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April 21, 2025

In Multibillion-Dollar Deal, Strava Acquires Users’ Eternal Souls

April 21, 2025/ Mark Remy
In Multibillion-Dollar Deal, Strava Acquires Users’ Eternal Souls

Company’s motives and plans remain unclear.

Read More
April 21, 2025/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training
Strava, Soul, Eternity, Business deals
April 07, 2025

Lackadaisical Runner Does Every Run in Zone Meh

April 07, 2025/ Mark Remy
Lackadaisical Runner Does Every Run in Zone Meh

Local man keeps effort at a sort-of-trying-but-not-too-hard level.

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April 07, 2025/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training
Zones, Meh, Lackadaisical
March 27, 2025

Dumb Runner Illustrated #125: 'Coaching'

March 27, 2025/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #125: 'Coaching'

Fartlek leads to anger…

Read More
March 27, 2025/ Mark Remy/
Training
Training, Speed, Star Wars, Yoda, Coach
March 26, 2025

‘I Don’t Mind Being Called a Jogger,’ Says Woman Who, Technically, Isn’t Even Jogging

March 26, 2025/ Mark Remy
‘I Don’t Mind Being Called a Jogger,’ Says Woman Who, Technically, Isn’t Even Jogging

“Why not just call yourself a walker?” source asks.

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March 26, 2025/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Jogging, Running, Walking, Labels
February 26, 2025

‘Running Is Torture,’ Says Man Whose Own Choices Make Running Feel Like Torture

February 26, 2025/ Mark Remy
‘Running Is Torture,’ Says Man Whose Own Choices Make Running Feel Like Torture

Local runner’s pain and discomfort is entirely self-inflicted.

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February 26, 2025/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training
Mistakes, Torture, Self knowledge, Pain
December 23, 2024

Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Be Worried About My Vertical Oscillation?

December 23, 2024/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Be Worried About My Vertical Oscillation?

Short answer: Nah.

Read More
December 23, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Training, Real
Ask Dr. Dumb, Runner's World, Data, The Smiths
September 30, 2024

Man in ‘Purely Physical’ Relationship with Running Finds Self Getting Emotionally Attached

September 30, 2024/ Mark Remy
Man in ‘Purely Physical’ Relationship with Running Finds Self Getting Emotionally Attached

Local runner not sure what to do with feelings.

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September 30, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training
Relationships, Emotions, Heart
September 09, 2024

‘What’s Happening Behind Me Is None of My Business,’ Says Earbud-Wearing Man Running With Flow of Traffic

September 09, 2024/ Mark Remy
‘What’s Happening Behind Me Is None of My Business,’ Says Earbud-Wearing Man Running With Flow of Traffic

"Don't know, don't wanna know," runner declares.

Read More
September 09, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Safety, Earbuds, Motorists, Cluelessness
July 24, 2024

Report: Local Runner Has Just About Had It With This Stupid Goddamn Hill

July 24, 2024/ Mark Remy
Report: Local Runner Has Just About Had It With This Stupid Goddamn Hill

“Fuck’s sake,” woman says.

Read More
July 24, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Hills, Psychology, Climbing
July 16, 2024

Treadmill Confounds Local Dunderhead

July 16, 2024/ Mark Remy
Treadmill Confounds Local Dunderhead

Frustrated simpleton eventually gives up.

Read More
July 16, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training
Treadmill, Dunderhead, Simpleton, Frustration
July 10, 2024

New Report Finds Most Effective Way to Run Well and Recover Quickly Is to Be 20 Years Old

July 10, 2024/ Mark Remy
New Report Finds Most Effective Way to Run Well and Recover Quickly Is to Be 20 Years Old

Findings are hailed as good news for 20-year-olds.

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July 10, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training
Youth, Training, Research, 20 years old, Recovery
June 26, 2024

Cackling Heat Miser Emerges From Oven-Hot Asphalt to Urge On Dehydrated Runner

June 26, 2024/ Mark Remy
Cackling Heat Miser Emerges From Oven-Hot Asphalt to Urge On  Dehydrated Runner

“Keep going!” shimmering apparition tells local man.

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June 26, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Heat, Heat Miser, Apparition, Hallucination, Dehydration, Heat stroke
January 01, 2024

Local Runner Kicks Off 2024 With First Injury of the Year

January 01, 2024/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Kicks Off 2024 With First Injury of the Year

Man is undaunted after knee pain cuts run short.

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January 01, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire, Injury prevention
New Year, Injuries
November 22, 2023

‘I Need to Get Back in Shape,’ Says Man Who Has Never Really Been in Shape

November 22, 2023/ Mark Remy
‘I Need to Get Back in Shape,’ Says Man Who Has Never Really Been in Shape

Sedentary father seeks return to mythical past.

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November 22, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Fitness, Mythical past, Exer, Resolutions
September 06, 2023

10 Minutes Per Mile Apparently Counts as ‘Blistering Pace,’ Local Runner Discovers

September 06, 2023/ Mark Remy
10 Minutes Per Mile Apparently Counts as ‘Blistering Pace,’ Local Runner Discovers

Speed didn’t feel “blistering,” woman says.

Read More
September 06, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Blisters, Speed, Pace, Pain
March 06, 2023

Old-School Marathoner Says Tech-Obsessed Runners Will Never Know the Pleasure of Filling Dozens of Notebooks With 42 Years of Training Data or the Pain of Losing Them All in a House Fire

March 06, 2023/ Mark Remy
Old-School Marathoner Says Tech-Obsessed Runners Will Never Know the Pleasure of Filling Dozens of Notebooks With 42 Years of Training Data or the Pain of Losing Them All in a House Fire

“You just won’t get that with these digital trackers,” man says.

Read More
March 06, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Aging, Training log, Notebooks, Life, Data, Technology
March 02, 2023

Local Runner Wakes Up Early to Squeeze in Quick Hamstring Injury Before Work

March 02, 2023/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Wakes Up Early to Squeeze in Quick Hamstring Injury Before Work


”It’s good to get it done early,” busy woman says.

Read More
March 02, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
morning runs, Injuries, Hamstring, Scheduling
February 27, 2023

Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Become an Aerobic Monster?

February 27, 2023/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Become an Aerobic Monster?

Outside Online seems to think so. But what does that mean?

Read More
February 27, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training
Ask Dr. Dumb, Training, Aerobic, Monsters, Coach
February 01, 2023

Local Marathoner Likes to Do Long Runs on Saturdays So She Can Keep Sundays Free for Doing Nothing, Being Sore

February 01, 2023/ Mark Remy
Local Marathoner Likes to Do Long Runs on Saturdays So She Can Keep Sundays Free for Doing Nothing, Being Sore

“It’s nice to get it done early in the weekend,” says woman.

Read More
February 01, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Marathon training, Long runs, Sore muscles, Recovery
January 18, 2023

Angry Runner Who Quit Strava Last Week Already Back on Strava

January 18, 2023/ Mark Remy
Angry Runner Who Quit Strava Last Week Already Back on Strava

Man quietly restores account days after canceling in disgust.

Read More
January 18, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training
Strava, Addiction, Social media, Outrage
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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