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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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May 16, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #105: 'Fortune'

May 16, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #105: 'Fortune'

“A stranger will offer you a cup of water.”

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May 16, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Future, Fortune teller, Predictions, Crystal ball, Spooky
May 13, 2024

In Major Shift, USATF Says Competitors May Ignore Any Rule They Think Is Stupid

May 13, 2024/ Mark Remy
In Major Shift, USATF Says Competitors May Ignore Any Rule They Think Is Stupid

“Times change, and we must change with them,” says governing body.

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May 13, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
USATF, Rules, Marathons
May 08, 2024

'Oh, I Used to Run Marathons,' Says Smirking Woman Who Refuses to Elaborate

May 08, 2024/ Mark Remy
'Oh, I Used to Run Marathons,' Says Smirking Woman Who Refuses to Elaborate

Cryptic remarks hang in the air, like so much cigarette smoke.

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May 08, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Cigarettes, Alcohol, Rueful, Bitterness, Mysteries
May 06, 2024

‘Totally Jacked’ Kipchoge Reveals New Self on Cover of Runner's World

May 06, 2024/ Mark Remy
‘Totally Jacked’ Kipchoge Reveals New Self on Cover of Runner's World

Marathon legend is clearly happy with chiseled physique.

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May 06, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Eliud Kipchoge, Runner's World, Muscles, Totally jacked, Media
May 03, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #104: 'Rest'

May 03, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #104: 'Rest'

Every little bit helps.

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May 03, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Rest, Mara, Air travel, Piggyback
April 29, 2024

‘My Only Goal Is to Finish,’ Says First-Time Marathoner Who Has Spent His Whole Life Playing It Safe, So Why Should This Be Any Different?

April 29, 2024/ Mark Remy
‘My Only Goal Is to Finish,’ Says First-Time Marathoner Who Has Spent His Whole Life Playing It Safe, So Why Should This Be Any Different?

Local runner has long history of avoiding risk.

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April 29, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Goals, Marathons, Risk averse, Caution
April 25, 2024

Dumb Runner Field Guide #6: How to Handle a Poo Emergency

April 25, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Field Guide #6: How to Handle a Poo Emergency

Go go go!

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April 25, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Real, News
Dumb Runner Field Guide, Poop
April 24, 2024

Ask Dr. Dumb: How Should I Handle Excitable Sausage Dogs?

April 24, 2024/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: How Should I Handle Excitable Sausage Dogs?

Very carefully, as it turns out.

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April 24, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Dr. Dumb, Sausage, Dogs, Human behavior
April 22, 2024

‘Jogging’ Stock Photo Model Really Phoning It In

April 22, 2024/ Mark Remy
‘Jogging’ Stock Photo Model Really Phoning It In

“Beautiful mature sportswoman” obviously not moving.

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April 22, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Stock photos, Senior, Phone
April 18, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #103: 'Active'

April 18, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #103: 'Active'

Don’t forget to take some rest days.

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April 18, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Sedentary, Fitne, Active lifestyle, Screen time
April 15, 2024

Shy Boston Marathoner Waits for Wellesley Student to Make First Move

April 15, 2024/ Mark Remy
Shy Boston Marathoner Waits for Wellesley Student to Make First Move

Runner is losing precious minutes as he dithers.

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April 15, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Boston Marathon, Wellesley, Kiss, Shyness
April 10, 2024

Report: Mom Not Mad That You Didn’t Mention Her in Your Marathon Race Report, Just Disappointed

April 10, 2024/ Mark Remy
Report: Mom Not Mad That You Didn’t Mention Her in Your Marathon Race Report, Just Disappointed

Endlessly supportive woman is “very happy for you,” sources say.

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April 10, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Race report, Mother, Guilt, Disappointment, Family
April 08, 2024

MTA to Charge New York City Marathoners $10 Each Time They Record Themselves Gingerly Going Down Steps to Subway Stations After the Race

April 08, 2024/ Mark Remy
MTA to Charge New York City Marathoners $10 Each Time They Record Themselves Gingerly Going Down Steps to Subway Stations After the Race

New harebrained scheme replaces old harebrained scheme.

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April 08, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Stairs, NYC, New York City Marathon, Subway, Mass transit, Harebrained schemes
April 03, 2024

Boston Prepares for Marathon by Giving Dave McGillivray Fresh Coat of Paint

April 03, 2024/ Mark Remy
Boston Prepares for Marathon by Giving Dave McGillivray Fresh Coat of Paint

Legendary race director will “look like new” on race day, organizers say.

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April 03, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Boston Marathon, Dave McGillivray, Paint
March 25, 2024

‘Crazy-Ass 60-Hour Race Through Woods Started by Guy With Cigarette’ to Become Olympic Event

March 25, 2024/ Mark Remy
‘Crazy-Ass 60-Hour Race Through Woods Started by Guy With Cigarette’ to Become Olympic Event

New event will debut at 2028 Games.

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March 25, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Olympics, Ultras, Barkley Marathons, Cigarettes
March 21, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #101: 'Inadequate'

March 21, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #101: 'Inadequate'

Learn to spot the signs of undertraining.

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March 21, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Marathons, Training, Spectator, Signs, Coach
March 20, 2024

Barkley Marathons Runner Wonders if Girls Softly Singing Nursery Rhymes Are Part of Whole Barkley Thing, or What

March 20, 2024/ Mark Remy
Barkley Marathons Runner Wonders if Girls Softly Singing Nursery Rhymes Are Part of Whole Barkley Thing, or What

Children don’t show faces, which is fine by runner.

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March 20, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Barkley Marathons, Creepy, Little girls, Nursery rhymes, Wooded area
March 20, 2024

Ask Dr. Dumb: Will Jogging Fill Me With Rage?

March 20, 2024/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Will Jogging Fill Me With Rage?

Answer: SCREW YOU! GET OUTTA HERE!

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March 20, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Dr. Dumb, Simmering rage, Rage, Anger, Research
March 18, 2024

‘Running Keeps Me Young,’ Says Chronically Injured Man Who’s in Bed Every Night by 8:45

March 18, 2024/ Mark Remy
‘Running Keeps Me Young,’ Says Chronically Injured Man Who’s in Bed Every Night by 8:45

Local runner’s rhetoric belies his own condition.

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March 18, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Aging, Youth, Inju, Slee, Quality of life
March 07, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #100: 'Let Him Go'

March 07, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #100: 'Let Him Go'

Nice bike, though.

Read More
March 07, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Cycling, Dead eyes, Gary, Bik
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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