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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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July 07, 2016

Pistorius Remains an Inspiration to Amputee Gun Owners Who Can't Control Their Rage

July 07, 2016/ Mark Remy
Pistorius Remains an Inspiration to Amputee Gun Owners Who Can't Control Their Rage

"Who among us hasn't made a mistake?" asks a fan.

Read More
July 07, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Oscar Pistorius, Blade Runner, Justice, Guns, Rage
July 05, 2016

The Tour de France Is Boring? YOU'RE Boring

July 05, 2016/ Mark Remy
The Tour de France Is Boring? YOU'RE Boring

Shorter stages? More "action"? No thanks.

Read More
July 05, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Tour de France, Cycling, Bicycle racing, Boring, Distance
July 01, 2016

7 Ways Runners Can Celebrate Canada Day

July 01, 2016/ Mark Remy
7 Ways Runners Can Celebrate Canada Day

We respect your desire to mark the occasion, and we are here to help.

Read More
July 01, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Motivation
Canada, Justin Trudeau, Tattoos, Pie
June 29, 2016

Could Short Shorts Be the Key to Global Peace?

June 29, 2016/ Mark Remy
Could Short Shorts Be the Key to Global Peace?

It is virtually impossible to be bellicose or intransigent while wearing them.

Read More
June 29, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Real, Gear
Justin Trudeau, Canada, Shorts, World peace
June 24, 2016

How Will the 'Brexit' Vote Affect Your Running?

June 24, 2016/ Mark Remy
How Will the 'Brexit' Vote Affect Your Running?

Amid anxiety and uncertainty, here is what we know.

Read More
June 24, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News
United Kingdom, Brexit, EU
June 08, 2016

5 Running Clichés That Must Die

June 08, 2016/ Mark Remy

As runners and consumers of news, we deserve better.

Read More
June 08, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News
Clichés, Journalism, Lacing up
May 27, 2016

Awful Things That Could Bite Your Genitals in the Toilet, Ranked

May 27, 2016/ Mark Remy
Awful Things That Could Bite Your Genitals in the Toilet, Ranked

First it was a spider. Now a python. What could be worse?

Read More
May 27, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Porta potty, Bite
May 18, 2016

Dumb Runner Travel Alert: AUSTRALIA

May 18, 2016/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Travel Alert: AUSTRALIA

DO NOT GO THERE. UNLESS YOU ENJOY BEING HIT BY AIRBORNE KANGAROOS.

Read More
May 18, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Paul Hogan, Crocodile Dundee, Kangaroos, Travel, Australia
May 13, 2016

BREAKING: Your Face, if You Taunt This British Runner

May 13, 2016/ Mark Remy
BREAKING: Your Face, if You Taunt This British Runner

An off-duty police officer attacked a man for shouting "Run Forrest Run!" as he jogged by.

Read More
May 13, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Forrest Gump, London
May 10, 2016

Doctors Fear Spike in Patriotism Overdoses

May 10, 2016/ Mark Remy
Doctors Fear Spike in Patriotism Overdoses

Wearers of U.S. flag running shorts are urged to be cautious.

Read More
May 10, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Nutrition
Patriotism, America, Budweiser
May 09, 2016

Mythical '5K Marathon' May Be Real, Researchers Say

May 09, 2016/ Mark Remy
Mythical '5K Marathon' May Be Real, Researchers Say

A decades-old quest leads to some surprising discoveries.

Read More
May 09, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Marathons, 5K, 5K marathon, Research
May 03, 2016

Study: '1-Minute Workouts' Useless When It Comes to Shit You Can't Quantify

May 03, 2016/ Mark Remy
Study: '1-Minute Workouts' Useless When It Comes to Shit You Can't Quantify

And, researchers say, that is "some of the most important shit of all."

Read More
May 03, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Training
Research, High intensity training
April 27, 2016

How to Choose a Porta Potty That DOESN'T Have a Penis-Biting Spider

April 27, 2016/ Mark Remy
How to Choose a Porta Potty That DOESN'T Have a Penis-Biting Spider

For one Australian man, this advice comes too late.

Read More
April 27, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Spiders, Porta potty, Australia, Safety, Penis
April 24, 2016

Eliud Kipchoge Wins London Marathon in Course Record 2:58

April 24, 2016/ Mark Remy
Eliud Kipchoge Wins London Marathon in Course Record 2:58

"I guess it was a pretty soft record," says race director.

Read More
April 24, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Marathons, Racing, Elite runners, London Marathon, Course records
April 14, 2016

9 More Things That Will Get You Banned from the Boston Marathon

April 14, 2016/ Mark Remy
9 More Things That Will Get You Banned from the Boston Marathon

Tread carefully, runners, lest you be barred for life.

Read More
April 14, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Racing, Boston, Boston Marathon
April 08, 2016

This Insane Demon Fish Is the One You See on the Beach Runs of Your Nightmares

April 08, 2016/ Mark Remy

As if I needed another reason to avoid running on sand. 

Read More
April 08, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News
Real, Beach running, Lancetfish, Devil fish, Oregon
April 04, 2016

The Last Satirical Guidebook to Runners You Will Ever Need

April 04, 2016/ Mark Remy
The Last Satirical Guidebook to Runners You Will Ever Need

Read an excerpt from Runners of North America, the perfect book for anyone hoping to understand these exotic creatures.

Read More
April 04, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Motivation
Runners of North America, Gifts, Books, Species, Gifts for Runners
April 04, 2016

Housewife Make Joke With Jogger Stick

April 04, 2016/ Mark Remy
Housewife Make Joke With Jogger Stick

Jogger stick build like fun, but not.

Read More
April 04, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News
Stock photos, Jogging, Jogger stick, Mops
March 18, 2016

Studies Show Music Can Boost Your Running, Right Up to the Moment You're Struck by a Car That You Couldn't Hear

March 18, 2016/ Mark Remy
Studies Show Music Can Boost Your Running, Right Up to the Moment You're Struck by a Car That You Couldn't Hear

Anecdotal evidence appears to back this up.

Read More
March 18, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Motivation
Headphones, Motivation, iPod, Running with music
March 08, 2016

Ask Dr. Dumb: Did Nike Bribe Kenyan Officials?

March 08, 2016/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Did Nike Bribe Kenyan Officials?

A $500,000 "commitment bonus" raises eyebrows. (Not ours, Nike lawyers! Ha ha!)

Read More
March 08, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News
Nike, Dr. Dumb, Kenya, Bribe
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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