Beach Runner Executes Flawless Grand Jeté Over Pile of Medical Waste
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A woman running barefoot on a local beach this morning performed a perfect balletic leap midrun, soaring over several pieces of medical waste strewn on the sand, Dumb Runner has learned.
CC Bloom, 28, had headed out for a short run around 8 a.m. and was about one mile in when she spied the biohazard in her path. The detritus consisted of used syringes, rubber tubing, gauze, latex gloves, swabs, and at least one human organ, possibly an appendix.
Without breaking stride and with eyes forward, she launched herself across the pile in what’s known in ballet as a grand jeté—a “full traveling split in mid-air.”
Sources said Bloom, who has no formal dance training, seems to have a natural talent for movement.
“Just last week, I saw her do a tour jeté over a puddle,” said Hillary Whitney Essex, a close friend and running partner. “Later, during the same run, she pulled off a jeté, did a little cabriole midair, and then added a soubresaut at the end, for a little flourish.”
That time, the obstacle was a pool of vomit on a sidewalk outside a bar.
“It’s always so fun to watch,” Essex said. “Sometimes, I deliberately nudge (Bloom) toward some pothole or dog poo as we run, just to see her sail over them.”
