Hospitalized Thanksgiving Day Runner Found to Have 0.375 Blood Gravy Level
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A man who collapsed during a Thanksgiving evening run had a blood gravy level nearly four times the safe limit, authorities said.
Hugh Nanton Romney was less than a mile into his post-meal run when he slowed to a walk and appeared disoriented, witnesses said. Soon after that, he collapsed. Medics arrived within minutes and rushed him to a nearby hospital, where he remains in stable condition.
Doctors, noting a savory scent on Romney’s breath and brown stains on his shirt, performed a test and found that the victim’s blood gravy level was 0.375. Blood gravy level (BGL) represents the amount of gravy in your blood. A BGL of .10 means that 0.1% of your bloodstream is composed of gravy.
Dr. Max Yasgur, a doctor who treated Romney, said a 0.375 BGL is dangerously elevated.
“A 170-pound male would have to consume about 11 servings of gravy to hit 0.375,” he said.
One or two servings will result in mild euphoria and decreased inhibition, Yasgur noted; three to five, sluggishness and reduced sensitivity to pain. Anything above six servings of gravy, he said, can lead to vomiting, emotional swings, agitation, and rapid heartbeat.
“So you can imagine what 10 or 11 servings can do to someone,” Yasgur said.
It’s unclear exactly now much gravy he consumed before his run, but a source told Dumb Runner that Romney had tasted it several times as it cooked, and “indulged liberally” during the Thanksgiving meal.
“At one point he was drinking straight from the gravy boat,” the source said. “It was hard to watch.”
By the time dessert was served, Romney appeared bloated and glassy-eyed. Family members exhorted Romney to skip his planned run, but he ignored their advice, the source said, stumbling out the door for a few easy miles.
Ten minutes later, he was down.
Experts, including Dr. Yasgur, said they see such cases too often during the holidays and urge revelers to consume responsibly.
“Gravy is great,” Dr. Yasgur said. “But a little goes a long way.”
