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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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January 20, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #72: 'Parade'

January 20, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #72: 'Parade'

Honest mistake!

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January 20, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Comics, Marathons, Signs, Spectator, Parades
January 16, 2023

Strava Explains Recent Price Hike: ‘We Want More Money’

January 16, 2023/ Mark Remy
Strava Explains Recent Price Hike: ‘We Want More Money’

Company releases statement in response to confusion, backlash.

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January 16, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Strava, Money
January 13, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #71: 'Massage'

January 13, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #71: 'Massage'

Wait—are we talking Phillips head, or the regular kind?

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January 13, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Massage, Pain, Masochism
January 11, 2023

Diverse Running Club Includes Whites From Variety of Backgrounds

January 11, 2023/ Mark Remy
Diverse Running Club Includes Whites From Variety of Backgrounds

Group has members “of both genders,” from middle class to upper-middle class.

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January 11, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Race, Diversity, Running club
January 04, 2023

Sign Makes No Mention of Humans, Desperate Runner Notes

January 04, 2023/ Mark Remy
Sign Makes No Mention of Humans, Desperate Runner Notes

Local man spends 90 mysterious seconds behind bushes.

Read More
January 04, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Dogs, Poop, Yard signs, Spurious logic
December 21, 2022

The Most Popular Dumb Runner Articles of 2022

December 21, 2022/ Mark Remy
The Most Popular Dumb Runner Articles of 2022

Spoiler: Y’all seem to love raking triathletes over the coals.

Read More
December 21, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Real, Satire, News
2022, Most Popular
December 19, 2022

Report: 80% of Runners Suffer From Kudos Deficiency

December 19, 2022/ Mark Remy
Report: 80% of Runners Suffer From Kudos Deficiency

Most sufferers are unaware, lead author says.

Read More
December 19, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Motivation, News, Satire
Kudos, Strava, Deficiency, Sad
December 09, 2022

Dumb Runner Illustrated #70: 'PEZ'

December 09, 2022/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #70: 'PEZ'

Ruh roh!

Read More
December 09, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Training
Comics, Injuries, PEZ, Spurious logic, Scooby-Doo
December 05, 2022

Kipchoge Declared Winner of 2023 Boston Marathon

December 05, 2022/ Mark Remy
Kipchoge Declared Winner of 2023 Boston Marathon

Unusual move “will save everyone time and energy,” organizers say.

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December 05, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Eliud Kipchoge, Boston Marathon, Fait accompli
November 30, 2022

‘You Got This!’ Fitness Class Instructor Tells Partner

November 30, 2022/ Mark Remy
‘You Got This!’ Fitness Class Instructor Tells Partner

Woman offers words of encouragement.

Read More
November 30, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
You got this, Throes of ecstasy
November 28, 2022

‘Police Academy’ Marathon More Painful Than Actual Marathon

November 28, 2022/ Mark Remy
‘Police Academy’ Marathon More Painful Than Actual Marathon

Local couple DNFs.

Read More
November 28, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Pain, Steve Guttenberg, TV
November 11, 2022

Dumb Runner Illustrated #69: 'Seatmate'

November 11, 2022/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #69: 'Seatmate'

How long is this flight again?

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November 11, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Mansplaining, Airline travel, Marathons, Parachutes
November 09, 2022

Physicists Baffled by Reports of Runners ‘Coming Out of Nowhere’

November 09, 2022/ Mark Remy
Physicists Baffled by Reports of Runners ‘Coming Out of Nowhere’

Experts say incidents appear to violate basic laws of matter.

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November 09, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Distraction, Pedestrian safety, Motorists, Physics
November 03, 2022

Dumb Runner Illustrated #68: 'Furnace'

November 03, 2022/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #68: 'Furnace'

Fuel me once, shame on you…

Read More
November 03, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Ice cream, Strudel, Fueling, Furnace, Metaphors
October 31, 2022

Salazar Tells Trick-or-Treater She’d Be Spookier if She 'Dropped a Few Pounds'

October 31, 2022/ Mark Remy
Salazar Tells Trick-or-Treater She’d Be Spookier if She 'Dropped a Few Pounds'

Disgraced coach gives child candy, advice.

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October 31, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Halloween, Candy, Alberto Salazar, Weight loss, Old habits
October 20, 2022

Dumb Runner Illustrated #66: 'Carbon'

October 20, 2022/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #66: 'Carbon'

Everyone’s doing it.

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October 20, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Shoes, Carbon plates, Technology, Racing, Parenthood
October 13, 2022

Dumb Runner Illustrated #65: 'Support'

October 13, 2022/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #65: 'Support'

She ran Thursday, though, right? …Right?!?

Read More
October 13, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Support, Group therapy, Guilt
October 10, 2022

German Man Seeking Lost Chicago Marathon Medal 'Really Creeping People Out,' Sources Say

October 10, 2022/ Mark Remy
German Man Seeking Lost Chicago Marathon Medal 'Really Creeping People Out,' Sources Say

“I was, like, holy shit.”

Read More
October 10, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Medals, Chicago Marathon, Germany, I Hate These Guys
October 07, 2022

9 SEO-Friendly Tips for Running the Chicago Marathon

October 07, 2022/ Mark Remy
9 SEO-Friendly Tips for Running the Chicago Marathon

Use this insider info for your best Chicago Marathon ever.

Read More
October 07, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Real, News
Chicago Marathon, Motivation, Marathons
October 05, 2022

With Marathon Just Days Away, Nothing Can Stop Highly Trained Runner Now Except Minor Cold, Sprained Ankle, or Any of a Dozen Other Common Chance Occurrences

October 05, 2022/ Mark Remy
With Marathon Just Days Away, Nothing Can Stop Highly Trained Runner Now Except Minor Cold, Sprained Ankle, or Any of a Dozen Other Common Chance Occurrences

“The hay is in the barn,” says local woman.

Read More
October 05, 2022/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Taper, Injuries, Sickness
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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