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July 23, 2018

Guy in Middle of Run Shares Brazen Plan for Accessing Starbucks Restroom: 'I'm Gonna Walk Right Through the Front Door'

July 23, 2018/ Mark Remy
Guy in Middle of Run Shares Brazen Plan for Accessing Starbucks Restroom: 'I'm Gonna Walk Right Through the Front Door'

Cocksure runner describes tactic as “the one move they won’t be expecting.”

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July 23, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Real
Pee, Restroom, Starbucks, Brazen, No purchase
July 18, 2018

Anguished Runner Can't Remember How to Beat Heat

July 18, 2018/ Mark Remy
Anguished Runner Can't Remember How to Beat Heat

Man can’t decide what to wear, when to go, whether to hydrate.

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July 18, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training
Heat, Panic, Tips, Training, Summer
May 29, 2018

Woman Prepares for Run By Yanking Leg Good and Hard

May 29, 2018/ Mark Remy
Woman Prepares for Run By Yanking Leg Good and Hard

"You ever have to detach a leg from a whole roasted chicken? It was like that."

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May 29, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire, Injury prevention
Stretching
May 23, 2018

Report: Cannabis Can Help Runners Get High as F***

May 23, 2018/ Mark Remy
Report: Cannabis Can Help Runners Get High as F***

"The more we study cannabis, the more of its secrets we unlock," say researchers.

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May 23, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training
Marijuana, Cannabis, Research, High as fuck
May 14, 2018

Man's Marathon Recovery Enters 33rd Week

May 14, 2018/ Mark Remy
Man's Marathon Recovery Enters 33rd Week

Local runner tells friends he’s still feeling effects of race.

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May 14, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Racing, Satire
Marathon, Recovery, Couch
May 09, 2018

Ask the Fitness Bro: 'The Kids Saw Us Having Sex! Now What?'

May 09, 2018/ Mark Remy
Ask the Fitness Bro: 'The Kids Saw Us Having Sex! Now What?'

You’ve got questions. He’s got answers.

Read More
May 09, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Todd, Fitness, Training, Personal trainer, Sex
April 30, 2018

Man Returns From Jog Completely Unharmed

April 30, 2018/ Mark Remy
Man Returns From Jog Completely Unharmed

No bodies found, no trauma endured during easy 3-mile jaunt.

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April 30, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Jogging, Harm
April 25, 2018

Retractable Leash Adds Element of Fun for Passing Runners

April 25, 2018/ Mark Remy
Retractable Leash Adds Element of Fun for Passing Runners

“Suddenly, I had to deal with this erratic hazard. It was, like, Oh, hello! I had to laugh."

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April 25, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire, Safety
Dogs, Leash, Trail
April 23, 2018

Report: Old Guy Hauling Ass

April 23, 2018/ Mark Remy
Report: Old Guy Hauling Ass

Witnesses say silver-haired man "tearing it up" on local path.

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April 23, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Aging, Old guy, Hauling ass, Speed
April 04, 2018

Man Can’t Believe He's Been Pronouncing 'Strava' Wrong All This Time

April 04, 2018/ Mark Remy
Man Can’t Believe He's Been Pronouncing 'Strava' Wrong All This Time

Runner made phonetic flub for nearly two years before being corrected.

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April 04, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Embarrassment, Strava
March 21, 2018

NEW! Ask the Fitness Bro

March 21, 2018/ Mark Remy
NEW! Ask the Fitness Bro

You've got questions. He's got answers.

Read More
March 21, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Fitness, Training, Personal trainer, Todd
March 14, 2018

Boston Spectator Training Hard for Marathon

March 14, 2018/ Mark Remy
Boston Spectator Training Hard for Marathon

Local man's regimen involves standing, screaming, drinking.

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March 14, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training
Boston Marathon, Marathon training, Beer, Wicked
February 28, 2018

Concierge Has Idea For Where Guest Can Run

February 28, 2018/ Mark Remy
Concierge Has Idea For Where Guest Can Run

Hotel staffer suggests 0.9-mile "fitness path."

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February 28, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Hotel, Desk clerk, Travel
February 26, 2018

'I Don't Care About Pace,' Says Woman Who's Always Half a Step Ahead

February 26, 2018/ Mark Remy
'I Don't Care About Pace,' Says Woman Who's Always Half a Step Ahead

Local runner touts self to others as "noncompetitive." 

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February 26, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Pace, Half step
January 28, 2018

New Virtual Reality Headset Lets Indoor Runners Pretend They're in Nicer Gym

January 28, 2018/ Mark Remy
New Virtual Reality Headset Lets Indoor Runners Pretend They're in Nicer Gym

With the flip of a switch, grimy fitness centers go from shabby to chic.

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January 28, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training
Treadmill, Gym, Virtual reality
January 21, 2018

Mr. President, Here's Your Fitness Plan (Seriously)

January 21, 2018/ Mark Remy
Mr. President, Here's Your Fitness Plan (Seriously)

Forget "exercise" and just go for a run. Today. Really.

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January 21, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Real, Training
Donald Trump, Exercise, Start running, Beginners
January 08, 2018

Ball Heavy

January 08, 2018/ Mark Remy
Ball Heavy

Man lifts object despite its considerable mass.

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January 08, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Ball, Heavy
August 09, 2017

5 Simple Running Tips That Don't Matter Anymore Because We're All Going to Die in a Nuclear War Maybe as Soon as This Week

August 09, 2017/ Mark Remy
5 Simple Running Tips That Don't Matter Anymore Because We're All Going to Die in a Nuclear War Maybe as Soon as This Week

Don't worry about changing your form. In fact, don't worry about anything.

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August 09, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Real, Training
Nuclear war, Tips
June 18, 2017

FREE! Training Plan Generator

June 18, 2017/ Mark Remy
FREE! Training Plan Generator

Add another dimension to your running with the Dumb Runner Training Cube™!

Read More
June 18, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Real, Satire, Training, Racing
Training plans, Marathon training, Cube, Free training plans
January 23, 2017

Man's Anecdote Contradicts Research on Knee Health

January 23, 2017/ Mark Remy
Man's Anecdote Contradicts Research on Knee Health

"Back to the drawing board," say scientists.

Read More
January 23, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Injury prevention, Training
Research, Knees, Anecdotes., Data
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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