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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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October 24, 2016

Endorsement: Meb Keflezighi for President

October 24, 2016/ Mark Remy
Endorsement: Meb Keflezighi for President

He is charming, pleasant, self-effacing... and incredibly tough.

Read More
October 24, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
President, 2016 election, Meb Keflezighi, America
October 19, 2016

Woman Runs Entire Marathon While Juggling Career, Family

October 19, 2016/ Mark Remy
Woman Runs Entire Marathon While Juggling Career, Family

Pending verification, it's a new Guinness World Record.

Read More
October 19, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Marathons, Juggling
October 10, 2016

Nipple-Free Males 'Almost a Reality,' Say Researchers

October 10, 2016/ Mark Remy
Nipple-Free Males 'Almost a Reality,' Say Researchers

A genetics breakthrough has runners talking.

Read More
October 10, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Nipples, Genes, Chafing, Science, Research
October 03, 2016

70% of Americans Unable to Locate 'Core' on Map of Body

October 03, 2016/ Mark Remy
70% of Americans Unable to Locate 'Core' on Map of Body

"You can't blast your core," researchers say, "if you don't know where to blast."

Read More
October 03, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Polls, Core
September 19, 2016

Man Enjoys Running

September 19, 2016/ Mark Remy
Man Enjoys Running

"My enjoyment level," he says, "is high. For sure."

Read More
September 19, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Running, Enjoyment
August 31, 2016

Local Runner Worried She'll Never Crush a Race

August 31, 2016/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Worried She'll Never Crush a Race

A long list of running accomplishments remains incomplete.

Read More
August 31, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Racing, Sad, Crush
August 30, 2016

Hey, Runners! Did Your State Make the List?

August 30, 2016/ Mark Remy
Hey, Runners! Did Your State Make the List?

You'll have to click to find out.

Read More
August 30, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
States, Rankings, Clickbait
August 22, 2016

Olympic Runner Admits Doping With Jesus

August 22, 2016/ Mark Remy
Olympic Runner Admits Doping With Jesus

Almaz Ayana had denied rumors of cheating since winning the 10,000 meters—until recently.

Read More
August 22, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Jesus, Doping, Rio 2016, Olympics
July 18, 2016

Runners Praise Makers of Pokémon GO

July 18, 2016/ Mark Remy
Runners Praise Makers of Pokémon GO

"No longer are we the public's number-one object of ridicule," says a national group.

Read More
July 18, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Pokemon GO, Ridicule, Press conference
July 07, 2016

Pistorius Remains an Inspiration to Amputee Gun Owners Who Can't Control Their Rage

July 07, 2016/ Mark Remy
Pistorius Remains an Inspiration to Amputee Gun Owners Who Can't Control Their Rage

"Who among us hasn't made a mistake?" asks a fan.

Read More
July 07, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Oscar Pistorius, Blade Runner, Justice, Guns, Rage
June 20, 2016

Copernicus Is First Renaissance Mathematician and Astronomer to Grace Cover of Women's Running Magazine

June 20, 2016/ Mark Remy
Copernicus Is First Renaissance Mathematician and Astronomer to Grace Cover of Women's Running Magazine

Father of heliocentrism a "logical choice."

Read More
June 20, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Magazines, Copernicus, Magazine covers, Newsstand sales
May 27, 2016

Awful Things That Could Bite Your Genitals in the Toilet, Ranked

May 27, 2016/ Mark Remy
Awful Things That Could Bite Your Genitals in the Toilet, Ranked

First it was a spider. Now a python. What could be worse?

Read More
May 27, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Porta potty, Bite
May 10, 2016

Doctors Fear Spike in Patriotism Overdoses

May 10, 2016/ Mark Remy
Doctors Fear Spike in Patriotism Overdoses

Wearers of U.S. flag running shorts are urged to be cautious.

Read More
May 10, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Nutrition
Patriotism, America, Budweiser
May 09, 2016

Mythical '5K Marathon' May Be Real, Researchers Say

May 09, 2016/ Mark Remy
Mythical '5K Marathon' May Be Real, Researchers Say

A decades-old quest leads to some surprising discoveries.

Read More
May 09, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Marathons, 5K, 5K marathon, Research
May 03, 2016

Study: '1-Minute Workouts' Useless When It Comes to Shit You Can't Quantify

May 03, 2016/ Mark Remy
Study: '1-Minute Workouts' Useless When It Comes to Shit You Can't Quantify

And, researchers say, that is "some of the most important shit of all."

Read More
May 03, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Training
Research, High intensity training
April 27, 2016

How to Choose a Porta Potty That DOESN'T Have a Penis-Biting Spider

April 27, 2016/ Mark Remy
How to Choose a Porta Potty That DOESN'T Have a Penis-Biting Spider

For one Australian man, this advice comes too late.

Read More
April 27, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Spiders, Porta potty, Australia, Safety, Penis
April 24, 2016

Eliud Kipchoge Wins London Marathon in Course Record 2:58

April 24, 2016/ Mark Remy
Eliud Kipchoge Wins London Marathon in Course Record 2:58

"I guess it was a pretty soft record," says race director.

Read More
April 24, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Marathons, Racing, Elite runners, London Marathon, Course records
April 14, 2016

9 More Things That Will Get You Banned from the Boston Marathon

April 14, 2016/ Mark Remy
9 More Things That Will Get You Banned from the Boston Marathon

Tread carefully, runners, lest you be barred for life.

Read More
April 14, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Racing, Boston, Boston Marathon
April 01, 2016

NRA Calls For Live Ammo in Starter Pistols

April 01, 2016/ Mark Remy
NRA Calls For Live Ammo in Starter Pistols

Proposal from gun rights group meets with universal praise.

Read More
April 01, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Guns, NRA, Track meets
March 18, 2016

Studies Show Music Can Boost Your Running, Right Up to the Moment You're Struck by a Car That You Couldn't Hear

March 18, 2016/ Mark Remy
Studies Show Music Can Boost Your Running, Right Up to the Moment You're Struck by a Car That You Couldn't Hear

Anecdotal evidence appears to back this up.

Read More
March 18, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Motivation
Headphones, Motivation, iPod, Running with music
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  • Running 101/
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    • NEW BOOK! "The Running Dictionary"
    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
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    • 2026 Wall Calendar
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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