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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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February 27, 2020

Local Runner Bluffs Way Through 10-Minute Conversation on Olympic Marathon Trials

February 27, 2020/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Bluffs Way Through 10-Minute Conversation on Olympic Marathon Trials

Man joins banter, masking ignorance of topic.

Read More
February 27, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Olympics, Olympic Marathon Trials, Bluffing
February 18, 2020

World Health Organization Pivots to Treat Runners Affected by Tokyo Marathon Cancellation

February 18, 2020/ Mark Remy
World Health Organization Pivots to Treat Runners Affected by Tokyo Marathon Cancellation

Global health agency diverts funds, personnel to address new challenge.

Read More
February 18, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
WHO, Global health, Epidemic, Marathons, Tokyo, Perspective, COVID-19, Coronavirus
February 17, 2020

McGillivray Cites ‘Can’t-Miss’ Dentist Appointment in Explaining New Date for 2020 Boston Marathon

February 17, 2020/ Mark Remy
McGillivray Cites ‘Can’t-Miss’ Dentist Appointment in Explaining New Date for 2020 Boston Marathon

Longtime race director regrets scheduling snafu.

Read More
February 17, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Boston Marathon, Dentist, Dave McGillivray, Scheduling conflict
January 27, 2020

Auto Industry Urges Congress to Raise Pedestrian Heights

January 27, 2020/ Mark Remy
Auto Industry Urges Congress to Raise Pedestrian Heights

Makers of trucks and SUVs point to spike in deaths, injuries.

Read More
January 27, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Auto industry, SUVs, Trucks, Pedestrian safety, Traffic, Motorists
January 20, 2020

New Iowa Law Lets Runners Roll Through Stop Signs

January 20, 2020/ Mark Remy
New Iowa Law Lets Runners Roll Through Stop Signs

Advocacy groups applaud “common sense” legislation.

Read More
January 20, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Laws, Stop signs, Rolling, Wheee
January 15, 2020

Surprisingly Well-Informed Motorist Screams at Runner to Get Off Road, Shorten Stride Length, Trade Jacket for Vest

January 15, 2020/ Mark Remy
Surprisingly Well-Informed Motorist Screams at Runner to Get Off Road, Shorten Stride Length, Trade Jacket for Vest

Driver balances hostility with constructive criticism.

Read More
January 15, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Motorists, Anger, Screaming, Get off the road, Traffic, Advice
January 08, 2020

Beach Runner Executes Flawless Grand Jeté Over Pile of Medical Waste

January 08, 2020/ Mark Remy
Beach Runner Executes Flawless Grand Jeté</em> Over Pile of Medical Waste

Washed-up detritus stands in contrast with moment of balletic grace.

Read More
January 08, 2020/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Beach running, Ballet, Detritus, Medical waste, Leaping
December 30, 2019

How Was Your Year in Running? Answer These Questions and We'll Tell You!

December 30, 2019/ Mark Remy
How Was Your Year in Running? Answer These Questions and We'll Tell You!

Calculate your RunWorth™ score and you’ll know exactly where you stand.

Read More
December 30, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
2019, RunWorth™, Data
December 18, 2019

Satan Pleased With Success of ‘Holiday Run’ Campaign

December 18, 2019/ Mark Remy
Satan Pleased With Success of ‘Holiday Run’ Campaign

“It’s all proceeding according to plan,” says Prince of Darkness.

Read More
December 18, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Holidays, Christmas, Satan, Devil, Underworld, Skype, God, Jesus
November 29, 2019

Hospitalized Thanksgiving Day Runner Found to Have 0.375 Blood Gravy Level

November 29, 2019/ Mark Remy
Hospitalized Thanksgiving Day Runner Found to Have 0.375 Blood Gravy Level

Odd behavior, slurred speech preceded collapse, witnesses say.

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November 29, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Thanksgiving, Turkey trot, Gravy
November 11, 2019

Nike Publicist Prepares for Another Awesome Week at Work

November 11, 2019/ Mark Remy
Nike Publicist Prepares for Another Awesome Week at Work

At sports gear giant’s global headquarters, assistant VP ready to face the day.

Read More
November 11, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Nike, News, Public relations, Crisis management
November 07, 2019

NYC Marathon Volunteer Takes Final Ton of Discarded Clothing to Drop Box

November 07, 2019/ Mark Remy
NYC Marathon Volunteer Takes Final Ton of Discarded Clothing to Drop Box

Woman opts to avoid dealing with “zoo” at Goodwill store.

Read More
November 07, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
New York City Marathon, Donation, Discarded clothing, Charity
October 30, 2019

Wow! Check Out These 6 Celebs Who Won't Be Running the 2019 NYC Marathon

October 30, 2019/ Mark Remy
Wow! Check Out These 6 Celebs Who Won't Be Running the 2019 NYC Marathon

You might see some A-listers in this year’s field—but these six won’t be among them!

Read More
October 30, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
New York City Marathon, Celebrities, 2019
October 21, 2019

Runner’s High Can’t Come Soon Enough for Marathoner Erupting From Every Orifice

October 21, 2019/ Mark Remy
Runner’s High Can’t Come Soon Enough for Marathoner Erupting From Every Orifice

“Any time now,” thinks man wracked by severe gastrointestinal distress.

Read More
October 21, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Runner's high, Endorphins, Spewing
October 16, 2019

Kipchoge Debates Buying Race Photos vs. Just Sharing Watermarked Versions

October 16, 2019/ Mark Remy
Kipchoge Debates Buying Race Photos vs. Just Sharing Watermarked Versions

Days after historic sub-2:00 performance, world champion weighs expenditure.

Read More
October 16, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
INEOS, Sub-2:00, Eliud Kipchoge, MarathonFoto, Race photos
October 14, 2019

Even Brigid Kosgei Skeptical of Brigid Kosgei’s Marathon World Record

October 14, 2019/ Mark Remy
Even Brigid Kosgei Skeptical of Brigid Kosgei’s Marathon World Record

“It’s so hard anymore to know what’s legit and what isn’t,” says Kenyan runner.

Read More
October 14, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Brigid Kosgei, Chicago Marathon, World Record, Marathons, Women's running, Federico Rosa
October 13, 2019

After 1:59 Marathon, Sales Skyrocket for Whatever It Is That INEOS Sells

October 13, 2019/ Mark Remy
After 1:59 Marathon, Sales Skyrocket for Whatever It Is That INEOS Sells

Title sponsorship of 1:59 marathon event yields immediate dividends.

Read More
October 13, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
INEOS, Marathons, Sub-2:00, Eliud Kipchoge, Marketing
October 12, 2019

Course for INEOS 1:59 Challenge Was Short, Says Sheepish Race Director

October 12, 2019/ Mark Remy
Course for INEOS 1:59 Challenge Was Short, Says Sheepish Race Director

Organizers offer Kipchoge free entry in next year’s event.

Read More
October 12, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
INEOS, Marathons, Eliud Kipchoge, Sub-2:00, Race director
October 07, 2019

Salazar Appears at World Championships as Literal Cloud

October 07, 2019/ Mark Remy
Salazar Appears at World Championships as Literal Cloud

Floating visage overshadows final day of event.

Read More
October 07, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Alberto Salazar, World Championships, Doping, Clouds
October 03, 2019

‘He Won’t Get Far Without This,’ Oregon Project Lab Tech Says After Subject Escapes

October 03, 2019/ Mark Remy
‘He Won’t Get Far Without This,’ Oregon Project Lab Tech Says After Subject Escapes

“I want him alive,” Nike scientist tells security staff.

Read More
October 03, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Oregon Project, Nike, Alberto Salazar, Escape
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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