Report: Old Lady, Like, Right in the Way

Photo by Kaboompics.com from Pexels

An old lady is, like, right in the way of runners on a path in a local park, Dumb Runner has learned.

The elderly woman, believed to be in her 80s, is moving, a source said, but just barely. It is unclear where she's come from or where she's going. 

"She's almost in the exact middle of the path," said the source, a runner in his forties who frequently runs through the park in question. "Like, right in the way."

The source said he's unsure whether to pass the woman on her left or her right, or to slow to a walk, or what. 

"The path is only so wide, and there's this raised curb on either side," he said. "And to her right, there are a couple of older gentlemen on a bench."

"I mean, I don't want to pass too close and hit her."

Another complicating factor, he said, is that the woman's body language is sending mixed signals.

"Her head is turned slightly to the left," he said, suggesting that her attention is focused in that direction. At the same time, though, "She's kind of drifting right—like, with her whole body—as she shuffles along."

"Honestly, I don't know what to do," said the man. "Is she going to make for the bench? Realize she's drifting right, then over-correct and lurch left? Neither?"

At last report, the woman had paused to look into her purse.