Panicked Kipchoge Can’t Find His Vaporflys
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Marathon world record holder Eliud Kipchoge this morning searched his home for his Nike Vaporfly shoes, Dumb Runner has learned. The room-to-room sweep saw the Kenyan running legend grow increasingly anxious.
At the time of publication, the shoes remained missing.
“I just saw them yesterday,” Kipchoge muttered, pawing through drawers and peering behind his sofa. “They have to be here somewhere.”
“They’re my racing shoes!” he said, kneeling before a hall closet and tossing items over his shoulder. “I need them for racing!”
Later, he dropped to the floor to shine a flashlight under his bed. “Come on, man… where are you?”
“Gah,” he continued. “Dust bunnies.”
The Nike Vaporfly has made waves since its launch in 2016, with experts concluding that the shoe’s technology gave wearers a significant advantage over competitors in other running shoes. Last week a World Athletics panel ruled that traditional Vaporfly models were OK for competition, but placed restrictions on newer prototypes.
The ruling will mean little for Kipchoge, a source said, if he’s unable to locate his own pair.
“Eliud is supposed to race London this April,” said the source, who requested anonymity. “He’ll need his Vaporflys before then, for sure.”
At last report, Kipchoge was wondering aloud whether he might have recently left his shoes on top of his car before driving off.
“Man, I hope not,” he said. “They’re super expensive. Nike’s gonna be so mad.”
He stood, arms akimbo, and sighed.
“Dammit.”
