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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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September 26, 2017

Local Runner Lets Age Slow Him Down

September 26, 2017/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Lets Age Slow Him Down

For near-octogenarian, injuries and illness take a toll.

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September 26, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Training
Aging, Slow, Training, Couch
September 24, 2017

New Nike Podcast Will Follow Authors Writing Nike Book That Recounts Making of Nike Documentary About Nike Breaking2 Effort

September 24, 2017/ Mark Remy
New Nike Podcast Will Follow Authors Writing Nike Book That Recounts Making of Nike Documentary About Nike Breaking2 Effort

News shines a spotlight on company plagued by publicity and attention.

Read More
September 24, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Breaking2, Nike, Books, Marketing, PR
September 19, 2017

New 'Cholera Caper' Mud Run Series Will Test Athletes' Stamina, Bowels

September 19, 2017/ Mark Remy
New 'Cholera Caper' Mud Run Series Will Test Athletes' Stamina, Bowels

An event director, bored with traditional adventure races, adds an explosive element.

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September 19, 2017/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Mud runs, Cholera, Bowels, Violent diarrhea, Fads
September 17, 2017

Running Brand's Social Media Manager Clearly Starting to Lose Mind

September 17, 2017/ Mark Remy
Running Brand's Social Media Manager Clearly Starting to Lose Mind

"The first time she used the word runcation in a tweet, I think, was the beginning of the end."

Read More
September 17, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Clickbait, Social media
September 12, 2017

Runners Marvel at Strange Symbols Painted on City Streets

September 12, 2017/ Mark Remy
Runners Marvel at Strange Symbols Painted on City Streets

Cryptic artwork fuels speculation and wonder.

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September 12, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Cycling, Bikes, Stencils, Symbols
September 10, 2017

Selfish Jerk to Run Marathon Just for Himself

September 10, 2017/ Mark Remy
Selfish Jerk to Run Marathon Just for Himself

Runners react with revulsion and disbelief.

Read More
September 10, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Marathons, Selfish, Jerk, Charity
September 05, 2017

'You Got This,' Disembodied Head of Jerry Orbach Tells Runner in Marathon's Final Miles

September 05, 2017/ Mark Remy
'You Got This,' Disembodied Head of Jerry Orbach Tells Runner in Marathon's Final Miles

Large, floating hallucination urges man to continue.

Read More
September 05, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Marathons, Racing, The wall, Jerry Orbach, Law & Order
August 22, 2017

Rejected Marriage Proposal at Mile 13 Makes Second Half of Marathon Awkward

August 22, 2017/ Mark Remy
Rejected Marriage Proposal at Mile 13 Makes Second Half of Marathon Awkward

After an uncomfortable silence, couple rejoin the race.

Read More
August 22, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Marathons, Marriage, Spurned suitor
August 20, 2017

Runners, Here Is Your Solar Eclipse FAQ

August 20, 2017/ Mark Remy
Runners, Here Is Your Solar Eclipse FAQ

How will the eclipse affect my form? and other pressing questions, answered.
 

Read More
August 20, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Eclipse, Totality, Eyewear
August 15, 2017

Woman Who Runs 'to Escape the News' Hasn't Stopped Since Last Wednesday

August 15, 2017/ Mark Remy
Woman Who Runs 'to Escape the News' Hasn't Stopped Since Last Wednesday

"I was just, like, you know what? I'm going for a run."

Read More
August 15, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Motivation
News, Coping mechanism, Stress
August 13, 2017

We Have an Audacious Goal, and You Can Help (Bonus: With Video!)

August 13, 2017/ Mark Remy
We Have an Audacious Goal, and You Can Help (Bonus: With Video!)

If you regularly enjoy our stuff, please give us a few minutes of your time.

Read More
August 13, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Pledge drive, Support Dumb Runner, Patreon, Audacity
August 13, 2017

Wow! Check Out These 5 Celebs Who Won't Be Running the 2017 NYC Marathon

August 13, 2017/ Mark Remy
Wow! Check Out These 5 Celebs Who Won't Be Running the 2017 NYC Marathon

Can these marquee names handle 26.2? The question is moot!

Read More
August 13, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Celebrities, Marathons, New York City Marathon, Wow
August 10, 2017

This Isn't Funny

August 10, 2017/ Mark Remy
This Isn't Funny

A note to readers—and to critics.

Read More
August 10, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Satire, Nuclear war
August 08, 2017

Stock Photo Model Is Surprise Winner at World Championships Marathon

August 08, 2017/ Mark Remy
Stock Photo Model Is Surprise Winner at World Championships Marathon

The man, known only as Portrait of a Race Winner ID#175248024, finished in 2:08:12.

Read More
August 08, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Elite runners, Marathons, Stock photos, World Championships
August 01, 2017

Woman Pretty Sure 5K's Ban on Strollers Doesn't Apply to Her

August 01, 2017/ Mark Remy
Woman Pretty Sure 5K's Ban on Strollers Doesn't Apply to Her

Local mom brushes aside "legal mumbo-jumbo."

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August 01, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
5K, Racing, Stroller, Rules
July 30, 2017

Tattoos Make Runners Look Cool, Researchers Find

July 30, 2017/ Mark Remy
Tattoos Make Runners Look Cool, Researchers Find

A study confirms a long-held belief—with one exception.

Read More
July 30, 2017/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Research, Tattoos, Cool, Science
July 23, 2017

11 Terrible Jokes for Runners

July 23, 2017/ Mark Remy
11 Terrible Jokes for Runners

Warning: They really are terrible.

Read More
July 23, 2017/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Jokes
July 18, 2017

Local Runner Hopes to Pass Love of Obsessively Recording and Tracking Data Along to Children

July 18, 2017/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Hopes to Pass Love of Obsessively Recording and Tracking Data Along to Children

A father of two aims to lead by example.

Read More
July 18, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Training
Strava, Fitbit, Data, Parenthood, Training
July 17, 2017

Catcalling Motorist Rear-Ends Full Septic Truck, According to Runner's Fantasy

July 17, 2017/ Mark Remy
Catcalling Motorist Rear-Ends Full Septic Truck, According to Runner's Fantasy

Imaginary collision sends 4,500 gallons of sewage pouring into vehicle.

Read More
July 17, 2017/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Septic truck, Human waste, Convertible, Catcalling, Fantasy
July 11, 2017

How Running Helped Me Lose 65 Pounds, and My Keys

July 11, 2017/ Tina Turner
How Running Helped Me Lose 65  Pounds, and My Keys

"I've run at least two dozen more 5Ks, and lost more sets of keys than I can remember."

Read More
July 11, 2017/ Tina Turner/
Satire, News
Weight loss, Inspiration
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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