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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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November 29, 2023

Striking Runners Demand Shorter Hours, Better Running Conditions

November 29, 2023/ Mark Remy
Striking Runners Demand Shorter Hours, Better Running Conditions

Endurance athletes ride wave of pro-union sentiment.

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November 29, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Unions, Labor, Strike
November 15, 2023

Here's How Runners Can Dodge Trump Talk This Thanksgiving: 2023 Edition

November 15, 2023/ Mark Remy
Here's How Runners Can Dodge Trump Talk This Thanksgiving: 2023 Edition

He’s still around! Ha ha! Isn’t that great?

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November 15, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Donald Trump, Thanksgiving, Socially awkward, Family
November 13, 2023

Local Dog’s Race Photos Way Better Than Yours

November 13, 2023/ Mark Remy
Local Dog’s Race Photos Way Better Than Yours

“Like, by a lot,” says source.

Read More
November 13, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Race photos, Dogs, Racing, Good boy
November 10, 2023

Dumb Runner Field Guide #3: How to Almost Die Alone in the Wild

November 10, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Field Guide #3: How to Almost Die Alone in the Wild

Uh-oh.

Read More
November 10, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Dumb Runner Field Guide, Trail running, Hubris, Technology
November 08, 2023

‘I Race to Compete With Myself,’ Says Man Who, Days Ago, Almost Puked Trying to Beat Total Stranger to Finish Line at Local 5K

November 08, 2023/ Mark Remy
‘I Race to Compete With Myself,’ Says Man Who, Days Ago, Almost Puked Trying to Beat Total Stranger to Finish Line at Local 5K

Local runner was vying for 67th place.

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November 08, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Racing, Goals, Competition, Self awareness
November 06, 2023

Runner in First Mile of Marathon Sheds Old Sweatshirt, Sexual Inhibitions

November 06, 2023/ Mark Remy
Runner in First Mile of Marathon Sheds Old Sweatshirt, Sexual Inhibitions

Woman is liberated from garment and longtime suppression of animal urges.

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November 06, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Marathons, Layers, Sexual liberation, Sex
November 03, 2023

Confused by Daylight Saving Time? Use This Chart

November 03, 2023/ Mark Remy
Confused by Daylight Saving Time? Use This Chart

Let Dumb Runner help you “fall back” this weekend.

Read More
November 03, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Real
Daylight Saving Time, Clocks
October 30, 2023

City's Weirdos Excited for NYC Marathon Weekend

October 30, 2023/ Mark Remy
City's Weirdos Excited for NYC Marathon Weekend

"I look forward to it all year," says filthy guy dressed as wizard in Times Square.

Read More
October 30, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
New York City Marathon, Weirdos, NYC
October 27, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #93: 'STOP'

October 27, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #93: 'STOP'

The return of Super Runner Lady!

Read More
October 27, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Super Runner Lady, Dumb Runner Illustrated, Comics, Pedestrian safety
October 25, 2023

Ask Dr. Dumb: Can Drivers Honk at Me While I’m Jogging?

October 25, 2023/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Can Drivers Honk at Me While I’m Jogging?

Great news: No, they can’t!

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October 25, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Motorists, Honking, Dr. Dumb, Laws
October 23, 2023

7 Dumb Runner Halloween Costumes That Absolutely Nobody Will Get: 2023 Edition

October 23, 2023/ Mark Remy
7 Dumb Runner Halloween Costumes That Absolutely Nobody Will Get: 2023 Edition

Don’t have an incredibly esoteric costume yet? Relax, I got you!

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October 23, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Costumes, Halloween, Trick or treat, Esoterica
October 19, 2023

Dumb Runner Field Guide #2: How to Greet Fellow Runners

October 19, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Field Guide #2: How to Greet Fellow Runners

Sometimes, communication is a one-way street.

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October 19, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Dumb Runner Field Guide, Etiquette, Greetings
October 18, 2023

What You Need to Know About the 2023 New York City Marathon, From a Pathological Liar

October 18, 2023/ Mark Remy
What You Need to Know About the 2023 New York City Marathon, From a Pathological Liar

The popular Thanksgiving Day event expects a field of 640,000.

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October 18, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
New York City Marathon, Pathological lying
October 12, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #92: 'Shattered'

October 12, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #92: 'Shattered'

Try changing “iteration” to “version.”

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October 12, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Gear
Comics, Shoes, Gear, World Record, Marathons, Media, Journalism, Verbs
October 11, 2023

Report: Kelvin Kiptum Telling People He Ran '2-Hour Marathon,' Leaving Out the '35 Seconds' Part

October 11, 2023/ Mark Remy
Report: Kelvin Kiptum Telling People He Ran '2-Hour Marathon,' Leaving Out the '35 Seconds' Part

Rounding down “not cool,” experts say.

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October 11, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Kelvin Kiptum, Marathons, World Record, PR, Etiquette
October 05, 2023

Dumb Runner Field Guide #1: How to Deal With Roadkill

October 05, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Field Guide #1: How to Deal With Roadkill

Introducing a NEW visual feature that you may or may not enjoy!

Read More
October 05, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Real
Dumb Runner Field Guide, Roadkill, News You Can Use, How To
October 02, 2023

Twin Cities Marathon Canceled Due to Everyone Nowadays Being Big Crybabies, According to Hard-as-Nails Old Guy

October 02, 2023/ Mark Remy
Twin Cities Marathon Canceled Due to Everyone Nowadays Being Big Crybabies, According to Hard-as-Nails Old Guy

Local septuagenarian scoffs at last-minute decision.

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October 02, 2023/ Mark Remy/
September 29, 2023

Dumb Runner Illustrated #91: 'Essentials'

September 29, 2023/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #91: 'Essentials'

This is why you make a list.

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September 29, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Gear
Comics, Gear, New runners, Consumerism, Dammit
September 27, 2023

Ask Dr. Dumb: Why Do Some People Say 'I Have Ran'?

September 27, 2023/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Why Do Some People Say 'I Have Ran'?

Our resident language expert unpacks a persistent puzzle.

Read More
September 27, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Real
Grammar, Verbs, Mysteries, Simple past tense, Rage
September 25, 2023

Kipchoge Trashes Berlin Hotel Room, Annoys Neighbors in All-Night Post-Marathon Party

September 25, 2023/ Mark Remy
Kipchoge Trashes Berlin Hotel Room, Annoys Neighbors in All-Night Post-Marathon Party

Repeated calls to front desk fail to stop noise.

Read More
September 25, 2023/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Eliud Kipchoge, Berlin Marathon, Hotel room, Party, Rude
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    • NEW BOOK! "The Running Dictionary"
    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
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    • 2026 Wall Calendar
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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