Nation’s Automakers Running Out of Ways to Make Trucks More Deadly
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American automakers are running out of ways to make their popular trucks and SUVs more dangerous for those outside the vehicles, Dumb Runner has learned, and are increasingly worried they’ve reached a plateau.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I fear our enormous, heavy vehicles have reached, or soon will reach, peak deadliness,” one exec at a major automaker told colleagues during a recent meeting, according to a source who requested anonymity. “I’m not sure what comes next.”
Trucks and SUVs, huge profit-makers for the auto industry, “comprise more than four out of every five new cars sold in the U.S., up from just over half in 2013,” according to Vox.com—”even as national household size steadily declines.”
As that same story notes, those vehicles have grown steadily larger and heavier during that time. That, plus design features such as tall hoods and sheer, vertical grilles, make them uniquely dangerous for pedestrians and cyclists. Many trucks and SUVs are so large, in fact, that their drivers literally can’t see people—especially children—directly in front of them.
This deadliness, widely reported, has been shrugged off by most consumers, who continue paying premium prices for such vehicles—for now.
“We have extremely creative and talented engineers and designers,” the auto exec said during the private meeting. “But they’re only human, and there are only so many ways we can make these things more hazardous.”
According to the source, that meeting included a brainstorming session that included references to dump trucks, armored personnel carriers, bulldozers, cinder blocks, blinding strobe lights, razor blades, “big-ass slabs of lead,” barbed spears, and the Sand Crawler used by Jawas in the “Star Wars” movie franchise.
“Making our pickups and SUVS bigger and heavier was low-hanging fruit,” the executive said. “Ditto for the tall hoods and flat, vertical grilles.”
“Where do we go from here?”
