Readers, as we prepare to usher in 2017 we—
Actually, you know what? Let's skip the hackneyed intro copy ("usher in"?) and get to the point.
Here are the 12 most viewed Dumb Runner articles of 2016.
1. The Ugly Side of 'Nice Guy' Meb Keflezighi
Here at Dumb Runner, we try to avoid clickbait-style headlines. This headline is 100% clickbait. And it worked—in a huge way. This was the most popular thing we've published yet, by far. Which we find kind of depressing. READ MORE
2. Get a Huge PR With the Donald Trump Marathon Training Plan
We published this back when Trump's campaign was still funny. Given his upset victory, maybe we should actually try out his marathon plan. READ MORE
3. Nine More Things That Will Get You Banned from the Boston Marathon
Number 1: Finding Dave McGillivray at the finish line and kissing him on the mouth. "Long and hard," you will tell authorities, because "that's the way a man like Dave deserves to be kissed." READ MORE
4. Mythical '5K Marathon' May Be Real, Researchers Say
A stunning discovery from the good people at the Massachusetts Institute of Research. READ MORE
5. Seven Things That Runners Can Learn By Watching 'Elf'
Including this, direct from Santa: "You see gum on the street, leave it there. It's not free candy." READ MORE
6. Here's How Runners Can Dodge Trump Talk This Thanksgiving
Another Trump story? Sad! READ MORE
7. NRA Tweets to Runners, Shoots Self in Foot
Easily the most menacing photo we've ever published on the site. With the possible exception of that Trump/Normal Rockwell Thanksgiving thing. READ MORE
8. Running With Your Gun: FAQ
"More gun-related humor, please." That is the message we're picking up from you guys here. Duly noted! READ MORE
9. The Runner's Post-Holiday, Get-Back-in-Shape 2-Week Transition Plan
Well, here's a timely one. BONUS: Our plan includes plenty of rest. And Entenmann's Cherry Cheese Danish. READ MORE
10. Amazon's Greatest Worst Gifts for Runners
Another seasonally appropriate post. But this one has Oreo Jogger Pants. READ MORE
11. Runners Praise Makers of Pokémon GO
Ha ha! Remember Pokémon GO? Yeah, neither do we. READ MORE
12. What the 'Portlandia' Marathon Got Wrong
Did you know that we were in an episode of Portlandia? And that we refer to ourselves using the royal we? Well, we were and we do. READ MORE
Thanks for reading, everyone. Best wishes for a happy and healthy 2017.