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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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March 27, 2025

Dumb Runner Illustrated #125: 'Coaching'

March 27, 2025/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #125: 'Coaching'

Fartlek leads to anger…

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March 27, 2025/ Mark Remy/
Training
Training, Speed, Star Wars, Yoda, Coach
July 10, 2024

New Report Finds Most Effective Way to Run Well and Recover Quickly Is to Be 20 Years Old

July 10, 2024/ Mark Remy
New Report Finds Most Effective Way to Run Well and Recover Quickly Is to Be 20 Years Old

Findings are hailed as good news for 20-year-olds.

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July 10, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training
Youth, Training, Research, 20 years old, Recovery
February 27, 2023

Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Become an Aerobic Monster?

February 27, 2023/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Become an Aerobic Monster?

Outside Online seems to think so. But what does that mean?

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February 27, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training
Ask Dr. Dumb, Training, Aerobic, Monsters, Coach
July 25, 2022

Treadmills Suck, Researchers Conclude

July 25, 2022/ Mark Remy
Treadmills Suck, Researchers Conclude

Report’s findings are “definitive,” say scientists.

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July 25, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Treadmill, Training, Laboratory, Electrodes, Research
June 29, 2022

Whole-Body Workout Injures Whole Body

June 29, 2022/ Mark Remy
Whole-Body Workout Injures Whole Body

Local runner hurts entire self in just 30 minutes, with no equipment.

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June 29, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Whole body, Training, Injuries
June 20, 2022

For Local Runner, ‘Comparatively Light Intensity Training’ Zone Remains Elusive

June 20, 2022/ Mark Remy
For Local Runner, ‘Comparatively Light Intensity Training’ Zone Remains Elusive

“I just can’t put my finger on it,” man says.

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June 20, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Training, Buttons, Zones, Sexual tension
October 07, 2020

Report: Schadenfreude Makes Workouts 20% More Enjoyable

October 07, 2020/ Mark Remy
Report: Schadenfreude Makes Workouts 20% More Enjoyable

New study has implications in fields of exercise science and karmic retribution.

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October 07, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Training, Research, Schadenfreude, Enjoyment, Stephen Miller, Comeuppance
May 19, 2020

Basic Features Will Remain Free, Strava Reassures Pathetic Cheapskates

May 19, 2020/ Mark Remy
Basic Features Will Remain Free, Strava Reassures Pathetic Cheapskates

Company stresses its shift to subscription model won’t shut out stingy parasites.

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May 19, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire, Real
Strava, Training, Data
February 05, 2020

‘Join Us,’ Strava Users Chant as Man Races to Barricade Door

February 05, 2020/ Mark Remy
‘Join Us,’ Strava Users Chant as Man Races to Barricade Door

Local runner besieged by lurching horde of data fiends.

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February 05, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Strava, Zombies, Training, Technology, Data
October 23, 2019

Local Runner Pretty Happy on His Current Level

October 23, 2019/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Pretty Happy on His Current Level

Next level fails to tantalize.

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October 23, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Training, Real
Levels, Training, Fitness, Contentment
April 24, 2019

New Injury Guidelines Recommend Wincing, Clutching Source of Pain

April 24, 2019/ Mark Remy
New Injury Guidelines Recommend Wincing, Clutching Source of Pain

Move reverses decades’ worth of traditional advice.

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April 24, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training, Injury prevention
Injuries, Training, Pain
March 25, 2019

'I'm So Out of Shape,' Laments Person Currently Kicking Your Ass

March 25, 2019/ Mark Remy
'I'm So Out of Shape,' Laments Person Currently Kicking Your Ass

The takeaway, experts say: You suck.

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March 25, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training
Fitness, Training, Group runs, Ass
February 25, 2019

White-Hot Stabbing Sensation Under Kneecap Probably Nothing Serious

February 25, 2019/ Mark Remy
White-Hot Stabbing Sensation Under Kneecap Probably Nothing Serious

Searing pain will likely go away on its own, man tells self.

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February 25, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training, Injury prevention
Injuries, Knees, Pain, Training
February 13, 2019

Old Guy's Marathon Training Plan Just a Bunch of Running

February 13, 2019/ Mark Remy
Old Guy's Marathon Training Plan Just a Bunch of Running

Septuagenarian’s regimen leaves younger runners incredulous.

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February 13, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire, Racing
Old guy, Training, Marathon training, Training plans
August 06, 2018

The Total Moron's Guide to Becoming a Runner

August 06, 2018/ Mark Remy
The Total Moron's Guide to Becoming a Runner

Don't know where to start? We’re here to help.

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August 06, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Real
Basics, Start running, Beginners, Training
July 18, 2018

Anguished Runner Can't Remember How to Beat Heat

July 18, 2018/ Mark Remy
Anguished Runner Can't Remember How to Beat Heat

Man can’t decide what to wear, when to go, whether to hydrate.

Read More
July 18, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training
Heat, Panic, Tips, Training, Summer
May 09, 2018

Ask the Fitness Bro: 'The Kids Saw Us Having Sex! Now What?'

May 09, 2018/ Mark Remy
Ask the Fitness Bro: 'The Kids Saw Us Having Sex! Now What?'

You’ve got questions. He’s got answers.

Read More
May 09, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Todd, Fitness, Training, Personal trainer, Sex
March 21, 2018

NEW! Ask the Fitness Bro

March 21, 2018/ Mark Remy
NEW! Ask the Fitness Bro

You've got questions. He's got answers.

Read More
March 21, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Fitness, Training, Personal trainer, Todd
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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