Catcalling Motorist Rear-Ends Full Septic Truck, According to Runner's Fantasy

 istockphoto.com

istockphoto.com

Moments after harassing a small group of local runners, a motorist slammed into the back of a full septic truck, according to one runner's fantasy.

The collision sent 4,500 gallons of raw human sewage pouring into the man's vehicle, a late-model convertible with the top down. Because he was screaming in terror, the runner's fantasy reported, much of the waste found its way into his mouth.

It was a stunning turn of events for the unnamed man, who had just passed the runners, three area women who often run together. As he drove by, the man slowed to leer at the runners, shouting, "Oh yeah" and "Love those ******s, ladies, mmmm" among other lascivious remarks.

The truck, which was stopped just around a bend in the road, had just filled its tank at a local Mexican food festival, according to the fantasy. The fantasy also reported that the man in the convertible had "floored it" after making his remarks to the runners, so was traveling at a high rate of speed as he rounded the curve and met the truck blocking his way.

With no time to react, the runner imagined, the man rammed the back of the truck at speed, sending the contents of its full tank—which were warm, thanks to the hot, sunny weather—into the man's open car "like a tsunami of urine and feces."

The man's car had just been washed, waxed, and detailed, the runner's fantasy said, at a car wash where the man berated two employees for unevenly applying leather conditioner to his car's seats and failed to tip any of the workers.

According to the runner's fantasy, the motorist was unavailable for comment, because of the violent illness he'd contracted after swallowing at least half a gallon of the septic truck's contents.