, 2026

Report: Local Runner Will Edit That Out Later

May 18, 2026/ Mark Remy
Report: Local Runner Will Edit That Out Later

“Eww,” says selfie-taker.

Read More
May 18, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Selfies, Editing, Homeless, Unpleasantness, Social media
May 08, 2026

Dumb Runner Illustrated #152: ‘Burger’

May 08, 2026/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #152: ‘Burger’

A marathon finisher walks into a bar …

Read More
May 08, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Marathons, Beer, Postrace rituals, Foo, Finisher's medal
May 05, 2026

Experts Predict Marathon World Record Will Continue Falling, But Not TOO MUCH More, Because Come On

May 05, 2026/ Mark Remy
Experts Predict Marathon World Record Will Continue Falling, But Not TOO MUCH More, Because Come On

Sports scientists agree this shit can’t go on forever.

Read More
May 05, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Sabastian Sawe, Marathon, World Record, Limits
April 29, 2026

EXCLUSIVE: Sabastian Sawe’s Next Goal Will Be World Record for Running a Marathon Dressed as Buzz Lightyear

April 29, 2026/ Mark Remy
EXCLUSIVE: Sabastian Sawe’s Next Goal Will Be World Record for Running a Marathon Dressed as Buzz Lightyear

Fresh off his history-making run at London, the Kenyan pivots to whimsy.

Read More
April 29, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Sabastian Sawe, London Marathon, World Record, Buzz Lightyear, Costumes
April 20, 2026

Cryptic Street Sign Leaves Local Motorist Baffled

April 20, 2026/ Mark Remy
Cryptic Street Sign Leaves Local Motorist Baffled

Driver puzzles over meaning of all-caps message as he rolls through red light.

Read More
April 20, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Motorists, Pedestrian safety, Signs, Bafflement, Traffic
April 17, 2026

New Sign at Boston Nike Store Somehow Makes Things Worse

April 17, 2026/ Mark Remy
New Sign at Boston Nike Store Somehow Makes Things Worse

“How could we be anti-walker?” brand spokesperson says.

Read More
April 17, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Nike, Self-inflicted wound, Marketing
April 16, 2026

Dumb Runner Illustrated #151: ‘Mallet’

April 16, 2026/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #151: ‘Mallet’

Terrible photos are available for a small additional fee.

Read More
April 16, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Marathons, Belt sander, Mallets, Gatorade
April 15, 2026

Boston Marathon Says Runners Who End Race at Heartbreak Hill Can Still Get Finisher’s Medal

April 15, 2026/ Mark Remy
Boston Marathon Says Runners Who End Race at Heartbreak Hill Can Still Get Finisher’s Medal

Organizers say decision is meant to keep runners safe.

Read More
April 15, 2026/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Boston Marathon, Finisher's medal, Los Angeles Marathon, Heartbreak
  • Next
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  • Running 101/
  • MERCH/
    • NEW BOOK! "The Running Dictionary"
    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
    • "C is for Chafing" picture book
    • "The Runner's Rule Book"
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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