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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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May 13, 2016

BREAKING: Your Face, if You Taunt This British Runner

May 13, 2016/ Mark Remy
BREAKING: Your Face, if You Taunt This British Runner

An off-duty police officer attacked a man for shouting "Run Forrest Run!" as he jogged by.

Read More
May 13, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Forrest Gump, London
May 10, 2016

Doctors Fear Spike in Patriotism Overdoses

May 10, 2016/ Mark Remy
Doctors Fear Spike in Patriotism Overdoses

Wearers of U.S. flag running shorts are urged to be cautious.

Read More
May 10, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Nutrition
Patriotism, America, Budweiser
May 09, 2016

Mythical '5K Marathon' May Be Real, Researchers Say

May 09, 2016/ Mark Remy
Mythical '5K Marathon' May Be Real, Researchers Say

A decades-old quest leads to some surprising discoveries.

Read More
May 09, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Marathons, 5K, 5K marathon, Research
May 03, 2016

Study: '1-Minute Workouts' Useless When It Comes to Shit You Can't Quantify

May 03, 2016/ Mark Remy
Study: '1-Minute Workouts' Useless When It Comes to Shit You Can't Quantify

And, researchers say, that is "some of the most important shit of all."

Read More
May 03, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Training
Research, High intensity training
April 27, 2016

How to Choose a Porta Potty That DOESN'T Have a Penis-Biting Spider

April 27, 2016/ Mark Remy
How to Choose a Porta Potty That DOESN'T Have a Penis-Biting Spider

For one Australian man, this advice comes too late.

Read More
April 27, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Spiders, Porta potty, Australia, Safety, Penis
April 24, 2016

Eliud Kipchoge Wins London Marathon in Course Record 2:58

April 24, 2016/ Mark Remy
Eliud Kipchoge Wins London Marathon in Course Record 2:58

"I guess it was a pretty soft record," says race director.

Read More
April 24, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Marathons, Racing, Elite runners, London Marathon, Course records
April 14, 2016

9 More Things That Will Get You Banned from the Boston Marathon

April 14, 2016/ Mark Remy
9 More Things That Will Get You Banned from the Boston Marathon

Tread carefully, runners, lest you be barred for life.

Read More
April 14, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Racing, Boston, Boston Marathon
April 08, 2016

This Insane Demon Fish Is the One You See on the Beach Runs of Your Nightmares

April 08, 2016/ Mark Remy

As if I needed another reason to avoid running on sand. 

Read More
April 08, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News
Real, Beach running, Lancetfish, Devil fish, Oregon
April 04, 2016

The Last Satirical Guidebook to Runners You Will Ever Need

April 04, 2016/ Mark Remy
The Last Satirical Guidebook to Runners You Will Ever Need

Read an excerpt from Runners of North America, the perfect book for anyone hoping to understand these exotic creatures.

Read More
April 04, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Motivation
Runners of North America, Gifts, Books, Species, Gifts for Runners
April 04, 2016

Housewife Make Joke With Jogger Stick

April 04, 2016/ Mark Remy
Housewife Make Joke With Jogger Stick

Jogger stick build like fun, but not.

Read More
April 04, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News
Stock photos, Jogging, Jogger stick, Mops
March 18, 2016

Studies Show Music Can Boost Your Running, Right Up to the Moment You're Struck by a Car That You Couldn't Hear

March 18, 2016/ Mark Remy
Studies Show Music Can Boost Your Running, Right Up to the Moment You're Struck by a Car That You Couldn't Hear

Anecdotal evidence appears to back this up.

Read More
March 18, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Motivation
Headphones, Motivation, iPod, Running with music
March 08, 2016

Ask Dr. Dumb: Did Nike Bribe Kenyan Officials?

March 08, 2016/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Did Nike Bribe Kenyan Officials?

A $500,000 "commitment bonus" raises eyebrows. (Not ours, Nike lawyers! Ha ha!)

Read More
March 08, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News
Nike, Dr. Dumb, Kenya, Bribe
March 01, 2016

NRA Tweets to Runners, Shoots Self in Foot

March 01, 2016/ Mark Remy
NRA Tweets to Runners, Shoots Self in Foot

They didn't exactly get the responses they were hoping for.

Read More
March 01, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News
Guns, NRA, Twitter, Fear
February 25, 2016

What the 'Portlandia' Marathon Got Wrong

February 25, 2016/ Mark Remy
What the 'Portlandia' Marathon Got Wrong

Sorry, but someone had to say this.

Read More
February 25, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News
Portlandia, Marathons, Fred Armisen, Carrie Brownstein, Racing
February 18, 2016

The Ugly Side of 'Nice Guy' Meb Keflezighi

February 18, 2016/ Mark Remy
The Ugly Side of 'Nice Guy' Meb Keflezighi

He was not kind, recalls a former Blockbuster employee.

Read More
February 18, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Meb Keflezighi, Elite runners, Nice
February 04, 2016

Running With Your Gun: FAQ

February 04, 2016/ Mark Remy
Running With Your Gun: FAQ

How to ensure accidents don't happen? With education, that's how.

Read More
February 04, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Gear
Guns
February 02, 2016

Quiz: Are You a Good Runner?

February 02, 2016/ Mark Remy
Quiz: Are You a Good Runner?

Or are you just awful? Answer a few questions and find out.

Read More
February 02, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News
Badwater 135, Character, Quiz
January 26, 2016

Sanders, Trump Agree to 'Runoff' in Iowa

January 26, 2016/ Mark Remy
Sanders, Trump Agree to 'Runoff' in Iowa

With caucuses less than a week away, another race looms.

Read More
January 26, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Donald Trump, Bernie Sanders, 2016 election, Politics
January 18, 2016

Farewell Ryan Hall, the Martin Riggs of Road Racing

January 18, 2016/ Mark Remy
Farewell Ryan Hall, the Martin Riggs of Road Racing

Only now that he's retiring do I fully grasp the essence of Ryan Hall's appeal.

Read More
January 18, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News
Ryan Hall, Lethal Weapon, Martin Riggs, Retirement
January 12, 2016

If I Win the Powerball Jackpot, I Will Register for a Rock 'n' Roll Race

January 12, 2016/ Mark Remy
If I Win the Powerball Jackpot, I Will Register for a Rock 'n' Roll Race

Extravagant? Ostentatious? A vulgar display of obscene wealth? Perhaps. I don't care.

Read More
January 12, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Racing, Rock 'n' Roll Marathon, Entry fees, Powerball
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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