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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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February 15, 2017

Meet the Dumbassadors

February 15, 2017/ Mark Remy
Meet the Dumbassadors

Congratulations to these six readers, who epitomize the Dumb Runner ethos.

Read More
February 15, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Dumbassador, Brand ambassador, Marketing
February 05, 2017

Inspired by Forrest Gump, Man Runs Across U.S., Fights in Vietnam, Gets Shot in Buttocks, Becomes Table Tennis Champ, Buys Fleet of Shrimping Boats

February 05, 2017/ Mark Remy
Inspired by Forrest Gump, Man Runs Across U.S., Fights in Vietnam, Gets Shot in Buttocks, Becomes Table Tennis Champ, Buys Fleet of Shrimping Boats

"It's been a heck of an experience."

Read More
February 05, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Forrest Gump, Vietnam, Shrimp, Table Tennis
January 31, 2017

Apply Now to Be a Dumb Runner #Dumbassador

January 31, 2017/ Mark Remy
Apply Now to Be a Dumb Runner #Dumbassador

Do you have what it takes to wear the Sash?

Read More
January 31, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Dumbassador, Brand ambassador, Tom Sawyer, Whitewash, Marketing
January 29, 2017

With Executive Order, Trump Bans Metric Race Distances

January 29, 2017/ Mark Remy
With Executive Order, Trump Bans Metric Race Distances

For American runners, a farewell to the 5K—and more.

Read More
January 29, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Racing, Metric system, Donald Trump
January 18, 2017

Dog Who Ran Half-Marathon Accused of Cheating

January 18, 2017/ Mark Remy
Dog Who Ran Half-Marathon Accused of Cheating

Missing data paints a damning picture, a website says.

Read More
January 18, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Dogs, Racing, Cheating
January 13, 2017

We Have No Opinion on the Film 'Patriots Day'

January 13, 2017/ Mark Remy
We Have No Opinion on the Film 'Patriots Day'

But here's a photo from it anyway.

Read More
January 13, 2017/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Mark Wahlberg, Boston Marathon, Patriots Day, Opinion
January 03, 2017

Guy on Next Treadmill Definitely Just Farted

January 03, 2017/ Mark Remy
Guy on Next Treadmill Definitely Just Farted

The incident occurred just moments after the man had started using the machine.

Read More
January 03, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Flatulence, Fart, Treadmill
December 20, 2016

Year in Review: Our 12 Most Popular Articles of 2016

December 20, 2016/ Mark Remy
Year in Review: Our 12 Most Popular Articles of 2016

Meb, Trump, and guns all played big parts. Because of course they did.

Read More
December 20, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Real, Satire
2016, Most Popular
December 18, 2016

Trump Appoints New Director of Fitness, Sports & Nutrition

December 18, 2016/ Mark Remy
Trump Appoints New Director of Fitness, Sports & Nutrition

Once again, the President-Elect looks to the private sector for a leadership role.

Read More
December 18, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Donald Trump, Fitness, Drywall
November 23, 2016

Here's How Runners Can Dodge Trump Talk This Thanksgiving

November 23, 2016/ Mark Remy
Here's How Runners Can Dodge Trump Talk This Thanksgiving

The trick is to interject immediately, redirecting before things have a chance to escalate.

Read More
November 23, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Donald Trump, 2016 election, Thanksgiving, Politics
November 21, 2016

What Do We Have in Common With an Internet Radio Station?

November 21, 2016/ Mark Remy
What Do We Have in Common With an Internet Radio Station?

We both refuse ads, and we both rock. You can help keep it that way.

Read More
November 21, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Support Dumb Runner, Donation, SomaFM
November 17, 2016

New Balance Exec: 'We Enjoy Clubbing Baby Seals'

November 17, 2016/ Mark Remy
New Balance Exec: 'We Enjoy Clubbing Baby Seals'

"We don't even use the fur. It's just a stress-relief thing."

Read More
November 17, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Gear
New Balance, TPP, Donald Trump, Baby seals
November 08, 2016

My Post-Election Advice: Go For a Run

November 08, 2016/ Mark Remy
My Post-Election Advice: Go For a Run

It's not just exercise. It's a way to regain a measure of control when you're feeling helpless.

Read More
November 08, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Politics, 2016 election, Stress
October 24, 2016

Endorsement: Meb Keflezighi for President

October 24, 2016/ Mark Remy
Endorsement: Meb Keflezighi for President

He is charming, pleasant, self-effacing... and incredibly tough.

Read More
October 24, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
President, 2016 election, Meb Keflezighi, America
September 19, 2016

Man Enjoys Running

September 19, 2016/ Mark Remy
Man Enjoys Running

"My enjoyment level," he says, "is high. For sure."

Read More
September 19, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Running, Enjoyment
September 14, 2016

Slow-Moving Freight Trains Have a Lesson for Us All

September 14, 2016/ Mark Remy
Slow-Moving Freight Trains Have a Lesson for Us All

We like to think we are an irresistible force. And we are... until we meet a truly unmovable object.

Read More
September 14, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Train, Marathons, Metaphors
August 30, 2016

Hey, Runners! Did Your State Make the List?

August 30, 2016/ Mark Remy
Hey, Runners! Did Your State Make the List?

You'll have to click to find out.

Read More
August 30, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
States, Rankings, Clickbait
August 22, 2016

Olympic Runner Admits Doping With Jesus

August 22, 2016/ Mark Remy
Olympic Runner Admits Doping With Jesus

Almaz Ayana had denied rumors of cheating since winning the 10,000 meters—until recently.

Read More
August 22, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Jesus, Doping, Rio 2016, Olympics
August 10, 2016

Editorial: Let's All Take a Breath

August 10, 2016/ Mark Remy
Editorial: Let's All Take a Breath

Yes, recent attacks on runners are terrifying. But they don't reflect a trend.

Read More
August 10, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Guns, Safety, Crime, Fear
July 18, 2016

Runners Praise Makers of Pokémon GO

July 18, 2016/ Mark Remy
Runners Praise Makers of Pokémon GO

"No longer are we the public's number-one object of ridicule," says a national group.

Read More
July 18, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Pokemon GO, Ridicule, Press conference
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    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
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  • INFO/
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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