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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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December 23, 2018

Gift-Giving Aunt Hopes You're 'Still Into Jogging'

December 23, 2018/ Mark Remy
Gift-Giving Aunt Hopes You're 'Still Into Jogging'

Aging relative awaits reaction to Christmas present.

Read More
December 23, 2018/ Mark Remy/
News, Gear, Satire
Holidays, Christmas, Aunts, Gifts
December 12, 2018

'What's the Deal With Blisters?' Runner Asks Stone-Faced Audience at Open Mic Night

December 12, 2018/ Mark Remy
'What's the Deal With Blisters?' Runner Asks Stone-Faced Audience at Open Mic Night

“Is this thing on?” man asks.

Read More
December 12, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Comedy, Standup, Blisters, Running humor, Inside jokes
December 10, 2018

Rolling Stone Gives Meb K Christmas Album 5/5 Stars

December 10, 2018/ Mark Remy
Rolling Stone Gives Meb K Christmas Album 5/5 Stars

“We knew Mr. Keflezighi could run. Who knew he could sing, too?”

Read More
December 10, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Christmas, Holidays, Meb Keflezighi, Swingin' Standards
December 05, 2018

MarathonFoto Launches Chain of Family Portrait Studios

December 05, 2018/ Mark Remy
MarathonFoto Launches Chain of Family Portrait Studios

FamilyFoto will apply the company’s approach to a new market.

Read More
December 05, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Racing, Marathons, MarathonFoto, Race photos
December 03, 2018

What to Say When Your Child Asks If Santa Is Real and Also Why Santa Shat Himself in That Jingle Bell Half-Marathon

December 03, 2018/ Mark Remy
What to Say When Your Child Asks If Santa Is Real and Also Why Santa Shat Himself in That Jingle Bell Half-Marathon

Expert advice on a perennial problem.

Read More
December 03, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Santa Claus, Shitting oneself, Jingle Bell, Holidays, Childlike wonder
November 28, 2018

Newly Discovered Cave Paintings Depict Runners Mocking Jogger

November 28, 2018/ Mark Remy
Newly Discovered Cave Paintings Depict Runners Mocking Jogger

Artwork is earliest known reference to “joggers vs. runners” division.

Read More
November 28, 2018/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Prehistory, Cave paintings, Joggers, Archaeology
November 26, 2018

In Total Coincidence, Man Picks Up Pace at Exact Moment Woman Tries to Pass

November 26, 2018/ Mark Remy
In Total Coincidence, Man Picks Up Pace at Exact Moment Woman Tries to Pass

Runner in trail race chooses completely random moment to dig deep.

Read More
November 26, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Racing, Men, Passing, Ego
November 21, 2018

Guy's Shirt Kind of Brings Whole Turkey Trot Down

November 21, 2018/ Mark Remy
Guy's Shirt Kind of Brings Whole Turkey Trot Down

“MEAT IS MURDER” message casts pall over Thanksgiving 5K.

Read More
November 21, 2018/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Thanksgiving, Meat, Vegetarian
November 13, 2018

11 Other Distractions for Rowan University's Football Team

November 13, 2018/ Mark Remy
11 Other Distractions for Rowan University's Football Team

Sports bras are just the beginning.

Read More
November 13, 2018/ Mark Remy/
News, Real, Satire
Football, Distraction, Sports bras, Women's running, Patriarchy, Bullshit
November 11, 2018

Study: Just 15 Minutes of Running Can Boost Brian

November 11, 2018/ Mark Remy
Study: Just 15 Minutes of Running Can Boost Brian

Researchers call results “remarkable.”

Read More
November 11, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Brian, Research
November 06, 2018

You Can Steal a Magazine Without Being a Total Asshole

November 06, 2018/ Mark Remy
You Can Steal a Magazine Without Being a Total Asshole

You shouldn’t steal. But if you must…

Read More
November 06, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Theft, Magazines, Bandits
October 30, 2018

NYC Marathon Runners Arrive Early to Acclimate to Smell

October 30, 2018/ Mark Remy
NYC Marathon Runners Arrive Early to Acclimate to Smell

Experts say “body needs time to adjust and recalibrate” to mélange of odors.

Read More
October 30, 2018/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
New York City Marathon, Smell, Odor, I Love New York
October 15, 2018

Race Director Holds Up Severed Head of Bandit as Warning to Others

October 15, 2018/ Mark Remy
Race Director Holds Up Severed Head of Bandit as Warning to Others

Frustration with unregistered runners reaches a boiling point.

Read More
October 15, 2018/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Bandits, Race director, Entry fees
September 30, 2018

No One Sure What Runner's World Going For With Latest Cover

September 30, 2018/ Mark Remy
No One Sure What Runner's World Going For With Latest Cover

With November issue, decades-old publication takes a cryptic turn.

Read More
September 30, 2018/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Runner's World, Magazine covers, Magazines, Cats
September 24, 2018

7 Images of Rod Rosenstein's Face Photoshopped Onto Runners' Bodies That We're Publishing In a Desperate Attempt to Seem Relevant

September 24, 2018/ Mark Remy
7 Images of Rod Rosenstein's Face Photoshopped Onto Runners' Bodies That We're Publishing In a Desperate Attempt to Seem Relevant

Look, just click the link, OK?

Read More
September 24, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Current events, Rod Rosentein, Desperation, Relevance, Clickbait
September 23, 2018

Kipchoge Still Waiting for Age-Group Award from Berlin Marathon

September 23, 2018/ Mark Remy
Kipchoge Still Waiting for Age-Group Award from Berlin Marathon

Trip to mailbox leads to disappointment—again.

Read More
September 23, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Berlin Marathon, Eliud Kipchoge, Age group awards
September 16, 2018

If Kipchoge Had Run Just a Little Faster Each Mile He Could Have Broken 2 Hours, Says Guy You Work With

September 16, 2018/ Mark Remy
If Kipchoge Had Run Just a Little Faster Each Mile He Could Have Broken 2 Hours, Says Guy You Work With

Non-runner shares thoughts on Sunday’s 2:01:39 win at the Berlin Marathon.

Read More
September 16, 2018/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Eliud Kipchoge, Marathons, Breaking2, Guy you work with
September 10, 2018

The 7 Worst Dogs for Runners

September 10, 2018/ Mark Remy
The 7 Worst Dogs for Runners

Like to run? Steer clear of these guys.

Read More
September 10, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Dogs, Worst
September 04, 2018

Wow! Check Out These 6 Celebs Who Won't Be Running the 2018 NYC Marathon

September 04, 2018/ Mark Remy
Wow! Check Out These 6 Celebs Who Won't Be Running the 2018 NYC Marathon

Number 4 will blow you away!

Read More
September 04, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
New York City Marathon, Celebrities, 2018
August 08, 2018

Local Man Runs 100th Marathon But It Will Never Be Enough For Dad

August 08, 2018/ Mark Remy
Local Man Runs 100th Marathon But It Will Never Be Enough For Dad

Milestone barely registers with cold, distant patriarch.

Read More
August 08, 2018/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Dads, Family, Love, Approval, Dysfunction
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  • Running 101/
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    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
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    • 2026 Wall Calendar
  • Support Dumb Runner/
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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