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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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March 26, 2017

Kid Leading Race Has Awful Form, Man Reports

March 26, 2017/ Mark Remy
Kid Leading Race Has Awful Form, Man Reports

"Look at that heel strike," says Tot Trot spectator.

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March 26, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Kids, Form, Kids race
March 21, 2017

Man's Rage at Marathon Cheaters Starting to Freak Friends Out

March 21, 2017/ Mark Remy
Man's Rage at Marathon Cheaters Starting to Freak Friends Out

"I'm like, Dude. Get a grip," says a coworker.

Read More
March 21, 2017/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Cheating, Marathons, Rage
March 07, 2017

Marlboro Announces Half-Marathon Race Series

March 07, 2017/ Mark Remy
Marlboro Announces Half-Marathon Race Series

Cigarette maker targets "today's active smoker."

Read More
March 07, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Marlboro, Racing, Sponsorships, Smokin'
February 20, 2017

Here's How You Can #Run4Sweden

February 20, 2017/ Mark Remy
Here's How You Can #Run4Sweden

Join us in honoring those not lost in an attack that didn't happen.

Read More
February 20, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Sweden, Never forget, Donald Trump
February 05, 2017

Inspired by Forrest Gump, Man Runs Across U.S., Fights in Vietnam, Gets Shot in Buttocks, Becomes Table Tennis Champ, Buys Fleet of Shrimping Boats

February 05, 2017/ Mark Remy
Inspired by Forrest Gump, Man Runs Across U.S., Fights in Vietnam, Gets Shot in Buttocks, Becomes Table Tennis Champ, Buys Fleet of Shrimping Boats

"It's been a heck of an experience."

Read More
February 05, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Forrest Gump, Vietnam, Shrimp, Table Tennis
January 29, 2017

With Executive Order, Trump Bans Metric Race Distances

January 29, 2017/ Mark Remy
With Executive Order, Trump Bans Metric Race Distances

For American runners, a farewell to the 5K—and more.

Read More
January 29, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Racing, Metric system, Donald Trump
January 18, 2017

Dog Who Ran Half-Marathon Accused of Cheating

January 18, 2017/ Mark Remy
Dog Who Ran Half-Marathon Accused of Cheating

Missing data paints a damning picture, a website says.

Read More
January 18, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Dogs, Racing, Cheating
January 03, 2017

Guy on Next Treadmill Definitely Just Farted

January 03, 2017/ Mark Remy
Guy on Next Treadmill Definitely Just Farted

The incident occurred just moments after the man had started using the machine.

Read More
January 03, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Flatulence, Fart, Treadmill
December 20, 2016

Year in Review: Our 12 Most Popular Articles of 2016

December 20, 2016/ Mark Remy
Year in Review: Our 12 Most Popular Articles of 2016

Meb, Trump, and guns all played big parts. Because of course they did.

Read More
December 20, 2016/ Mark Remy/
News, Real, Satire
2016, Most Popular
December 18, 2016

Trump Appoints New Director of Fitness, Sports & Nutrition

December 18, 2016/ Mark Remy
Trump Appoints New Director of Fitness, Sports & Nutrition

Once again, the President-Elect looks to the private sector for a leadership role.

Read More
December 18, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Donald Trump, Fitness, Drywall
December 12, 2016

Man Still Waiting for 'New Him' Promised Last January

December 12, 2016/ Mark Remy
Man Still Waiting for 'New Him' Promised Last January

"I'm still just kinda schlubby," he says.

Read More
December 12, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Motivation
New Year, Motivation, Media
November 17, 2016

New Balance Exec: 'We Enjoy Clubbing Baby Seals'

November 17, 2016/ Mark Remy
New Balance Exec: 'We Enjoy Clubbing Baby Seals'

"We don't even use the fur. It's just a stress-relief thing."

Read More
November 17, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News, Gear
New Balance, TPP, Donald Trump, Baby seals
November 07, 2016

Runners Pledge to Never Dope, Except for Really Big Races

November 07, 2016/ Mark Remy
Runners Pledge to Never Dope, Except for Really Big Races

A grassroots campaign goes viral on social media.

Read More
November 07, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Doping, Cleanish, Slacktivism
October 24, 2016

Endorsement: Meb Keflezighi for President

October 24, 2016/ Mark Remy
Endorsement: Meb Keflezighi for President

He is charming, pleasant, self-effacing... and incredibly tough.

Read More
October 24, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
President, 2016 election, Meb Keflezighi, America
October 19, 2016

Woman Runs Entire Marathon While Juggling Career, Family

October 19, 2016/ Mark Remy
Woman Runs Entire Marathon While Juggling Career, Family

Pending verification, it's a new Guinness World Record.

Read More
October 19, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Marathons, Juggling
October 10, 2016

Nipple-Free Males 'Almost a Reality,' Say Researchers

October 10, 2016/ Mark Remy
Nipple-Free Males 'Almost a Reality,' Say Researchers

A genetics breakthrough has runners talking.

Read More
October 10, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Nipples, Genes, Chafing, Science, Research
October 03, 2016

70% of Americans Unable to Locate 'Core' on Map of Body

October 03, 2016/ Mark Remy
70% of Americans Unable to Locate 'Core' on Map of Body

"You can't blast your core," researchers say, "if you don't know where to blast."

Read More
October 03, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Polls, Core
September 19, 2016

Man Enjoys Running

September 19, 2016/ Mark Remy
Man Enjoys Running

"My enjoyment level," he says, "is high. For sure."

Read More
September 19, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Running, Enjoyment
August 31, 2016

Local Runner Worried She'll Never Crush a Race

August 31, 2016/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Worried She'll Never Crush a Race

A long list of running accomplishments remains incomplete.

Read More
August 31, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire
Racing, Sad, Crush
August 30, 2016

Hey, Runners! Did Your State Make the List?

August 30, 2016/ Mark Remy
Hey, Runners! Did Your State Make the List?

You'll have to click to find out.

Read More
August 30, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
States, Rankings, Clickbait
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  • Running 101/
  • SHOP/
    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
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  • Support Dumb Runner/
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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