Ask the Fitness Bro: 'The Kids Saw Us Having Sex! Now What?'

 istockphoto.com

istockphoto.com

Editor's Note: Todd Tanner is a longtime fitness enthusiast, a veteran of nine 5Ks, and a Certified Fitness Bro (CFB). He has also taken online courses in Sociology, Advanced Kettlebell Theory, and Superfoods. He is here to answer your fitness and training questions every two to 24 weeks.

Dear Fitness Bro,
My wife and I are both runners, and our two young children recently saw us having sex. My wife was just embarrassed, but I sort of freaked out and yelled at them to shut the door. Did I overreact? Where do we go from here?—Randy in Reno

Dear Randy,
Thanks for your question, and for the photos. You are a lucky man! As for your questions, I wouldn't worry too much. Kids are resilient. If it will make you feel better, sit down with your children and apologize for losing your cool. Explain that you were just surprised, and that when people are surprised sometimes they react in ways that can scare other people. Tell them that you and their mom were having private time, and that you should have locked the door. After that, I suggest doing some core work. The core is super important.—Todd Tanner, CFB


Dear Fitness Bro,
During workouts, I have been drinking plain water from the drinking fountain. That must be wrong, because I don't see anyone else doing it. What should I be drinking, and what water bottle is the most effective for delivering it?—Questionably Quenched

Dear QQ,
This is more a question for my colleague Jenna. She's a Certified Nutrition Specialist (CNS) and Licensed Hydration Advisor (LHA), and also my roommate's girlfriend. If I had to guess, I'd say Jenna would ask for some more information first, like your height and body weight and the results of a recent "sweat test" to see how much you sweat during your workouts. Without that info, it's really hard to advise you on what you should be drinking, and how much, and how often.

In any case, definitely stay away from drinking fountains. They're gross!

As for hydration delivery systems, Jenna would probably recommend the Thurman HydraFlow 2-Liter hydration vest. It costs about 90 bucks, I think. If you're interested, check Jenna's Instagram page for a promo code. She's a Thurman ambassador.  #ThirstyThurman!—Todd Tanner, CFB

Dear Fitness Bro,
Settle a bet. My buddy buys shampoo in bottles with flip-top caps, figuring that every time he showers he gets some bonus resistance training every time he picks the bottle up and puts it back down. I choose shampoo in bottles with pump tops, my logic being that working the pump gives my arms a better workout. Which approach is better, from a strength-building and calorie-burning perspective?—In a Lather

Dear Lather,
Bro. That is such a good question. I can see the merits of each approach, but I have to go with yours—the pump top. The problem with your buddy's method is that every time he uses his shampoo, the bottle gets a little bit lighter—i.e., easier to lift. That is exactly the opposite of what you want when you're trying to build strength! Meanwhile, you're getting a solid workout every time you work that pump, all the way till the end. So you can tell your friend I'm sorry, but he's wrong. By the way: I recommend purchasing separate bottles shampoo and conditioner, rather than a single bottle of the 2-in-1 stuff. Two bottles = Twice the workout. Happy showering.—Todd Tanner, CFB


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