How Was Your Year in Running? Answer These Questions and We'll Tell You!
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Runners, as 2019 winds down, how are you feeling? Are you happy? Disappointed? Angry?
Actually, shut up and let me answer for you: It doesn’t matter how you feel about your year. Feelings are qualitative, which is another way of saying they’re garbage. What you need is to quantify things. Because reducing everything to a number—to something we can track, analyze, and, most important, compare against others—is how we do things now.
It’s much better this way, trust me.
To that end, I’ve spent minutes developing the Dumb Runner RunWorth™ system. It’s designed to convert all those squishy, useless “feelings” into cold, hard data. To find your 2019 RunWorth™ score, simply answer the questions below and learn precisely how satisfied you should be with your year in running.
In 2019, my total mileage was:
a. Higher than I expected.
b. More or less what I expected
c. Less than I expected.
d. A constant source of shame.
My best marathon time this year was:
a. Less than 2 hours, but it wasn’t a marathon exactly, it was a marathon distance and also I had pacers and magic shoes.
b. In the 2- to 3-hour range.
c. In the 3- to 4-hour range.
d. More than 4 hours, and I’m still regretting saying so on the LetsRun.com forums.
Injuries this year left me sidelined:
a. Not at all.
b. Less than a week.
c. Less than a month.
d. Often enough that my sports doc created a special punch card just for me, so that every sixth visit is free.
My core is:
a. So strong!
b. Stronger than it was a year ago.
c. Weaker than it was a year ago.
d. Packed away safely under a thick layer of insulation.
In 2019, I endured social media backlash for:
a. Typing “Marine Corp Marathon” instead of “Marine Corps Marathon.”
b. Cheating in a race.
c. Sexually assaulting a female reporter on live television.
d. Being Alberto Salazar.
I am Alberto Salazar:
a. No.
b. Not sure.
c. Yes, but not that Alberto Salazar.
d. Yes.
This year, I crushed it:
a. Routinely.
b. Often.
c. Rarely.
d. Never.
When I stop to consider my past 12 months of running overall, I feel:
a. Elated.
b. Satisfied.
c. Tired.
d. Disappointed and hungry.
HOW TO CALCULATE YOUR SCORE:
For every “a” answer, give yourself 4 points.
For every “b” answer, give yourself 3 points.
For every “c” answer, give yourself 2 points.
For every “d” answer, give yourself 1 point.
If your RunWorth™ score is 32, congratulations! You are Eliud Kipchoge.
If your RunWorth™ is below 32, sorry. You are not Eliud Kipchoge. Better luck next year.
