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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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December 20, 2016

Year in Review: Our 12 Most Popular Articles of 2016

December 20, 2016/ Mark Remy
Year in Review: Our 12 Most Popular Articles of 2016

Meb, Trump, and guns all played big parts. Because of course they did.

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December 20, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Real, Satire
2016, Most Popular
December 18, 2016

Trump Appoints New Director of Fitness, Sports & Nutrition

December 18, 2016/ Mark Remy
Trump Appoints New Director of Fitness, Sports & Nutrition

Once again, the President-Elect looks to the private sector for a leadership role.

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December 18, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Donald Trump, Fitness, Drywall
December 12, 2016

Man Still Waiting for 'New Him' Promised Last January

December 12, 2016/ Mark Remy
Man Still Waiting for 'New Him' Promised Last January

"I'm still just kinda schlubby," he says.

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December 12, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Motivation
New Year, Motivation, Media
November 17, 2016

New Balance Exec: 'We Enjoy Clubbing Baby Seals'

November 17, 2016/ Mark Remy
New Balance Exec: 'We Enjoy Clubbing Baby Seals'

"We don't even use the fur. It's just a stress-relief thing."

Read More
November 17, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Gear
New Balance, TPP, Donald Trump, Baby seals
November 07, 2016

Runners Pledge to Never Dope, Except for Really Big Races

November 07, 2016/ Mark Remy
Runners Pledge to Never Dope, Except for Really Big Races

A grassroots campaign goes viral on social media.

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November 07, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Doping, Cleanish, Slacktivism
October 24, 2016

Endorsement: Meb Keflezighi for President

October 24, 2016/ Mark Remy
Endorsement: Meb Keflezighi for President

He is charming, pleasant, self-effacing... and incredibly tough.

Read More
October 24, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
President, 2016 election, Meb Keflezighi, America
October 19, 2016

Woman Runs Entire Marathon While Juggling Career, Family

October 19, 2016/ Mark Remy
Woman Runs Entire Marathon While Juggling Career, Family

Pending verification, it's a new Guinness World Record.

Read More
October 19, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Marathons, Juggling
October 10, 2016

Nipple-Free Males 'Almost a Reality,' Say Researchers

October 10, 2016/ Mark Remy
Nipple-Free Males 'Almost a Reality,' Say Researchers

A genetics breakthrough has runners talking.

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October 10, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Nipples, Genes, Chafing, Science, Research
October 03, 2016

70% of Americans Unable to Locate 'Core' on Map of Body

October 03, 2016/ Mark Remy
70% of Americans Unable to Locate 'Core' on Map of Body

"You can't blast your core," researchers say, "if you don't know where to blast."

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October 03, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Polls, Core
September 19, 2016

Man Enjoys Running

September 19, 2016/ Mark Remy
Man Enjoys Running

"My enjoyment level," he says, "is high. For sure."

Read More
September 19, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Running, Enjoyment
August 31, 2016

Local Runner Worried She'll Never Crush a Race

August 31, 2016/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Worried She'll Never Crush a Race

A long list of running accomplishments remains incomplete.

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August 31, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Racing, Sad, Crush
August 30, 2016

Hey, Runners! Did Your State Make the List?

August 30, 2016/ Mark Remy
Hey, Runners! Did Your State Make the List?

You'll have to click to find out.

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August 30, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
States, Rankings, Clickbait
August 22, 2016

Olympic Runner Admits Doping With Jesus

August 22, 2016/ Mark Remy
Olympic Runner Admits Doping With Jesus

Almaz Ayana had denied rumors of cheating since winning the 10,000 meters—until recently.

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August 22, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Jesus, Doping, Rio 2016, Olympics
July 18, 2016

Runners Praise Makers of Pokémon GO

July 18, 2016/ Mark Remy
Runners Praise Makers of Pokémon GO

"No longer are we the public's number-one object of ridicule," says a national group.

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July 18, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Pokemon GO, Ridicule, Press conference
July 07, 2016

Pistorius Remains an Inspiration to Amputee Gun Owners Who Can't Control Their Rage

July 07, 2016/ Mark Remy
Pistorius Remains an Inspiration to Amputee Gun Owners Who Can't Control Their Rage

"Who among us hasn't made a mistake?" asks a fan.

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July 07, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Oscar Pistorius, Blade Runner, Justice, Guns, Rage
June 20, 2016

Copernicus Is First Renaissance Mathematician and Astronomer to Grace Cover of Women's Running Magazine

June 20, 2016/ Mark Remy
Copernicus Is First Renaissance Mathematician and Astronomer to Grace Cover of Women's Running Magazine

Father of heliocentrism a "logical choice."

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June 20, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Magazines, Copernicus, Magazine covers, Newsstand sales
May 27, 2016

Awful Things That Could Bite Your Genitals in the Toilet, Ranked

May 27, 2016/ Mark Remy
Awful Things That Could Bite Your Genitals in the Toilet, Ranked

First it was a spider. Now a python. What could be worse?

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May 27, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Porta potty, Bite
May 10, 2016

Doctors Fear Spike in Patriotism Overdoses

May 10, 2016/ Mark Remy
Doctors Fear Spike in Patriotism Overdoses

Wearers of U.S. flag running shorts are urged to be cautious.

Read More
May 10, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Nutrition
Patriotism, America, Budweiser
May 09, 2016

Mythical '5K Marathon' May Be Real, Researchers Say

May 09, 2016/ Mark Remy
Mythical '5K Marathon' May Be Real, Researchers Say

A decades-old quest leads to some surprising discoveries.

Read More
May 09, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Marathons, 5K, 5K marathon, Research
May 03, 2016

Study: '1-Minute Workouts' Useless When It Comes to Shit You Can't Quantify

May 03, 2016/ Mark Remy
Study: '1-Minute Workouts' Useless When It Comes to Shit You Can't Quantify

And, researchers say, that is "some of the most important shit of all."

Read More
May 03, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Training
Research, High intensity training
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    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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