Report: Mom Not Mad That You Didn’t Mention Her in Your Marathon Race Report, Just Disappointed
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After tirelessly supporting you and your dreams for decades, not to mention, of course, carrying you in her body for nine months, your mother isn’t angry that you neglected to mention her even once in your 562-word postrace marathon report, Dumb Runner has learned—she’s just disappointed.
Your mother knows the exact length of your race report, sources said, because she copied and pasted the text into an online word-count tool.
Your race report, a detailed recap that covered seemingly every step from your training to your postrace celebration, mentioned at least a dozen people by name, including your coach; your partner, Chris; several colleagues who came out to cheer for you; and your father, whose own decades-long running habit first inspired you to take up running.
How many times do you refer to your mother? None, according to your mother. Zero. Zip. Nada.
Which is disappointing, but fine, your mother said. She just found it “interesting.”
You were “not an easy pregnancy, to say the least,” your mother said, describing a nine-month ordeal that “sure felt like a marathon” to her. And the challenges didn’t stop there, she added, alluding to childhood trips to the emergency room, academic struggles, numerous fights about the direction your life was taking, and several bad breakups that she, your mother, helped you get through.
“I was there for all of it,” your mother said. “No matter what. Because I am your mother, and that’s what mothers do.”
Tears welled in your mother’s eyes, sources said, as she decided to end the conversation.
“I’m not mad,” she said. “I’m very happy for you.”
A text message sent by you to your mother, sincerely apologizing for having inadvertently slighted her and telling her that you love her very much, went ignored for three and a half hours, sources said, at which point your mother replied with one word:
“OK.”
Your mother, who was last seen sitting alone in a living room chair, could not be reached for comment.
