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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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August 02, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #110: 'Weekends'

August 02, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #110: 'Weekends'

The math checks out.

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August 02, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Training
Comics, Long runs, Math
July 31, 2024

Anxious Kipchoge Googles ‘How to Say Which Way to Marathon Start in French’

July 31, 2024/ Mark Remy
Anxious Kipchoge Googles ‘How to Say Which Way to Marathon Start in French’

Online search just one of several for Paris-bound runner.

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July 31, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Olympics, Eliud Kipchoge, Google, France, Marathons
July 22, 2024

Running Group’s Pledge to ‘Never Discuss Politics’ Tested Like Never Before

July 22, 2024/ Mark Remy
Running Group’s Pledge to ‘Never Discuss Politics’ Tested Like Never Before

Tension reaches unbearable levels.

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July 22, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Group runs, Talk, Politics, News
July 19, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #109: 'Lifespan'

July 19, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #109: 'Lifespan'

Can’t put a price on a PR.

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July 19, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Gear
Comics, Running shoes, New Shoes, Consumerism, Running stores, Money
July 08, 2024

Man Who Routinely Runs Distances Up to 20 Miles Spends 4 Minutes in Parking Lot Trying to Find Spot Closest to Store Entrance

July 08, 2024/ Mark Remy
Man Who Routinely Runs Distances Up to 20 Miles Spends 4 Minutes in Parking Lot Trying to Find Spot Closest to Store Entrance

Highly trained athlete avoids two minutes of walking.

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July 08, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Motorists, Lazy, Distance, Parking lots
July 05, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #108: 'Jeopardy!'

July 05, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #108: 'Jeopardy!'

Keep it simple, Gary.

Read More
July 05, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Jeopardy!, Game show, Marathons, Distance, Esoterica
July 03, 2024

Local Woman Relieved to Learn Naked Run Through Neighborhood Was Just a Dream … OR WAS IT?

July 03, 2024/ Mark Remy
Local Woman Relieved to Learn Naked Run Through Neighborhood Was Just a Dream … OR WAS IT?

Avid runner not sure what to believe.

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July 03, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Dreams, Running shoes, Sleep, Nudity
July 01, 2024

Newly Formed Sports Language Council Announces $500 Fine for Runners Who Use the Word ‘Hammy’

July 01, 2024/ Mark Remy
Newly Formed Sports Language Council Announces $500 Fine for Runners Who Use the Word ‘Hammy’

First-time offenders will get a warning, group says.

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July 01, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Language, Sports Language Council, Hamstring, Hammy, Penalty
June 19, 2024

Respectful Runner Hocks Massive Loogie in Cemetery as Quietly as Possible

June 19, 2024/ Mark Remy
Respectful Runner Hocks Massive Loogie in Cemetery as Quietly as Possible

Local man mouths “Sorry for your loss” to nearby mourner.

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June 19, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Cemeteries, Respect, Death, Graves, Mourners, Etiquette, Loogies
June 17, 2024

Old Runner at End of Bar Ranting Again About Demise of ‘Running Times’ Magazine

June 17, 2024/ Mark Remy
Old Runner at End of Bar Ranting Again About Demise of ‘Running Times’ Magazine

Senior man mourns niche title that closed years ago.

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June 17, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Running Times, Nostalgia, Beer, Wistfulness, Old
June 05, 2024

Local Motorist Fuming at Marathon Road Closures That Were Publicized For Months in Advance Via Street Signs, Flyers, Social Media, TV, Radio, Local Paper, and Vintage Biplane Towing Banner

June 05, 2024/ Mark Remy
Local Motorist Fuming at Marathon Road Closures That Were Publicized For Months in Advance Via Street Signs, Flyers, Social Media, TV, Radio, Local Paper, and Vintage Biplane Towing Banner

“What the hell?” man asks.

Read More
June 05, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Road closures, Motorists, Anger, Vintage biplane
June 03, 2024

Local Runner Has Perfect Comeback for Driver Who Heckled Him

June 03, 2024/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Has Perfect Comeback for Driver Who Heckled Him

Devastating retort materializes 16 hours after encounter.

Read More
June 03, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Motorists, Anger, Retorts, Heckling, Harrassment, Insomnia
May 31, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #106: 'Resume'

May 31, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #106: 'Resume'

Apart from “Boston,” what are your qualifications?

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May 31, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Marathons, Job interview, Resume, Weakness
May 29, 2024

Anonymous Kudos Slipped Under Door Starting to Freak Local Runner Out

May 29, 2024/ Mark Remy
Anonymous Kudos Slipped Under Door Starting to Freak Local Runner Out

Unsigned cards are also appearing on car and at workplace, man says.

Read More
May 29, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Strava, Kudos, Anonymity, Creepy
May 22, 2024

‘Ghost of Prefontaine’ Actually Hayward Field Groundskeeper in Disguise, Amateur Sleuths Reveal

May 22, 2024/ Mark Remy
‘Ghost of Prefontaine’ Actually Hayward Field Groundskeeper in Disguise, Amateur Sleuths Reveal

“It’s Old Man Ruby!” officer exclaims.

Read More
May 22, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Hayward Field, Meddling kids, Clumsy disguise, Steve Prefontaine, Scooby-Doo
May 16, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #105: 'Fortune'

May 16, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #105: 'Fortune'

“A stranger will offer you a cup of water.”

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May 16, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Future, Fortune teller, Predictions, Crystal ball, Spooky
May 13, 2024

In Major Shift, USATF Says Competitors May Ignore Any Rule They Think Is Stupid

May 13, 2024/ Mark Remy
In Major Shift, USATF Says Competitors May Ignore Any Rule They Think Is Stupid

“Times change, and we must change with them,” says governing body.

Read More
May 13, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
USATF, Rules, Marathons
May 08, 2024

'Oh, I Used to Run Marathons,' Says Smirking Woman Who Refuses to Elaborate

May 08, 2024/ Mark Remy
'Oh, I Used to Run Marathons,' Says Smirking Woman Who Refuses to Elaborate

Cryptic remarks hang in the air, like so much cigarette smoke.

Read More
May 08, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Cigarettes, Alcohol, Rueful, Bitterness, Mysteries
May 06, 2024

‘Totally Jacked’ Kipchoge Reveals New Self on Cover of Runner's World

May 06, 2024/ Mark Remy
‘Totally Jacked’ Kipchoge Reveals New Self on Cover of Runner's World

Marathon legend is clearly happy with chiseled physique.

Read More
May 06, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Eliud Kipchoge, Runner's World, Muscles, Totally jacked, Media
May 03, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #104: 'Rest'

May 03, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #104: 'Rest'

Every little bit helps.

Read More
May 03, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Rest, Mara, Air travel, Piggyback
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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