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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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April 29, 2024

‘My Only Goal Is to Finish,’ Says First-Time Marathoner Who Has Spent His Whole Life Playing It Safe, So Why Should This Be Any Different?

April 29, 2024/ Mark Remy
‘My Only Goal Is to Finish,’ Says First-Time Marathoner Who Has Spent His Whole Life Playing It Safe, So Why Should This Be Any Different?

Local runner has long history of avoiding risk.

Read More
April 29, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Goals, Marathons, Risk averse, Caution
April 25, 2024

Dumb Runner Field Guide #6: How to Handle a Poo Emergency

April 25, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Field Guide #6: How to Handle a Poo Emergency

Go go go!

Read More
April 25, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Real, News
Dumb Runner Field Guide, Poop
April 18, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #103: 'Active'

April 18, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #103: 'Active'

Don’t forget to take some rest days.

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April 18, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Sedentary, Fitne, Active lifestyle, Screen time
April 15, 2024

Shy Boston Marathoner Waits for Wellesley Student to Make First Move

April 15, 2024/ Mark Remy
Shy Boston Marathoner Waits for Wellesley Student to Make First Move

Runner is losing precious minutes as he dithers.

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April 15, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Boston Marathon, Wellesley, Kiss, Shyness
April 10, 2024

Report: Mom Not Mad That You Didn’t Mention Her in Your Marathon Race Report, Just Disappointed

April 10, 2024/ Mark Remy
Report: Mom Not Mad That You Didn’t Mention Her in Your Marathon Race Report, Just Disappointed

Endlessly supportive woman is “very happy for you,” sources say.

Read More
April 10, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Race report, Mother, Guilt, Disappointment, Family
April 08, 2024

MTA to Charge New York City Marathoners $10 Each Time They Record Themselves Gingerly Going Down Steps to Subway Stations After the Race

April 08, 2024/ Mark Remy
MTA to Charge New York City Marathoners $10 Each Time They Record Themselves Gingerly Going Down Steps to Subway Stations After the Race

New harebrained scheme replaces old harebrained scheme.

Read More
April 08, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Stairs, NYC, New York City Marathon, Subway, Mass transit, Harebrained schemes
April 03, 2024

Boston Prepares for Marathon by Giving Dave McGillivray Fresh Coat of Paint

April 03, 2024/ Mark Remy
Boston Prepares for Marathon by Giving Dave McGillivray Fresh Coat of Paint

Legendary race director will “look like new” on race day, organizers say.

Read More
April 03, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Boston Marathon, Dave McGillivray, Paint
March 25, 2024

‘Crazy-Ass 60-Hour Race Through Woods Started by Guy With Cigarette’ to Become Olympic Event

March 25, 2024/ Mark Remy
‘Crazy-Ass 60-Hour Race Through Woods Started by Guy With Cigarette’ to Become Olympic Event

New event will debut at 2028 Games.

Read More
March 25, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Olympics, Ultras, Barkley Marathons, Cigarettes
March 21, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #101: 'Inadequate'

March 21, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #101: 'Inadequate'

Learn to spot the signs of undertraining.

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March 21, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Marathons, Training, Spectator, Signs, Coach
March 20, 2024

Barkley Marathons Runner Wonders if Girls Softly Singing Nursery Rhymes Are Part of Whole Barkley Thing, or What

March 20, 2024/ Mark Remy
Barkley Marathons Runner Wonders if Girls Softly Singing Nursery Rhymes Are Part of Whole Barkley Thing, or What

Children don’t show faces, which is fine by runner.

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March 20, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Barkley Marathons, Creepy, Little girls, Nursery rhymes, Wooded area
March 18, 2024

‘Running Keeps Me Young,’ Says Chronically Injured Man Who’s in Bed Every Night by 8:45

March 18, 2024/ Mark Remy
‘Running Keeps Me Young,’ Says Chronically Injured Man Who’s in Bed Every Night by 8:45

Local runner’s rhetoric belies his own condition.

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March 18, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Aging, Youth, Inju, Slee, Quality of life
March 07, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #100: 'Let Him Go'

March 07, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #100: 'Let Him Go'

Nice bike, though.

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March 07, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Cycling, Dead eyes, Gary, Bik
March 07, 2024

ADORABLE! This Man Hasn’t Run a Marathon in Years But Believes He Could Finish One Tomorrow on ‘Muscle Memory’

March 07, 2024/ Mark Remy
ADORABLE! This Man Hasn’t Run a Marathon in Years But Believes He Could Finish One Tomorrow on ‘Muscle Memory’

Local runner not joking, sources say.

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March 07, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Hubris, Training, Muscle memory, Bad ideas, Poor judgment
March 04, 2024

Report: Marathoner With Bloody Nipples at Mile 3 in For a Long Day

March 04, 2024/ Mark Remy
Report: Marathoner With Bloody Nipples at Mile 3 in For a Long Day

“Ouch,” says spectator.

Read More
March 04, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Marathons, Bloody nipples, Chafing, Ouch, Slog
February 26, 2024

Debate Over Best Big-City Marathon Gets Ugly

February 26, 2024/ Mark Remy
Debate Over Best Big-City Marathon Gets Ugly

Alcohol-fueled discussion goes off the rails.

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February 26, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Bar fight, Marathons, Debate, Beer, Simmering rage
February 22, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #99: 'Real'

February 22, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #99: 'Real'

If you nitpick, you’re a nitpicker.

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February 22, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Comics, Real runners, Small Talk
February 21, 2024

Mud Run Obstacle Consists of Guy Named Rodney Who Emerges From Muck to Belittle You

February 21, 2024/ Mark Remy
Mud Run Obstacle Consists of Guy Named Rodney Who Emerges From Muck to Belittle You

Psychological assault gives competition a new twist.

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February 21, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Mud runs, Rodney, Taunts, Psychology, Obstacles
February 19, 2024

Runner Complaining About Winter Weather Can’t Wait to Start Complaining About Summer Weather

February 19, 2024/ Mark Remy
Runner Complaining About Winter Weather Can’t Wait to Start Complaining About Summer Weather

Local man eager to switch things up.

Read More
February 19, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Winter, Summer, Bad weather, Complaints, Bitching
February 12, 2024

'I Didn't Watch the Super Bowl,' Local Runner Tells Anyone Who Will Listen

February 12, 2024/ Mark Remy
'I Didn't Watch the Super Bowl,' Local Runner Tells Anyone Who Will Listen

Man shares information with friends, coworkers, total strangers.

Read More
February 12, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Socially awkward, Football, Big Game
February 09, 2024

Dumb Runner Illustrated #98: 'Shirt'

February 09, 2024/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #98: 'Shirt'

“Fine, I’ll take a medium.”

Read More
February 09, 2024/ Mark Remy/
News, Gear, Satire
Comics, Marathons, Shirt, Environment, Waste, Expo
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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