NRA Tweets to Runners, Shoots Self in Foot

Readers, did you know that the NRA had a blog?

Did you further know that this blog had a Twitter account?

On top of all that, did you know that whoever is in charge of the NRA blog—which, it turns out, is named "NRA Blog"—recently thought it would be a good idea to tweet this?

Well, all of the above are true facts. Several of you brought these true facts to our attention via social media, without which, honestly, we don't know how we would ever find enough funny things to write about. How Erma Bombeck managed, we'll never know.


So: Runners! What do you carry when you head out for a workout?

If you answered "Gu," you're close, but not quite there.

If you answered "gub," you're wrong, but you get bonus points for the arcane Woody Allen reference. Nice work.

The correct answer is "gun," of course, because this is 21st century America and, well, here we are.

See, "Paul" knows what's up:

Many others, however, apparently did not get the memo, because the poor folks at NRA Blog got an awful lot of incorrect answers. Like these...

They also heard from some who didn't even try to answer the question:

In one of our favorite exchanges, which seems to have been deleted, one response went something like this: "Not a gun, because I don't live in fear."

To which someone replied, totally sincere and not at all concern-trolling: "Why would you think someone who runs with a gun lives in fear?"

To which we replied, to ourselves: Why would anyone think that folks who carry loaded guns around all the time are motivated by fear? Oh, we dunno...

The good news is, the folks at NRA Blog apparently got enough correct answers amid all the incorrect ones that they were able to cobble together a post titled 8 Concealed Carry Guns For Runners. They also threw in some FBI crime statistics, but JUST AS AN FYI, GUYS, NOT BECAUSE OF FEAR.

No matter which gun you choose for running, we will leave you with a few tips:

  • Don't forget to tuck your loaded gun into the waistband of your tights, per the photo in NRA Blog's tweet.
  • Wear your earbuds, also per the photo. 
  • Keep your focus on your immediate environment, not on distracting thoughts such as, What are the odds I'll injure or kill myself or an innocent bystander with my gun? or If I am attacked, what if my gun gets away from me? or Wait, did I really think this through?
  • Consider taking two guns with you when you run, just in case you lose one en route.

Most important: Be safe out there. The world is indeed a scary, scary place.