Report: Old Guy Hauling Ass

 istockphoto.com

istockphoto.com

An old guy is hauling ass along the waterfront path, several sources have told Dumb Runner.

The unnamed man, in sunglasses and a sleeveless shirt, appears to be "in his 70s, give or take" and at last report was running a pace of around 7 minutes 30 seconds per mile.

"I don't recognize the guy," one witness told Dumb Runner by phone, "so don't think he's a local."

"But he is definitely tearing it up."

Another witness confirmed the story, saying, "I only hope I can go half that fast when I'm his age."

He also mentioned the man's sleeveless shirt, and the relatively muscular arms it revealed. 

"Dude is jacked," he said. "He must do pull-ups or push-ups. Or something."

It was unclear how far the man was planning to go or whether he intended to maintain his kick-ass pace for the duration of his run.

"I'd be amazed if he could keep this up much longer," said the first witness. "He is just hauling ass."