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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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February 20, 2019

Trail Runner Hospitalized After Becoming Overly Stoked

February 20, 2019/ Mark Remy
Trail Runner Hospitalized After Becoming Overly Stoked

California man is stable but unresponsive.

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February 20, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Stoked, Hospital, Safety, Trail running
February 15, 2019

72 Reasons to Support Dumb Runner

February 15, 2019/ Mark Remy
72 Reasons to Support Dumb Runner

And that’s a conservative number.

Read More
February 15, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Pledge drive, Originality, Support Dumb Runner, Gratitude
February 06, 2019

Ask Dr. Dumb: How to Survive a Mountain Lion Encounter

February 06, 2019/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: How to Survive a Mountain Lion Encounter

A recent news story raises a few questions.

Read More
February 06, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Mountain lion, Cats, News, Dr. Dumb
February 03, 2019

Guest Opinion: If You're Running With Me and It's Freezing and We Get Lost, I Will Not Hesitate to Slice You Open Like a Tauntaun and Warm Myself on Your Steaming Intestines

February 03, 2019/ Mark Remy
Guest Opinion: If You're Running With Me and It's Freezing and We Get Lost, I Will Not Hesitate to Slice You Open Like a Tauntaun and Warm Myself on Your Steaming Intestines

Just so you know.

Read More
February 03, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Training
Cold, Weather, Star Wars, Tauntauns, Survival, Opinion
January 28, 2019

Safety Pin Enters Abdomen

January 28, 2019/ Mark Remy
Safety Pin Enters Abdomen

“Ow!” says local runner.

Read More
January 28, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News
Bib number, Safety pins, Skin, Ouch
January 18, 2019

RunnersWorld.com Homepage Just One Big Affiliate Link

January 18, 2019/ Mark Remy
RunnersWorld.com Homepage Just One Big Affiliate Link

Legacy media brand takes e-commerce to the next level.

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January 18, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Runner's World, Affiliate links, E-commerce, Sad
January 16, 2019

Sexually Awakened Jogger Discovers Own Body

January 16, 2019/ Mark Remy
Sexually Awakened Jogger Discovers Own Body

For local woman, post-workout routine takes a sensual turn.

Read More
January 16, 2019/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Sexual liberation, Joggers, Discovery, Sensual pleasure
December 23, 2018

Gift-Giving Aunt Hopes You're 'Still Into Jogging'

December 23, 2018/ Mark Remy
Gift-Giving Aunt Hopes You're 'Still Into Jogging'

Aging relative awaits reaction to Christmas present.

Read More
December 23, 2018/ Mark Remy/
News, Gear, Satire
Holidays, Christmas, Aunts, Gifts
December 19, 2018

Year in Review: Dumb Runner’s 12 Most Popular Articles of 2018

December 19, 2018/ Mark Remy
Year in Review: Dumb Runner’s 12 Most Popular Articles of 2018

If you read just one Dumb Runner article this year, make it this one.

Read More
December 19, 2018/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
2018, Most Popular
December 12, 2018

'What's the Deal With Blisters?' Runner Asks Stone-Faced Audience at Open Mic Night

December 12, 2018/ Mark Remy
'What's the Deal With Blisters?' Runner Asks Stone-Faced Audience at Open Mic Night

“Is this thing on?” man asks.

Read More
December 12, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Comedy, Standup, Blisters, Running humor, Inside jokes
December 10, 2018

Rolling Stone Gives Meb K Christmas Album 5/5 Stars

December 10, 2018/ Mark Remy
Rolling Stone Gives Meb K Christmas Album 5/5 Stars

“We knew Mr. Keflezighi could run. Who knew he could sing, too?”

Read More
December 10, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Christmas, Holidays, Meb Keflezighi, Swingin' Standards
December 05, 2018

MarathonFoto Launches Chain of Family Portrait Studios

December 05, 2018/ Mark Remy
MarathonFoto Launches Chain of Family Portrait Studios

FamilyFoto will apply the company’s approach to a new market.

Read More
December 05, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Racing, Marathons, MarathonFoto, Race photos
December 03, 2018

What to Say When Your Child Asks If Santa Is Real and Also Why Santa Shat Himself in That Jingle Bell Half-Marathon

December 03, 2018/ Mark Remy
What to Say When Your Child Asks If Santa Is Real and Also Why Santa Shat Himself in That Jingle Bell Half-Marathon

Expert advice on a perennial problem.

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December 03, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Santa Claus, Shitting oneself, Jingle Bell, Holidays, Childlike wonder
November 28, 2018

Newly Discovered Cave Paintings Depict Runners Mocking Jogger

November 28, 2018/ Mark Remy
Newly Discovered Cave Paintings Depict Runners Mocking Jogger

Artwork is earliest known reference to “joggers vs. runners” division.

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November 28, 2018/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Prehistory, Cave paintings, Joggers, Archaeology
November 26, 2018

In Total Coincidence, Man Picks Up Pace at Exact Moment Woman Tries to Pass

November 26, 2018/ Mark Remy
In Total Coincidence, Man Picks Up Pace at Exact Moment Woman Tries to Pass

Runner in trail race chooses completely random moment to dig deep.

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November 26, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Racing, Men, Passing, Ego
November 21, 2018

Guy's Shirt Kind of Brings Whole Turkey Trot Down

November 21, 2018/ Mark Remy
Guy's Shirt Kind of Brings Whole Turkey Trot Down

“MEAT IS MURDER” message casts pall over Thanksgiving 5K.

Read More
November 21, 2018/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Thanksgiving, Meat, Vegetarian
November 13, 2018

11 Other Distractions for Rowan University's Football Team

November 13, 2018/ Mark Remy
11 Other Distractions for Rowan University's Football Team

Sports bras are just the beginning.

Read More
November 13, 2018/ Mark Remy/
News, Real, Satire
Football, Distraction, Sports bras, Women's running, Patriarchy, Bullshit
November 11, 2018

Study: Just 15 Minutes of Running Can Boost Brian

November 11, 2018/ Mark Remy
Study: Just 15 Minutes of Running Can Boost Brian

Researchers call results “remarkable.”

Read More
November 11, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Brian, Research
November 06, 2018

You Can Steal a Magazine Without Being a Total Asshole

November 06, 2018/ Mark Remy
You Can Steal a Magazine Without Being a Total Asshole

You shouldn’t steal. But if you must…

Read More
November 06, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Theft, Magazines, Bandits
November 05, 2018

Passerby Realizes He Can Just Waltz Right In to Post-Race Tent and Start Rubbing Strangers

November 05, 2018/ Mark Remy
Passerby Realizes He Can Just Waltz Right In to Post-Race Tent and Start Rubbing Strangers

“What can I say? I enjoy touching people.”

Read More
November 05, 2018/ Mark Remy/
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    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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