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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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November 20, 2017

Report: Someone Else to Pick Up Discarded GU Packet

November 20, 2017/ Mark Remy
Report: Someone Else to Pick Up Discarded GU Packet

A string of successive trail users arrive at the same conclusion.

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November 20, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
GU, Energy gel, Litter, Someone else, Trail running
November 15, 2017

Segway Tour Group Unites Runner, Cyclist in Derision

November 15, 2017/ Mark Remy
Segway Tour Group Unites Runner, Cyclist in Derision

Family of four in matching safety vests provides a moment of shared mirth.

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November 15, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Segways, Derision, Unity
November 12, 2017

Friends and Fans, I Need Your Help

November 12, 2017/ Mark Remy
Friends and Fans, I Need Your Help

We're 100% independent and ad-free. You can help to keep it that way.

Read More
November 12, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Pledge drive, Patreon, Support Dumb Runner
November 06, 2017

This Mother of Six Just Ran Her 10th Sub-3:00 Marathon, You Lazy Piece of Shit

November 06, 2017/ Mark Remy
This Mother of Six Just Ran Her 10th Sub-3:00 Marathon, You Lazy Piece of Shit

Having a supportive husband, unlike your own garbage spouse, helps.

Read More
November 06, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Sub-3:00, Mother, Lazy, Marathons
November 03, 2017

Meb Forgets to Pack Running Shoes, Will Miss NYC Marathon

November 03, 2017/ Mark Remy
Meb Forgets to Pack Running Shoes, Will Miss NYC Marathon

Disappointed legend says he "could have sworn" they were in  suitcase.

Read More
November 03, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Meb Keflezighi, New York City Marathon, Shoes, Travel
October 29, 2017

'Course Was Long,' Complains Marathoner Whose Own Serpentine Path Along Route Looks Like Something Out of 'Family Circus'

October 29, 2017/ Mark Remy
'Course Was Long,' Complains Marathoner Whose Own Serpentine Path Along Route Looks Like Something Out of 'Family Circus'

"Twenty-six point seven?" annoyed competitor asks at finish line.

Read More
October 29, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
GPS, Marathons, Family Circus
October 24, 2017

Man Sets World Record for Running Marathon While Mansplaining

October 24, 2017/ Mark Remy
Man Sets World Record for Running Marathon While Mansplaining

For "tech bro," 33, it was a natural goal to pursue. 

 

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October 24, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
October 22, 2017

9 Dumb Runner Halloween Costumes That Absolutely Nobody Will Get

October 22, 2017/ Mark Remy
9 Dumb Runner Halloween Costumes That Absolutely Nobody Will Get

And yes, they're ALL sexy.

Read More
October 22, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Halloween, Costumes, Esoterica
October 17, 2017

Elevator Occupants Enter Unspoken Pact to Ignore Runner's Foul Postrun Stench

October 17, 2017/ Mark Remy
Elevator Occupants Enter Unspoken Pact to Ignore Runner's Foul Postrun Stench

Most in car opt to stare straight ahead.

Read More
October 17, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Elevators, Stink, Odor, Unspoken pacts, Postrun
October 15, 2017

Woman in Porta Potty Sure Taking Her Sweet-Ass Time

October 15, 2017/ Mark Remy
Woman in Porta Potty Sure Taking Her Sweet-Ass Time

Tensions mount in line at local marathon.

Read More
October 15, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Porta potty, Marathons, Racing, Time management
October 09, 2017

Rupp Celebrates Chicago Win By Buying Everyone in Bar a Round of L-Carnitine

October 09, 2017/ Mark Remy
Rupp Celebrates Chicago Win By Buying Everyone in Bar a Round of L-Carnitine

"It's not a banned substance!" champ tells tentative crowd.

Read More
October 09, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Chicago Marathon, Marathons, Galen Rupp
October 03, 2017

Churchgoer Delayed by Marathon Unleashes String of Curse Words

October 03, 2017/ Mark Remy
Churchgoer Delayed by Marathon Unleashes String of Curse Words

Among half-dozen motorists waiting to cross road, one is especially irate.

Read More
October 03, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Motorists, Church, Marathons, Anger
October 01, 2017

Woman Sparks Outrage By Taking Knee in Gym

October 01, 2017/ Mark Remy
Woman Sparks Outrage By Taking Knee in Gym

"Can't we leave politics out of exercise?" ask fellow fitness buffs.

Read More
October 01, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Knees, Gym, Outrage, NFL
September 26, 2017

Local Runner Lets Age Slow Him Down

September 26, 2017/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Lets Age Slow Him Down

For near-octogenarian, injuries and illness take a toll.

Read More
September 26, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Training
Aging, Slow, Training, Couch
September 24, 2017

New Nike Podcast Will Follow Authors Writing Nike Book That Recounts Making of Nike Documentary About Nike Breaking2 Effort

September 24, 2017/ Mark Remy
New Nike Podcast Will Follow Authors Writing Nike Book That Recounts Making of Nike Documentary About Nike Breaking2 Effort

News shines a spotlight on company plagued by publicity and attention.

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September 24, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Breaking2, Nike, Books, Marketing, PR
September 19, 2017

New 'Cholera Caper' Mud Run Series Will Test Athletes' Stamina, Bowels

September 19, 2017/ Mark Remy
New 'Cholera Caper' Mud Run Series Will Test Athletes' Stamina, Bowels

An event director, bored with traditional adventure races, adds an explosive element.

Read More
September 19, 2017/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Mud runs, Cholera, Bowels, Violent diarrhea, Fads
September 17, 2017

Running Brand's Social Media Manager Clearly Starting to Lose Mind

September 17, 2017/ Mark Remy
Running Brand's Social Media Manager Clearly Starting to Lose Mind

"The first time she used the word runcation in a tweet, I think, was the beginning of the end."

Read More
September 17, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Clickbait, Social media
September 12, 2017

Runners Marvel at Strange Symbols Painted on City Streets

September 12, 2017/ Mark Remy
Runners Marvel at Strange Symbols Painted on City Streets

Cryptic artwork fuels speculation and wonder.

Read More
September 12, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Cycling, Bikes, Stencils, Symbols
September 10, 2017

Selfish Jerk to Run Marathon Just for Himself

September 10, 2017/ Mark Remy
Selfish Jerk to Run Marathon Just for Himself

Runners react with revulsion and disbelief.

Read More
September 10, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Marathons, Selfish, Jerk, Charity
September 05, 2017

'You Got This,' Disembodied Head of Jerry Orbach Tells Runner in Marathon's Final Miles

September 05, 2017/ Mark Remy
'You Got This,' Disembodied Head of Jerry Orbach Tells Runner in Marathon's Final Miles

Large, floating hallucination urges man to continue.

Read More
September 05, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Marathons, Racing, The wall, Jerry Orbach, Law & Order
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  • Running 101/
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    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
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    • "The Runner's Rule Book"
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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