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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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September 19, 2016

Man Enjoys Running

September 19, 2016/ Mark Remy
Man Enjoys Running

"My enjoyment level," he says, "is high. For sure."

Read More
September 19, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Running, Enjoyment
September 14, 2016

Slow-Moving Freight Trains Have a Lesson for Us All

September 14, 2016/ Mark Remy
Slow-Moving Freight Trains Have a Lesson for Us All

We like to think we are an irresistible force. And we are... until we meet a truly unmovable object.

Read More
September 14, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Train, Marathons, Metaphors
August 30, 2016

Hey, Runners! Did Your State Make the List?

August 30, 2016/ Mark Remy
Hey, Runners! Did Your State Make the List?

You'll have to click to find out.

Read More
August 30, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
States, Rankings, Clickbait
August 22, 2016

Olympic Runner Admits Doping With Jesus

August 22, 2016/ Mark Remy
Olympic Runner Admits Doping With Jesus

Almaz Ayana had denied rumors of cheating since winning the 10,000 meters—until recently.

Read More
August 22, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Jesus, Doping, Rio 2016, Olympics
August 10, 2016

Editorial: Let's All Take a Breath

August 10, 2016/ Mark Remy
Editorial: Let's All Take a Breath

Yes, recent attacks on runners are terrifying. But they don't reflect a trend.

Read More
August 10, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Guns, Safety, Crime, Fear
July 18, 2016

Runners Praise Makers of Pokémon GO

July 18, 2016/ Mark Remy
Runners Praise Makers of Pokémon GO

"No longer are we the public's number-one object of ridicule," says a national group.

Read More
July 18, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Pokemon GO, Ridicule, Press conference
July 07, 2016

Pistorius Remains an Inspiration to Amputee Gun Owners Who Can't Control Their Rage

July 07, 2016/ Mark Remy
Pistorius Remains an Inspiration to Amputee Gun Owners Who Can't Control Their Rage

"Who among us hasn't made a mistake?" asks a fan.

Read More
July 07, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Oscar Pistorius, Blade Runner, Justice, Guns, Rage
July 05, 2016

The Tour de France Is Boring? YOU'RE Boring

July 05, 2016/ Mark Remy
The Tour de France Is Boring? YOU'RE Boring

Shorter stages? More "action"? No thanks.

Read More
July 05, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Tour de France, Cycling, Bicycle racing, Boring, Distance
July 01, 2016

7 Ways Runners Can Celebrate Canada Day

July 01, 2016/ Mark Remy
7 Ways Runners Can Celebrate Canada Day

We respect your desire to mark the occasion, and we are here to help.

Read More
July 01, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Motivation
Canada, Justin Trudeau, Tattoos, Pie
June 29, 2016

Could Short Shorts Be the Key to Global Peace?

June 29, 2016/ Mark Remy
Could Short Shorts Be the Key to Global Peace?

It is virtually impossible to be bellicose or intransigent while wearing them.

Read More
June 29, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Real, Gear
Justin Trudeau, Canada, Shorts, World peace
June 24, 2016

How Will the 'Brexit' Vote Affect Your Running?

June 24, 2016/ Mark Remy
How Will the 'Brexit' Vote Affect Your Running?

Amid anxiety and uncertainty, here is what we know.

Read More
June 24, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News
United Kingdom, Brexit, EU
June 08, 2016

5 Running Clichés That Must Die

June 08, 2016/ Mark Remy

As runners and consumers of news, we deserve better.

Read More
June 08, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News
Clichés, Journalism, Lacing up
May 27, 2016

Awful Things That Could Bite Your Genitals in the Toilet, Ranked

May 27, 2016/ Mark Remy
Awful Things That Could Bite Your Genitals in the Toilet, Ranked

First it was a spider. Now a python. What could be worse?

Read More
May 27, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Porta potty, Bite
May 18, 2016

Dumb Runner Travel Alert: AUSTRALIA

May 18, 2016/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Travel Alert: AUSTRALIA

DO NOT GO THERE. UNLESS YOU ENJOY BEING HIT BY AIRBORNE KANGAROOS.

Read More
May 18, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Paul Hogan, Crocodile Dundee, Kangaroos, Travel, Australia
May 13, 2016

BREAKING: Your Face, if You Taunt This British Runner

May 13, 2016/ Mark Remy
BREAKING: Your Face, if You Taunt This British Runner

An off-duty police officer attacked a man for shouting "Run Forrest Run!" as he jogged by.

Read More
May 13, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Forrest Gump, London
May 10, 2016

Doctors Fear Spike in Patriotism Overdoses

May 10, 2016/ Mark Remy
Doctors Fear Spike in Patriotism Overdoses

Wearers of U.S. flag running shorts are urged to be cautious.

Read More
May 10, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire, Nutrition
Patriotism, America, Budweiser
May 09, 2016

Mythical '5K Marathon' May Be Real, Researchers Say

May 09, 2016/ Mark Remy
Mythical '5K Marathon' May Be Real, Researchers Say

A decades-old quest leads to some surprising discoveries.

Read More
May 09, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Marathons, 5K, 5K marathon, Research
May 03, 2016

Study: '1-Minute Workouts' Useless When It Comes to Shit You Can't Quantify

May 03, 2016/ Mark Remy
Study: '1-Minute Workouts' Useless When It Comes to Shit You Can't Quantify

And, researchers say, that is "some of the most important shit of all."

Read More
May 03, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Training
Research, High intensity training
April 27, 2016

How to Choose a Porta Potty That DOESN'T Have a Penis-Biting Spider

April 27, 2016/ Mark Remy
How to Choose a Porta Potty That DOESN'T Have a Penis-Biting Spider

For one Australian man, this advice comes too late.

Read More
April 27, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Spiders, Porta potty, Australia, Safety, Penis
April 24, 2016

Eliud Kipchoge Wins London Marathon in Course Record 2:58

April 24, 2016/ Mark Remy
Eliud Kipchoge Wins London Marathon in Course Record 2:58

"I guess it was a pretty soft record," says race director.

Read More
April 24, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Marathons, Racing, Elite runners, London Marathon, Course records
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  • MERCH/
    • NEW BOOK! "The Running Dictionary"
    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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