In all our history, Dumb Runner has never endorsed a candidate for President of the United States. This year, however, we felt compelled to break with tradition. This year, the stakes are simply too high, the outcome too important, for us to remain silent.
That first decision, to make an endorsement, turned out to be the easy one. Much harder was deciding which candidate to endorse—and why.
In an election cycle as tumultuous, divisive, and, frankly, brutal as this one, this was no easy task.
Do we endorse Hillary Clinton, a candidate with extensive experience but beset by scandal and distrusted by huge swaths of the electorate? Or do we get behind Donald Trump, an "outsider" who promises radical change, on one hand, but who on the other hand is a walking sack of feces?
These were the questions we were grappling with when we realized that, from our perspective, we had just one clear choice—and that was to endorse Mebrahtom "Meb" Keflezighi for President of the United States.
Here is why.
His Stamina Is Without Equal
And we all know how important stamina is. A longtime marathon runner, Mr. Keflezighi, 41, has tremendous physical endurance and mental strength.
He Is Trained to Persevere
An obstructionist Congress would be no match for Mr. Keflezighi's "never give up" attitude.
His Backstory Is an Inspiration
Mr. Keflezighi's parents fled war in Eritrea, ultimately landing in San Diego in 1987. Not only would a President Keflezighi be testament to the idea of America as melting pot, he would be uniquely qualified to address today's refugee crisis.
He Has a Long History of Representing Our Nation With Pride
Mr. Keflezighi has run for Team USA in consecutive Olympic Games, and in 2014 became the first American man to win the Boston Marathon since 1983.
He Is Strong Yet Humble
After all, Mr. Keflezighi has spent much of his adult life wearing short shorts. As we have noted in this space before:
(I)t is virtually impossible to be loud, arrogant, bellicose, or intransigent while wearing short shorts. Because when you're wearing short shorts you're always feeling a little ridiculous. As you should. Short shorts are a wearable, constant reminder of just how silly we all are. And how vulnerable.
It's time America had a leader who knows this, and knows it well.
Honestly, just look at it. Mr. Keflezighi's grin alone would be enough to win the hearts and minds of Congressional leaders and foreign heads of state alike.
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We understand fully that Mr. Keflezighi is only human. As such, he is far from perfect. For one thing, as we ourselves have reported, his "nice guy" reputation is not entirely deserved.
For another, he was born in Eritrea. The Constitution states that only "natural-born" U.S. citizens are eligible for the Presidency. Some may consider this alone to be disqualifying. But we have every confidence that Mr. Keflezighi, with his trademark toughness and tenacity, can "beat the odds" yet again to overcome this obstacle.
We have had the privilege of meeting Mr. Keflezighi in person on several occasions, and we can attest that he is every bit as charming, pleasant, and self-effacing as he appears. At the same time he is also, without question, incredibly tough. This is precisely the combination we need today to lead our nation into the future.
Dumb Runner is proud to endorse Meb Keflezighi for President of the United States.