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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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December 18, 2016

Trump Appoints New Director of Fitness, Sports & Nutrition

December 18, 2016/ Mark Remy
Trump Appoints New Director of Fitness, Sports & Nutrition

Once again, the President-Elect looks to the private sector for a leadership role.

Read More
December 18, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Donald Trump, Fitness, Drywall
November 23, 2016

Here's How Runners Can Dodge Trump Talk This Thanksgiving

November 23, 2016/ Mark Remy
Here's How Runners Can Dodge Trump Talk This Thanksgiving

The trick is to interject immediately, redirecting before things have a chance to escalate.

Read More
November 23, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Donald Trump, 2016 election, Thanksgiving, Politics
November 21, 2016

What Do We Have in Common With an Internet Radio Station?

November 21, 2016/ Mark Remy
What Do We Have in Common With an Internet Radio Station?

We both refuse ads, and we both rock. You can help keep it that way.

Read More
November 21, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Support Dumb Runner, Donation, SomaFM
November 17, 2016

New Balance Exec: 'We Enjoy Clubbing Baby Seals'

November 17, 2016/ Mark Remy
New Balance Exec: 'We Enjoy Clubbing Baby Seals'

"We don't even use the fur. It's just a stress-relief thing."

Read More
November 17, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Gear
New Balance, TPP, Donald Trump, Baby seals
November 08, 2016

My Post-Election Advice: Go For a Run

November 08, 2016/ Mark Remy
My Post-Election Advice: Go For a Run

It's not just exercise. It's a way to regain a measure of control when you're feeling helpless.

Read More
November 08, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Politics, 2016 election, Stress
October 24, 2016

Endorsement: Meb Keflezighi for President

October 24, 2016/ Mark Remy
Endorsement: Meb Keflezighi for President

He is charming, pleasant, self-effacing... and incredibly tough.

Read More
October 24, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
President, 2016 election, Meb Keflezighi, America
September 19, 2016

Man Enjoys Running

September 19, 2016/ Mark Remy
Man Enjoys Running

"My enjoyment level," he says, "is high. For sure."

Read More
September 19, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Running, Enjoyment
September 14, 2016

Slow-Moving Freight Trains Have a Lesson for Us All

September 14, 2016/ Mark Remy
Slow-Moving Freight Trains Have a Lesson for Us All

We like to think we are an irresistible force. And we are... until we meet a truly unmovable object.

Read More
September 14, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Train, Marathons, Metaphors
August 30, 2016

Hey, Runners! Did Your State Make the List?

August 30, 2016/ Mark Remy
Hey, Runners! Did Your State Make the List?

You'll have to click to find out.

Read More
August 30, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
States, Rankings, Clickbait
August 22, 2016

Olympic Runner Admits Doping With Jesus

August 22, 2016/ Mark Remy
Olympic Runner Admits Doping With Jesus

Almaz Ayana had denied rumors of cheating since winning the 10,000 meters—until recently.

Read More
August 22, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Jesus, Doping, Rio 2016, Olympics
August 10, 2016

Editorial: Let's All Take a Breath

August 10, 2016/ Mark Remy
Editorial: Let's All Take a Breath

Yes, recent attacks on runners are terrifying. But they don't reflect a trend.

Read More
August 10, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Guns, Safety, Crime, Fear
July 18, 2016

Runners Praise Makers of Pokémon GO

July 18, 2016/ Mark Remy
Runners Praise Makers of Pokémon GO

"No longer are we the public's number-one object of ridicule," says a national group.

Read More
July 18, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Pokemon GO, Ridicule, Press conference
July 07, 2016

Pistorius Remains an Inspiration to Amputee Gun Owners Who Can't Control Their Rage

July 07, 2016/ Mark Remy
Pistorius Remains an Inspiration to Amputee Gun Owners Who Can't Control Their Rage

"Who among us hasn't made a mistake?" asks a fan.

Read More
July 07, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Oscar Pistorius, Blade Runner, Justice, Guns, Rage
July 05, 2016

The Tour de France Is Boring? YOU'RE Boring

July 05, 2016/ Mark Remy
The Tour de France Is Boring? YOU'RE Boring

Shorter stages? More "action"? No thanks.

Read More
July 05, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Tour de France, Cycling, Bicycle racing, Boring, Distance
July 01, 2016

7 Ways Runners Can Celebrate Canada Day

July 01, 2016/ Mark Remy
7 Ways Runners Can Celebrate Canada Day

We respect your desire to mark the occasion, and we are here to help.

Read More
July 01, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Motivation
Canada, Justin Trudeau, Tattoos, Pie
June 29, 2016

Could Short Shorts Be the Key to Global Peace?

June 29, 2016/ Mark Remy
Could Short Shorts Be the Key to Global Peace?

It is virtually impossible to be bellicose or intransigent while wearing them.

Read More
June 29, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Real, Gear
Justin Trudeau, Canada, Shorts, World peace
June 24, 2016

How Will the 'Brexit' Vote Affect Your Running?

June 24, 2016/ Mark Remy
How Will the 'Brexit' Vote Affect Your Running?

Amid anxiety and uncertainty, here is what we know.

Read More
June 24, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News
United Kingdom, Brexit, EU
June 08, 2016

5 Running Clichés That Must Die

June 08, 2016/ Mark Remy

As runners and consumers of news, we deserve better.

Read More
June 08, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News
Clichés, Journalism, Lacing up
May 27, 2016

Awful Things That Could Bite Your Genitals in the Toilet, Ranked

May 27, 2016/ Mark Remy
Awful Things That Could Bite Your Genitals in the Toilet, Ranked

First it was a spider. Now a python. What could be worse?

Read More
May 27, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Porta potty, Bite
May 18, 2016

Dumb Runner Travel Alert: AUSTRALIA

May 18, 2016/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Travel Alert: AUSTRALIA

DO NOT GO THERE. UNLESS YOU ENJOY BEING HIT BY AIRBORNE KANGAROOS.

Read More
May 18, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Paul Hogan, Crocodile Dundee, Kangaroos, Travel, Australia
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    • NEW BOOK! "The Running Dictionary"
    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
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    • 2026 Wall Calendar
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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