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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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June 19, 2024

Respectful Runner Hocks Massive Loogie in Cemetery as Quietly as Possible

June 19, 2024/ Mark Remy
Respectful Runner Hocks Massive Loogie in Cemetery as Quietly as Possible

Local man mouths “Sorry for your loss” to nearby mourner.

Read More
June 19, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Cemeteries, Respect, Death, Graves, Mourners, Etiquette, Loogies
June 17, 2024

Old Runner at End of Bar Ranting Again About Demise of ‘Running Times’ Magazine

June 17, 2024/ Mark Remy
Old Runner at End of Bar Ranting Again About Demise of ‘Running Times’ Magazine

Senior man mourns niche title that closed years ago.

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June 17, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Running Times, Nostalgia, Beer, Wistfulness, Old
June 05, 2024

Local Motorist Fuming at Marathon Road Closures That Were Publicized For Months in Advance Via Street Signs, Flyers, Social Media, TV, Radio, Local Paper, and Vintage Biplane Towing Banner

June 05, 2024/ Mark Remy
Local Motorist Fuming at Marathon Road Closures That Were Publicized For Months in Advance Via Street Signs, Flyers, Social Media, TV, Radio, Local Paper, and Vintage Biplane Towing Banner

“What the hell?” man asks.

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June 05, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Road closures, Motorists, Anger, Vintage biplane
June 03, 2024

Local Runner Has Perfect Comeback for Driver Who Heckled Him

June 03, 2024/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Has Perfect Comeback for Driver Who Heckled Him

Devastating retort materializes 16 hours after encounter.

Read More
June 03, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Motorists, Anger, Retorts, Heckling, Harrassment, Insomnia
May 31, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #106: 'Resume'

May 31, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #106: 'Resume'

Apart from “Boston,” what are your qualifications?

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May 31, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Marathons, Job interview, Resume, Weakness
May 29, 2024

Anonymous Kudos Slipped Under Door Starting to Freak Local Runner Out

May 29, 2024/ Mark Remy
Anonymous Kudos Slipped Under Door Starting to Freak Local Runner Out

Unsigned cards are also appearing on car and at workplace, man says.

Read More
May 29, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Strava, Kudos, Anonymity, Creepy
May 22, 2024

‘Ghost of Prefontaine’ Actually Hayward Field Groundskeeper in Disguise, Amateur Sleuths Reveal

May 22, 2024/ Mark Remy
‘Ghost of Prefontaine’ Actually Hayward Field Groundskeeper in Disguise, Amateur Sleuths Reveal

“It’s Old Man Ruby!” officer exclaims.

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May 22, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Hayward Field, Meddling kids, Clumsy disguise, Steve Prefontaine, Scooby-Doo
May 16, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #105: 'Fortune'

May 16, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #105: 'Fortune'

“A stranger will offer you a cup of water.”

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May 16, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Future, Fortune teller, Predictions, Crystal ball, Spooky
May 13, 2024

In Major Shift, USATF Says Competitors May Ignore Any Rule They Think Is Stupid

May 13, 2024/ Mark Remy
In Major Shift, USATF Says Competitors May Ignore Any Rule They Think Is Stupid

“Times change, and we must change with them,” says governing body.

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May 13, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
USATF, Rules, Marathons
May 08, 2024

'Oh, I Used to Run Marathons,' Says Smirking Woman Who Refuses to Elaborate

May 08, 2024/ Mark Remy
'Oh, I Used to Run Marathons,' Says Smirking Woman Who Refuses to Elaborate

Cryptic remarks hang in the air, like so much cigarette smoke.

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May 08, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Cigarettes, Alcohol, Rueful, Bitterness, Mysteries
May 06, 2024

‘Totally Jacked’ Kipchoge Reveals New Self on Cover of Runner's World

May 06, 2024/ Mark Remy
‘Totally Jacked’ Kipchoge Reveals New Self on Cover of Runner's World

Marathon legend is clearly happy with chiseled physique.

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May 06, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Eliud Kipchoge, Runner's World, Muscles, Totally jacked, Media
May 03, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #104: 'Rest'

May 03, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #104: 'Rest'

Every little bit helps.

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May 03, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Rest, Mara, Air travel, Piggyback
April 29, 2024

‘My Only Goal Is to Finish,’ Says First-Time Marathoner Who Has Spent His Whole Life Playing It Safe, So Why Should This Be Any Different?

April 29, 2024/ Mark Remy
‘My Only Goal Is to Finish,’ Says First-Time Marathoner Who Has Spent His Whole Life Playing It Safe, So Why Should This Be Any Different?

Local runner has long history of avoiding risk.

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April 29, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Goals, Marathons, Risk averse, Caution
April 25, 2024

Dumb Runner Field Guide #6: How to Handle a Poo Emergency

April 25, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Field Guide #6: How to Handle a Poo Emergency

Go go go!

Read More
April 25, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Real, News
Dumb Runner Field Guide, Poop
April 24, 2024

Ask Dr. Dumb: How Should I Handle Excitable Sausage Dogs?

April 24, 2024/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: How Should I Handle Excitable Sausage Dogs?

Very carefully, as it turns out.

Read More
April 24, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Dr. Dumb, Sausage, Dogs, Human behavior
April 22, 2024

‘Jogging’ Stock Photo Model Really Phoning It In

April 22, 2024/ Mark Remy
‘Jogging’ Stock Photo Model Really Phoning It In

“Beautiful mature sportswoman” obviously not moving.

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April 22, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Stock photos, Senior, Phone
April 18, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #103: 'Active'

April 18, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #103: 'Active'

Don’t forget to take some rest days.

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April 18, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Sedentary, Fitne, Active lifestyle, Screen time
April 15, 2024

Shy Boston Marathoner Waits for Wellesley Student to Make First Move

April 15, 2024/ Mark Remy
Shy Boston Marathoner Waits for Wellesley Student to Make First Move

Runner is losing precious minutes as he dithers.

Read More
April 15, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Boston Marathon, Wellesley, Kiss, Shyness
April 10, 2024

Report: Mom Not Mad That You Didn’t Mention Her in Your Marathon Race Report, Just Disappointed

April 10, 2024/ Mark Remy
Report: Mom Not Mad That You Didn’t Mention Her in Your Marathon Race Report, Just Disappointed

Endlessly supportive woman is “very happy for you,” sources say.

Read More
April 10, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Race report, Mother, Guilt, Disappointment, Family
April 08, 2024

MTA to Charge New York City Marathoners $10 Each Time They Record Themselves Gingerly Going Down Steps to Subway Stations After the Race

April 08, 2024/ Mark Remy
MTA to Charge New York City Marathoners $10 Each Time They Record Themselves Gingerly Going Down Steps to Subway Stations After the Race

New harebrained scheme replaces old harebrained scheme.

Read More
April 08, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Stairs, NYC, New York City Marathon, Subway, Mass transit, Harebrained schemes
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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