Dumb Runner Illustrated #125: 'Coaching'
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‘I Don’t Mind Being Called a Jogger,’ Says Woman Who, Technically, Isn’t Even Jogging
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“Why not just call yourself a walker?” source asks.
Read More‘Running Is Torture,’ Says Man Whose Own Choices Make Running Feel Like Torture
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Local runner’s pain and discomfort is entirely self-inflicted.
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Man in ‘Purely Physical’ Relationship with Running Finds Self Getting Emotionally Attached
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Local runner not sure what to do with feelings.
Read More‘What’s Happening Behind Me Is None of My Business,’ Says Earbud-Wearing Man Running With Flow of Traffic
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"Don't know, don't wanna know," runner declares.
Read MoreReport: Local Runner Has Just About Had It With This Stupid Goddamn Hill
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“Fuck’s sake,” woman says.
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New Report Finds Most Effective Way to Run Well and Recover Quickly Is to Be 20 Years Old
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Findings are hailed as good news for 20-year-olds.
Read MoreCackling Heat Miser Emerges From Oven-Hot Asphalt to Urge On Dehydrated Runner
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“Keep going!” shimmering apparition tells local man.
Read MoreLocal Runner Kicks Off 2024 With First Injury of the Year
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Man is undaunted after knee pain cuts run short.
Read More‘I Need to Get Back in Shape,’ Says Man Who Has Never Really Been in Shape
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Sedentary father seeks return to mythical past.
Read More10 Minutes Per Mile Apparently Counts as ‘Blistering Pace,’ Local Runner Discovers
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Speed didn’t feel “blistering,” woman says.
Read MoreOld-School Marathoner Says Tech-Obsessed Runners Will Never Know the Pleasure of Filling Dozens of Notebooks With 42 Years of Training Data or the Pain of Losing Them All in a House Fire
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“You just won’t get that with these digital trackers,” man says.
Read MoreLocal Runner Wakes Up Early to Squeeze in Quick Hamstring Injury Before Work
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”It’s good to get it done early,” busy woman says.
Read MoreAsk Dr. Dumb: Should I Become an Aerobic Monster?
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Outside Online seems to think so. But what does that mean?
Read MoreLocal Marathoner Likes to Do Long Runs on Saturdays So She Can Keep Sundays Free for Doing Nothing, Being Sore
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“It’s nice to get it done early in the weekend,” says woman.
Read MoreAngry Runner Who Quit Strava Last Week Already Back on Strava
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Man quietly restores account days after canceling in disgust.
Read MorePersonal Trainer’s New Year's Resolutions All Include the Word ‘Core’
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Local man pledges to strengthen core, encourage others to do so.
Read MoreLocal Runner Spends Some Time Strengthening Core, Staring at Floor Thinkin’ About Stuff
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