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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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September 17, 2017

Running Brand's Social Media Manager Clearly Starting to Lose Mind

September 17, 2017/ Mark Remy
Running Brand's Social Media Manager Clearly Starting to Lose Mind

"The first time she used the word runcation in a tweet, I think, was the beginning of the end."

Read More
September 17, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Clickbait, Social media
September 12, 2017

Runners Marvel at Strange Symbols Painted on City Streets

September 12, 2017/ Mark Remy
Runners Marvel at Strange Symbols Painted on City Streets

Cryptic artwork fuels speculation and wonder.

Read More
September 12, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Cycling, Bikes, Stencils, Symbols
September 10, 2017

Selfish Jerk to Run Marathon Just for Himself

September 10, 2017/ Mark Remy
Selfish Jerk to Run Marathon Just for Himself

Runners react with revulsion and disbelief.

Read More
September 10, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Marathons, Selfish, Jerk, Charity
September 05, 2017

'You Got This,' Disembodied Head of Jerry Orbach Tells Runner in Marathon's Final Miles

September 05, 2017/ Mark Remy
'You Got This,' Disembodied Head of Jerry Orbach Tells Runner in Marathon's Final Miles

Large, floating hallucination urges man to continue.

Read More
September 05, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Marathons, Racing, The wall, Jerry Orbach, Law & Order
August 22, 2017

Rejected Marriage Proposal at Mile 13 Makes Second Half of Marathon Awkward

August 22, 2017/ Mark Remy
Rejected Marriage Proposal at Mile 13 Makes Second Half of Marathon Awkward

After an uncomfortable silence, couple rejoin the race.

Read More
August 22, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Marathons, Marriage, Spurned suitor
August 20, 2017

Runners, Here Is Your Solar Eclipse FAQ

August 20, 2017/ Mark Remy
Runners, Here Is Your Solar Eclipse FAQ

How will the eclipse affect my form? and other pressing questions, answered.
 

Read More
August 20, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Eclipse, Totality, Eyewear
August 15, 2017

Woman Who Runs 'to Escape the News' Hasn't Stopped Since Last Wednesday

August 15, 2017/ Mark Remy
Woman Who Runs 'to Escape the News' Hasn't Stopped Since Last Wednesday

"I was just, like, you know what? I'm going for a run."

Read More
August 15, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Motivation
News, Coping mechanism, Stress
August 13, 2017

Wow! Check Out These 5 Celebs Who Won't Be Running the 2017 NYC Marathon

August 13, 2017/ Mark Remy
Wow! Check Out These 5 Celebs Who Won't Be Running the 2017 NYC Marathon

Can these marquee names handle 26.2? The question is moot!

Read More
August 13, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Celebrities, Marathons, New York City Marathon, Wow
August 08, 2017

Stock Photo Model Is Surprise Winner at World Championships Marathon

August 08, 2017/ Mark Remy
Stock Photo Model Is Surprise Winner at World Championships Marathon

The man, known only as Portrait of a Race Winner ID#175248024, finished in 2:08:12.

Read More
August 08, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Elite runners, Marathons, Stock photos, World Championships
August 01, 2017

Woman Pretty Sure 5K's Ban on Strollers Doesn't Apply to Her

August 01, 2017/ Mark Remy
Woman Pretty Sure 5K's Ban on Strollers Doesn't Apply to Her

Local mom brushes aside "legal mumbo-jumbo."

Read More
August 01, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
5K, Racing, Stroller, Rules
July 30, 2017

Tattoos Make Runners Look Cool, Researchers Find

July 30, 2017/ Mark Remy
Tattoos Make Runners Look Cool, Researchers Find

A study confirms a long-held belief—with one exception.

Read More
July 30, 2017/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Research, Tattoos, Cool, Science
July 18, 2017

Local Runner Hopes to Pass Love of Obsessively Recording and Tracking Data Along to Children

July 18, 2017/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Hopes to Pass Love of Obsessively Recording and Tracking Data Along to Children

A father of two aims to lead by example.

Read More
July 18, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Training
Strava, Fitbit, Data, Parenthood, Training
July 17, 2017

Catcalling Motorist Rear-Ends Full Septic Truck, According to Runner's Fantasy

July 17, 2017/ Mark Remy
Catcalling Motorist Rear-Ends Full Septic Truck, According to Runner's Fantasy

Imaginary collision sends 4,500 gallons of sewage pouring into vehicle.

Read More
July 17, 2017/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Septic truck, Human waste, Convertible, Catcalling, Fantasy
July 11, 2017

How Running Helped Me Lose 65 Pounds, and My Keys

July 11, 2017/ Tina Turner
How Running Helped Me Lose 65  Pounds, and My Keys

"I've run at least two dozen more 5Ks, and lost more sets of keys than I can remember."

Read More
July 11, 2017/ Tina Turner/
Satire, News
Weight loss, Inspiration
July 09, 2017

Spectator Admits She Not Really Sure Marathoners Got This

July 09, 2017/ Mark Remy
Spectator Admits She Not Really Sure Marathoners Got This

"Truth be told," says woman, "I have no idea how these runners will fare."

Read More
July 09, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Motivation, Marathons, Spectator, You got this
July 02, 2017

EXCLUSIVE: New Documents Reveal Founding Fathers Marked Independence With Nation's First Firecracker 5K

July 02, 2017/ Mark Remy
EXCLUSIVE: New Documents Reveal Founding Fathers Marked Independence With Nation's First Firecracker 5K

"Our Founding Fathers truly were visionaries," says historian.

Read More
July 02, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Independence Day, Fourth of July, Firecracker, Founding Fathers
June 27, 2017

'That's Why I Carry,' Gun-Loving Runner Replies to Increasing Number of Stories

June 27, 2017/ Mark Remy
'That's Why I Carry,' Gun-Loving Runner Replies to Increasing Number of Stories

Friends express concern over a recent shift.

Read More
June 27, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Guns, Carry, Scary
June 25, 2017

Poor Bastard Has No Idea He's Running All Wrong

June 25, 2017/ Mark Remy
Poor Bastard Has No Idea He's Running All Wrong

From foot strike to lack of fuel, a passing stranger inspires pity.

Read More
June 25, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Wrong
June 20, 2017

7 Essential Tips for Running the Western States 100

June 20, 2017/ Mark Remy
7 Essential Tips for Running the Western States 100

Be prepared, be early, and remember—strollers start in back!

Read More
June 20, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Western States 100-Mile Endurance Run, Ultras
June 16, 2017

Lawyer for Family of Slain Raccoon Disputes Runner's Claim of Self-Defense

June 16, 2017/ Mark Remy
Lawyer for Family of Slain Raccoon Disputes Runner's Claim of Self-Defense

A viral news story takes an unexpected turn.

Read More
June 16, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Lawyer, Raccoon, Maine, Puddle
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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