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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Running News from DumbRunner.com

Running news, running commentary, and running humor from DumbRunner.com, updated several times every week.

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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May 21, 2017

2:06 Marathoner Suddenly Realizes How Fast He Is

May 21, 2017/ Mark Remy
2:06 Marathoner Suddenly Realizes How Fast He Is

"Holy shit,"  says an elite competitor.

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May 21, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Kenya, Marathons, Racing, PR
May 21, 2017

Thank You to Our Supporters, Old and New!

May 21, 2017/ Mark Remy
Thank You to Our Supporters, Old and New!

Dumb Runner's Spring 2017 Pledge Drive was a success, thanks to you.

Read More
May 21, 2017/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Gratitude, Support Dumb Runner, Pledge drive, Patreon
May 16, 2017

Friends, Please Watch This Awkward 4-Minute Video

May 16, 2017/ Mark Remy
Friends, Please Watch This Awkward 4-Minute Video

BONUS: The sound quality is awful. But it's an important message.

Read More
May 16, 2017/ Mark Remy/
News, Real
Pledge drive, Support Dumb Runner, Awkward video
May 06, 2017

Trump: Andrew Jackson Would Have Broken 2 Hours in Marathon

May 06, 2017/ Mark Remy
Trump: Andrew Jackson Would Have Broken 2 Hours in Marathon

President weighs in on recent Breaking2 attempt.

Read More
May 06, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Breaking2, Marathons, Andrew Jackson, Donald Trump
May 06, 2017

5 Moments When Eliud Kipchoge Blew His Chances for a Sub-2:00 Finish

May 06, 2017/ Mark Remy
5 Moments When Eliud Kipchoge Blew His Chances for a Sub-2:00 Finish

At Saturday's Breaking2 attempt, a series of rookie mistakes add up.

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May 06, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Breaking2, Nike, Eliud Kipchoge, Marathons
May 05, 2017

Runners Hit 'Breaking2' Marathon Expo

May 05, 2017/ Mark Remy
Runners Hit 'Breaking2' Marathon Expo

Elites grab their race packets and enjoy free CLIF samples.

Read More
May 05, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Breaking2, Marathons, Expo, Asics
May 04, 2017

BREAKING: Nike Scientists Create 1:59 Marathon in Test Tube

May 04, 2017/ Mark Remy
BREAKING: Nike Scientists Create 1:59 Marathon in Test Tube

A laboratory setting affords "absolute control over every variable."

Read More
May 04, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Breaking2, Marathons, Nike, Science
May 02, 2017

EXCLUSIVE: Nike Is the Mystery Company Behind 'Breaking2' Effort

May 02, 2017/ Mark Remy
EXCLUSIVE: Nike Is the Mystery Company Behind 'Breaking2' Effort

The footwear maker had hoped to keep its support quiet. 

Read More
May 02, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Breaking2, Marketing, Marathons, Nike
April 19, 2017

Gate Agent Relieved She Can Stop Feigning Interest in Marathon

April 19, 2017/ Mark Remy
Gate Agent Relieved She Can Stop Feigning Interest in Marathon

"Thank God, that's over for another year."

Read More
April 19, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Boston Marathon, Boston, Air travel, Feigned interest
April 18, 2017

Man Forgets Boston Marathon Jacket on Plane

April 18, 2017/ Mark Remy
Man Forgets Boston Marathon Jacket on Plane

Cherished souvenir is left in an overhead bin.

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April 18, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Boston Marathon, Jacket, Air travel
April 17, 2017

Man at Mile 2 of Boston Marathon Pretty Sure He's En Route to Huge PR

April 17, 2017/ Mark Remy
Man at Mile 2 of Boston Marathon Pretty Sure He's En Route to Huge PR

"I am flying!" first-time Boston participant thinks to self.

Read More
April 17, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Boston Marathon, PR, Hubris
April 14, 2017

Hopkinton Plant Life Braces for Annual Onslaught of Urine

April 14, 2017/ Mark Remy
Hopkinton Plant Life Braces for Annual Onslaught of Urine

"We have a love/hate relationship with the marathon," said a blooming shrub.

Read More
April 14, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Boston Marathon, Hopkinton, Plants, Urine
April 11, 2017

Pence Warns Boston Marathon Runners of 'Wicked' Wellesley

April 11, 2017/ Mark Remy
Pence Warns Boston Marathon Runners of 'Wicked' Wellesley

The VP sees undue temptation in a marathon tradition.

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April 11, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Mike Pence, Boston Marathon, Wellesley, Scream Tunnel, Kiss
April 09, 2017

Meet the (New!) Dumbassadors

April 09, 2017/ Mark Remy
Meet the (New!) Dumbassadors

We salute our latest crop of brand ambassadors.

Read More
April 09, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Real, News
Dumbassador, Brand ambassador
April 04, 2017

Woman Can't Quite Place Smell She's Picking Up From Yoga Mat

April 04, 2017/ Mark Remy
Woman Can't Quite Place Smell She's Picking Up From Yoga Mat

A loaner from the hotel fitness center is a source of mystery.

Read More
April 04, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Yoga, Yoga mat, Smell, Funk
April 02, 2017

Distance Running Destroys Lungs, Says Study

April 02, 2017/ Mark Remy
Distance Running Destroys Lungs, Says Study

Research finds 9 of 10 marathoners suffer from tachypnea.

Read More
April 02, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Marathons, Lungs, Tachypnea, Hidden Health Risks
March 26, 2017

Kid Leading Race Has Awful Form, Man Reports

March 26, 2017/ Mark Remy
Kid Leading Race Has Awful Form, Man Reports

"Look at that heel strike," says Tot Trot spectator.

Read More
March 26, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Kids, Form, Kids race
March 21, 2017

Man's Rage at Marathon Cheaters Starting to Freak Friends Out

March 21, 2017/ Mark Remy
Man's Rage at Marathon Cheaters Starting to Freak Friends Out

"I'm like, Dude. Get a grip," says a coworker.

Read More
March 21, 2017/ Mark Remy/
News, Satire
Cheating, Marathons, Rage
March 07, 2017

Marlboro Announces Half-Marathon Race Series

March 07, 2017/ Mark Remy
Marlboro Announces Half-Marathon Race Series

Cigarette maker targets "today's active smoker."

Read More
March 07, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Marlboro, Racing, Sponsorships, Smokin'
February 20, 2017

Here's How You Can #Run4Sweden

February 20, 2017/ Mark Remy
Here's How You Can #Run4Sweden

Join us in honoring those not lost in an attack that didn't happen.

Read More
February 20, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, News
Sweden, Never forget, Donald Trump
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    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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