'Let's See Where This Goes,' Says Chicago Marathon Director From Parallel Universe He's Been Living in Since Mid-February
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Chicago Marathon Registrant Quits Training Just in Case Race Is Canceled
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“I just want to be prepared,” says local runner.
Read MoreCowbells Aren’t Just for Marathons, Says Marketer Sitting on Warehouse Full of Unsold Product
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Metallic noisemakers have any number of uses, insists nation’s largest manufacturer.
Read More14 Ways to Make Your Virtual Marathon More Realistic
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E.g., Hire a lawyer to write a 12,000-word waiver for your event, then sign without reading it.
Read MoreOrganizers of 'Confederate General and First Grand Wizard of KKK Nathan Bedford Forrest Memorial Marathon' Consider Name Change
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“Something shorter would be easier to remember,” says race director.
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Runner Slaps Hood of Car, Prompting Long and Thoughtful Discussion With Driver
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For two strangers, interaction yields empathy and perspective.
Read MoreExclusive: 2020 Boston Marathon Is Back On, But It’s Happening Tomorrow So Get There ASAP
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“Hurry!” says a spokesperson.
Read MoreLocal Man Wonders Whether He’ll Ever Be Able to Return to Using Running as Pretext for Meeting Strangers for Anonymous Sex in Wooded Areas
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“Runner” yearns to get back to normal.
Read MoreAs Nation Convulses in Fury and Anguish, Teetering on Brink of Race War and Totalitarianism, Man Tells Runner’s World to Stick to Running
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Reader annoyed by article suggesting people consider doing something.
Read MoreInstead of Writing Something Funny, I Made a Pirate Ship With My 7-Year-Old
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Oh, and also a cool-looking cardboard sword.
Read MoreMan Cleaning Theragun Accidentally Massages Self in Thigh
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Alcohol was a factor, sources say.
Read MoreNo One Has Heart to Tell Dog That Race Not Happening This Year
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Spencer, a favorite of runners and spectators alike, remains in the dark.
Read MoreMan Wishes He’d Listened to Strange Woman Who Leapt From Shadows Back in February and Urged Him Not to Preorder 2020 Boston Jacket
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“Looking back now, of course, she was right,” says local runner.
Read MoreMan Has That Weird Dream Again Where He Runs Marathon Without Incident on Scheduled Date and Everything Is Fine
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“So bizarre,” runner says upon waking.
Read MoreGroup of 7 Adult Runners Apparently All Live Together, Which Must Be Cool
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“What other explanation could there be?” asks witness.
Read MoreDirty Running Shorts Enter 9th Week in Dark Gym Locker
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Funky athletic wear left in a moist, balled-up heap.
Read MoreThinking About Coronavirus Can Transmit It to Others, Says New Study, So You May Have Infected Someone Just by Reading This
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Head masks, or “hats,” might help, researchers say.
Read MoreSpartan Race Series Adds New ‘EXTREME VENTILATOR’ Obstacle
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“Devilish” challenge will debut at recently announced June event.
Read MoreWisconsin Running Club Celebrates Return to Complacency
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