This Mother of Six Just Ran Her 10th Sub-3:00 Marathon, You Lazy Piece of Shit

 istockphoto.com

istockphoto.com

Veronica Corningstone is a busy woman.

The 42-year-old mother of six, a marketing manager in San Diego, starts her days well before sunrise, waking early to log at least five miles while her husband, Ron, and the kids sleep. Then she showers, dresses, rouses her children, packs lunches, feeds the family's two dogs, gets the kids off to school, and is at work by 8 a.m. Evenings are similarly packed. Weekend long runs begin as early as 4:30 a.m. to allow time for shuttling kids to and from play dates and various other commitments.

And on Sunday, she ran her 10th consecutive sub-3-hour marathon, you lazy piece of shit.

"It's all about prioritizing and time management," said Corningstone in an interview shortly after finishing the Ankerman Marathon in 2 hours 55 minutes 54 seconds, while you were probably sitting around in your bathrobe, eating donut holes. "It's about wanting something bad enough to make it happen."

Corningstone said it helps that her husband does "at least 50 percent" of the child-rearing, shopping, housework, and meal preparation, as compared to your own garbage spouse, who likely can't be bothered to clear his own dishes, much less rinse them off and load them into the dishwasher.

"But at the end of the day, I'm the one logging the miles," she said, which is more than can be said for the rest of you goldbricking layabouts, who want everything handed to you.

Her children, ranging in age from 12 years to 18 months, are her biggest cheerleaders, Corningstone added.

"They know that this is important to me," she said, "and that I'm a better Mommy when I run." Better than those other mommies, who wallow in indolence the way hogs wallow in filth.

What's next for Corningstone, now that she's notched her 10th sub-3:00 marathon?

"A nice recovery period, and then training for number 11!" she said, you pathetic sluggard.